9. How do you feel about your future?

The third 'blog' regarding time is about how you view your future. The generalised attitude you hold regarding your future is important, because it shapes your context. It is part of the framework through which you think about your life. Your attitude will vary with the circumstances of your life, although you may notice that the overall tone remains consistent. Some people rush toward their future with excitement and anticipation - with optimism, while others are more restrained - they view their future with more pessimism. It's not an either or, but which end are you closer to?

A Fundamental Question:

How do I feel about my future?

People who think pessimistically about their future often harbour uncertainty about their ability to meet the challenges that life may give them. They have concerns, fears, anxieties—and seem to spend a lot of time worrying about them, since they feel like they lack control over events in their lives. They are less likely to take risks because they fear making mistakes. Thus, they exert energy maintaining the status quo, and playing it safe. Pessimist thinking assumes the worst, and can exaggerate small setbacks to large, generalised failures. If you know people who think pessimistically, you may have noticed how this latent negative attitude shows up, even in the most mundane things. “We’ll never find a parking space” or “The lines are going to be really long” are everyday examples.

One of the sources of their anxiety is a generally poor self-image, reflecting negative feelings about oneself. Another related source is self-blame, which leads them to focus on past mistakes—and to project them into the future. They have a resignation and feel powerless about their future.

Therefore, they are less likely to make detailed or ambitious plans for their future.

“As for the Future, your task is not to foresee, but to enable it.”

                                                      Saint Exupery

People who think more optimistically look on the more favourable side of events and anticipate the most favourable result. Their optimism is rooted in their positive self-image, and their belief that they have personal control over their own destinies. They take responsibility for what happens to them and have faith in their ability to cope effectively with situations that arise. They are not afraid to make mistakes. Far from being a permanent sign of failure, mistakes provide opportunities to learn, develop, and grow. Optimists have plans for their future, detailed and often ambitious. Their biggest concern may be how to accomplish the myriad of objectives they have laid out for themselves. In fact, they may hold overly positive illusions of themselves and their capabilities, but this gives them the fortitude to take on many challenges. Their outlook makes them seem more relaxed and happier to people around them, and makes them more enjoyable to be with. Fortunately, the characteristics of optimism tend to be contagious, such that people who are surrounded by others with positive outlooks improve their outlook as well.

Behavioural Symptoms of Pessimism

The following behaviours correlate with feeling pessimistic, although this may not be the only cause of these behaviours. Notice if you frequently exhibit any of the following characteristics:

?   Have concerns, fears, or anxieties about the future

?   Feel that you lack control over what happens to you

?   Regret and dwell on failures

?   Avoid risks

?   Believe in Murphy’s Law—if something can go wrong, it will

?   Have difficulty setting goals

?   Do not challenge yourself to higher standards

?   Complain a lot

?   See mistakes as failures

?   Doubt your own strengths and capabilities

?   Feel like you can’t cope with things

?   Have unresolved issues about your past

?   Think that things never change

?   Believe that the worst will always happen to you

?   Are cynical

?   Assume that you will repeat the same mistakes in the future 

“An optimist expects his dreams to come true; a pessimist expects his nightmares to.”

                                                            Anonymous

Actions to Encourage Optimism

Create something to look forward to. The act of setting an objective and accomplishing it, no matter how small, is a positive, self-esteem building process. Practice setting goals, and then notice how your behaviour changes to meet the challenge and reach the goal. Having something to look forward to is really motivating!

Do what you love most. Or at least avoid doing the things you really dislike. If you are in a situation that is not fulfilling for you (in your job, relationship, etc.), it is easy to be pessimistic and subsequently demotivated. If possible, spend more time doing the things that are important to you—or make the changes that you need to make to be able to do this.

Make lots of “mistakes.” When you declare something a “mistake,” it’s in relation to a hoped for and stated objective. If you didn’t have goals, you couldn’t make a mistake—so know that the number of mistakes you’re making is directly related to the number of goals you have, and to the degree to which you challenge yourself. But success is related to these things, too. People who try more, and take more risks, tend to succeed more. (They also make more mistakes.) So feel free to make mistakes!

Embrace your mistakes as the opportunities they are. Mistakes are golden learning opportunities. Don’t dwell on what you did wrong—focus on what you learned that can be applied to a similar situation, or to an alternative situation, in order to improve.

Develop optimistic friends. Optimism is contagious. Spend time with those people you know who are more skilled at seeing the positive in things. This will improve your attitude.

Challenge your assumptions. If you tend to assume the worst, practice stopping yourself, mid-stream, and asking, “Is there any real-world evidence that supports my negative expectation?” Sometimes it’s as easy as changing your interpretation from “the glass being half-empty” to “the glass is half-full.” Being realistic, there are times when things may actually be as bad as you think they are—but it’s probably not this way as often as you think.

Reflect on your accomplishments. Instead of rehashing what you should have or could have done, spend a few moments congratulating yourself for what you did right. This will help you create a healthy environment of non-reprisal, which will encourage and support you to accomplish more things, more effectively. 

“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I have lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it too.” 

Diane Ackerman.

So the question is - how do you view your future? Want to learn more? Please don't hesitate to get in touch with me directly or visit our website.

Article 1. What is Stress?

Article 2. It's all about the way we think!

Article 3. Thinking clearly Under Pressure

Article 4. How do you view your Self-image?

Article 5. Where is your Locus of Control?

Article 6. To what degree are you Self-Sufficient?

Article 7. How do you think of your past?

Content for these articles has been sourced from the Human Synergistics International Stress Management Programme conducted by HSNZ, which utilises the Stress Processing Report diagnostic developed by Dr. Robert Cooke. This programme is available as a public programme or as an in-house (modified if you wish) programme. Please contact me to learn more. All content copyright Human Synergistics International 2020.

Images are from the awesome crew at Gapingvoid Design Group - thanks team!