9 Lessons In 9 Months

As some of you may know, last year I welcomed my first child into the world, Zane Brown, a perfect 6lb 11oz baby boy who has no doubt changed my life in ways I could never have imagined. Becoming a mother was not something I always envisioned, as I’ve always been extremely career-driven. The idea of stepping away from my work, even temporarily, felt daunting and, quite honestly, scary. The shift in my identity and letting go of projects and clients I had worked so hard to build were some of my biggest emotional challenges as I approached maternity leave and entered a new chapter of my life.

Becoming a mum and finding a way to weave this new role into my work life has been an interesting journey over the past nine months. I’ve learned so much about myself and what truly matters to me, which I thought I’d share. There’s not enough discussion about how women feel when their identity shifts, and the challenges of creating a new one, not just once the baby arrives but long before so I wanted to share some of my thoughts.

1. Identity

Your identity shifts, but It’s still yours - This was one of my biggest challenges. Work has always been an anchor in my life, giving me purpose and shaping my identity. I started working at 13 and never took more than two weeks off, so the idea of not engaging my brain in the same way daily was daunting. Questions buzzed in my head, Would I still be a good designer? Would I be forgotten? Would people see me differently? At times, I felt guilty for missing the person I was before my son was even born. This period taught me to embrace the vulnerability that comes with identity shifts and gave me a newfound respect for the amazing mums I know, both professionally and personally. Becoming a parent has changed me, but it hasn’t erased who I am. What I’ve learned is that work wasn't my identity, but my values and interests around work are what shaped me and they are the things that truly define me.

2. Boundaries

Anyone who knows me knows that I thrive under pressure and have always gone the extra mile, both professionally and personally. However, boundaries were something I often struggled with. Having Zane has taught me the importance of protecting my space and time - and that it’s okay to say no sometimes. In those early days when Zane was a new-born, setting boundaries allowed me to make decisions that were best for myself and my family. This experience has helped me reflect on other areas of my life, recognising where I can improve by implementing similar practices. Time and space have become sacred to me, and I now truly value how they are used and where my energy goes.

3. Do what is right for you!

For me, maintaining a connection with the office and my team, who are just as much friends as colleagues, was a huge source of support during my leave. I often found myself venturing into the office with Zane in hand to say hi and catch up over coffee. Some might think this is unusual and that I should have fully disconnected from work, but for me, staying connected brought great comfort. I even attended every monthly board meeting with my fellow directors to stay informed about the business, a request I made prior to my leave. While this approach isn’t for everyone, it was the right choice for me. If I had gone cold turkey and cut off all contact with the team, I would have struggled upon my return. Staying in the loop helped me ease back into work and avoid feeling overwhelmed.

4. Patience

This has been my biggest learning curve! As a self-confessed control freak with a relatively short patience threshold, Zane has taught me patience in abundance. Time has always been my biggest source of stress professionally, and being late for anything was my biggest fear. While this trait can be helpful, having my son has shown me that sometimes, timings don't work out and we adapt and bend to make things work. Initially, breaking the mould of my own routines caused me stress. But Zane has taught me that time is just one factor, and we must flex and adapt to accommodate things beyond our control. Those quiet early hours in the morning are some of the hardest, but also the most special. In moments of struggle, I’ve found peace and comfort. He’s taught me to be calm and shift my mindset to see the world through his eyes.

5. Community

Forming strong connections during this period has been a real lifeline. I was fortunate to find an amazing group of parents through NCT classes who quickly became close friends. They provided an instant circle of support, offering relatable experiences, tips and tricks, and even someone to WhatsApp in the early hours to exchange notes! Becoming a new mum can feel lonely at times, so for me, getting out, spending time outdoors, and being around people was essential. It also gave me the opportunity to reconnect with old friends and colleagues. Sharing experiences made the journey feel far less isolating. Attending classes and social events for new parents can be daunting, so it’s important to find what works best for you. Whether it’s a class, a walk in the park, or a coffee chat, building a sense of community can make a world of difference.

6. The days are long but the months are short

Time moves strangely during maternity leave. Some days feel endless, but looking back, the months have flown by. Before having Zane, I imagined all the things I would do during maternity leave, long lists of ambitious tasks and ideas. However, once Zane arrived, I quickly realised those items didn’t matter. What truly mattered was spending time with him, getting to know one another, and forming an amazing bond. Be kind to yourself and don’t put so much pressure on yourself to ‘achieve’ lots during this time. The only achievement that truly matters is the growth of you and your baby together. Cherishing the little moments has helped me appreciate the journey.

7. Self care is not selfish

Taking even a few moments for yourself - whether it’s a hot shower or a quick walk can make all the difference in your ability to care for your baby and maintain your mental well-being. During my leave, I was fortunate that my husband was working from home. Asking for small pockets of time in the morning to get ready became essential for me. I also value the importance of my body and health more than ever, being totally fascinated that my body grew a human!! We only get one body to look after, so staying fit and healthy and taking care of yourself is something that you owe to yourself. Putting on makeup and doing my hair each day made me feel like “me” again. It gave me an instant boost, even on days when tiredness was written all over my face. Behind the sunglasses might have been enormous bags of exhaustion, but making an effort for myself gave me confidence and happiness. Taking those moments, where possible, to do something just for you is so important.

8. Looking from the outside in

One of the most interesting aspects of my maternity leave has been having the chance to look at the business from the outside in for the first time. I’ve been with QD for 11 years, and when you’re deeply involved in the day-to-day, it’s often hard to see the bigger picture. This rare opportunity to step back has been a joy. I’ve watched the team’s confidence shine, observed the incredible speed and scale of projects running through the company daily, and gained insight into both its successes and challenges. Having this fresh perspective has been invaluable. I’m excited to return with new insights and ideas, bringing a different viewpoint to the table and hopefully, adding even more value to the team.

9. The Remarkable strength of women in business

Women who balance the demands of motherhood and business are nothing short of extraordinary. Navigating the challenges of raising children while leading teams, managing projects, and making impactful decisions is a testament to their resilience and adaptability. Motherhood brings a unique set of skills - patience, multitasking, empathy, and a deep sense of purpose, that often translate seamlessly into the professional world. What is even more inspiring is the way women uplift each other in these journeys, creating networks of support, encouragement, and innovation. Being both a mother and a professional is not about compromising either role but rather showing the world the incredible heights that can be achieved through dedication, determination, and love. Women are rewriting the narrative, proving every day that they can thrive in both worlds and inspire others to do the same.

These nine months have been a rollercoaster of emotions and lessons, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. Maternity leave has been as much a journey of personal growth as it has been about nurturing a new life. I am looking forward to the next chapter, returning to my career in the same full capacity as before - I can't wait to reconnect with you all!?

SB xxx