9 leadership reminders from a ten year old’s Grand Final

My son Oli played in his first baseball grand final this weekend. In Australia, this is the equivalent to North America’s city, league championships or game 7 of the final round of playoffs. Except this is for Little League, which is for kids aged under 12 playing baseball. So not quite game 7. There are no bonus payments if they win or lucrative endorsement opportunities awaiting. But I must admit, it felt pretty close.

The boys and girls Oli played with had varied backgrounds. Some were great athletes. Some weren’t. Some had never played a team sport before. Some were 8 years old. Some were 12. That’s a big difference at this age group.

The game was tied 3-3 after regulation time. They played 3 extra innings because unlike Test Cricket, baseball is played to get a result on the day. Imagine being asked to work an extra 60% (3 days a week for full timers) outside in the 32 degree weather! But the kids didn’t relent. They just kept at it. It was an amazing experience for our parents to see their children battle the elements, face an opposing star player who had the game of his life (he was amazing, well done Liam) and see both teams never give up. It was exactly what you want to see in kids sports.

As someone who works with every day to help teams and individuals maximise their potential, I realised that much of what I witnessed on the weekend applies to leadership. So if you are want to improve employee productivity and engagement as well as results, think about these nine leadership reminders. I hope that at least one of these resonate with you and spurs you to take action.

#9 - Your leader does not have to be a subject matter expert. Oli’s coach had next to no experience in playing the game, let along coaching. But he had a great support crew and the coach was a gun at creating an atmosphere where the kids enjoyed playing. If a kid made a mistake, the coach would kneel down and point out what the child did well and encourage more of “that” for the next play. He did this after EVERY at bat. Not once did the coach talk about winning. Not once. But he did talk about hustle, helping your teammates and having a good attitude.

#8 - Being unified at the top impacts the unity of the rest of your team. The parent group had a diverse mix of backgrounds with little experience in playing the game at all, let alone at an elite level. But they all had one thing in common. They wanted to see their children enjoy their experiences, build confidence and develop social skills. And they all sat together, supported the coaches decisions and there were a number of group coffee runs. As a result, the unity at the top was mirrored within the playing group.

#7 - Giving everyone a chance to be the star pays dividends. Rather than play the best kids at the best positions all the time and maybe win an extra few games, the coach committed to developing all 14 players at all positions. This meant confidence levels went up for all players and all parents were able to see their children shine. From a talent perspective, this group had the deepest pitching staff (I may be biased but confidently so) than any other team in the league.

#6 - Having someone looking out for you makes a big difference. We had a couple of 12 year olds who really took to looking out for the younger players. One of our pitchers gave up the tying run in the last inning, and then proceeded to strike the next player out to end the threat of any more runs being scored. PZ, one of the older kids, ran up to our pitcher (who was the second youngest on the team), picked him up and carried him off the field, celebrating his big strikeout. The pitcher could have felt devastated having given up the lead, but instead, came off feeling like a champion because a teammate had his back.

# 5 - Leaving the past in the past is the best way to deal with disappointment. Oli was quite emotional after the game as were a couple other players. He was in tears. He said very little on the way home. But by the time we got to McDonald’s for a team celebration, he was off and running and laughing with his friends. And the rest of the day was great. 

#4 - In times of challenge, keeping your mouth shut can be powerful. On the way home, I tried to make Oli feel better. I praised hime for what he did well all year long, on that day and why he should feel good about himself. As I realised my babble was not helping, I shut up. And we drove together for 10 minutes, holding each other’s hand saying nothing. Finally, Oli broke the silence. “Dad, did you know you can measure how good your hearing is? I saw it on Netflix and I can hear 16,000 hertz.” Huh? Oli didn't need me to pump him up, he needed me to let him sort his feelings out, let it sink in and then move on.

#3 - There is nothing like having a good team get together. As I mentioned in reminder #5, the parents took the kids to Maccas to celebrate their achievements. Nothing formal, other than making finding enough tables for everyone. And the kids had a blast. They were back to their normal running around and causing chaos. An hour earlier, their hearts were broken. But put them in a social environment (maybe the sugar in the cheeseburger buns helped), all was good again.

#2 - In the end it’s relationships that matter. After the game, I asked Oli what we has most upset about. I expected him to mention how they didn’t win or how he didn’t perform as well as he would have liked to. You know what his answer was? “I probably won’t get to play with PZ again.” PZ was the kid who ran over to Oli and carried him off the field. And PZ was the one who was always looking out for his little buddy Oli. It sure feels good to know you’ve got a friend around looking out for you, whether it’s at work, at home or on the field.

#1 - Challenging times can create great opportunities for meaningful discussions. Over dinner that night, Oli asked me how I thought he played. I put the question to him (that’s the coach in me!). He said he didn’t think he had a great game. This time, rather than tell him he played great, I agreed with him. We agreed it’s ok to have off days. We spoke about what might have contributed to his performance and what he could do differently next time. He told me how he was really nervous. And that his legs shake during his first at bat of every game.* It was one of those discussions you want to bottle up and keep forever. It actually made me feel like I was doing a good job as a parent. And I think for both of us, it was a special moment where our connection was made even stronger. And not that I do a good job that often with our kids, in this case I was proud of the way I was open and honest with him. And because of that, he opened up even more.

Leading is not easy. Working with others is not easy, and it never will be. But I hope that one of these learnings will spark something inside of you to make an even bigger mark than you are already making. Boom!

*As a coach, I always seek to understand what impact people's behaviours and reactions have on their results. So later on at night, I went to see how Oli performed in his first at bats in the games throughout the year. Sure enough, his results indicated something was happening at the beginning of games. He rarely got a hit in his first at bat. The fact he admitted he was nervous now allows us to work on that for future games. I’ll keep you posted next year on how he goes.

Adrian Baillargeon People call me a collaboration expert, coach or behavioural consultant. And at times their biggest supporter. Whatever you want to call me, you will struggle to find someone who is as excited and well positioned to help organisations do together better. Whether it’s supporting leaders to create the foundations of a highly functioning group, working with external parties to create their own micro-culture within a partnership or working with organisations to ensure their teams have the right mindset to succeed - I love sharing my knowledge and passion to put people in the best position to succeed.

I am told one of my main strengths is the trust people put in me - and quickly. This means I can help teams share their real thoughts much quicker - and in plain english, allowing productive, “realer” conversations to happen. I also pick up the nuances of social cues - which helps me bring the underlying issues to the surface.

If you have a group of people who work together towards a common goal and think they can do better together, let’s have a chat & see how you can benefit from my help.

e: [email protected] (my last name is easy to spell - Bail Large On)

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