The 8th Ingredient of Happiness

Links in the Article:

• Marshall Goldsmith: The Dangers Of ‘Adding Value’ As CEO
• Barbara’s 8 Ingredients of Happiness
• Devotion

“Make sure your comments are worth it before you offer them.”

??????????? Marshall and Kelly Goldsmith wrote an amazingly insightful piece which appeared in the Chief Executive’s CEO Briefing of July 17, 2024. They asked a powerful question: When someone shares an idea with you and asks for your opinion, the urge is to cooperate. But the question the Goldsmith’s asked is even more important, “Is what you’re going to suggest or propose, actually worth damaging the attitude and aspirations of the person asking your advice?”

??????????? Their example is of the CEO, attempting to add value to any question he or she is asked. While the response might add a couple percent of additional value to their idea, the impact on the person you are “helping” can be devastating.

Their advice is directed, especially to important people whose comments are taken as direct-action orders. Studies show that even minor suggestions from VIP’s which add very little value to an idea or suggestion can reduce the proposer’s motivation to carry out their suggestions by as much as 50%, or they may forgo the idea altogether. ??

??????????? The Goldsmith’s suggest four powerful questions to ask yourself before you respond:

1. “Are you killing motivation?”Will your proposed comments add significant value and still motivate the person asking the question?
2. “Are your words orders?”For the CEO of an organization, almost everything they offer will be used to initiate some kind of action. Sometimes on many levels of the organization. Is that what you intend??
3. “Pause before adding value.” – Before speaking, ask yourself, “Is my comment going to improve this person’s commitment?” If the answer is no, then ask yourself, “Is it worth it?
4. This advice is really important at home. Which is why I’m adding it to Barbara’s original seven happiness ingredients. The Goldsmith’s advise before speaking, ask yourself, “Is my comment going to improve my relationship with the person I love?” If the answer is no, then ask yourself, “Is it worth it?” At home, if the comment you’re about to say could damage a relationship with the person you love, it is almost never worth it.”

Barbara’s ingredient number two is related, but the Goldsmith’s suggestion is very important. So often we think we are being helpful, but we’re stifling or hindering or perhaps even embarrassing someone we really care about who just wants some affirmation or confirmation about something they’re thinking about.

To read their full discussion click the following link. Marshall Goldsmith: The Dangers Of ‘Adding Value’ As CEO .

? Kelly Goldsmith and Marshall Goldsmith

Kelly Goldsmith is a professor of marketing at Vanderbilt University’s Owen Graduate School of Management. Marshall Goldsmith has been ranked as the world’s #1 leadership thinker and coach. His 44 books include the New York Times bestsellers What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, Triggers and MOJO.

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Barbara’s Eight Ingredients of Happiness

1. Strive to always say nice things about and to each other in private and publicly every day, everywhere.
2. Avoid saying the two or three divisive, corrosive things we might love to mention every day. Just skip it.
3. Always better to be positive or blah than negative or inflammatory.
4. Keep negative, irritating, needlessly, and intentionally abrasive people out of our lives. Walk away.
5. Happiness is having a simple, sensible, satisfying life every day.
6. Maintain a genuine respect for each other 24.7.
7. Always work to shift the credit for success to each other or others.
8. Be sure your advice is helpful. Before you speak ask yourself, “Is it worth it?”

Barbara’s 8 Ingredients of Happiness

Devotion