86,400 seconds: Now Counting...

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more” - Melody Beattie  

A blind boy sat on a busy street, with barely some belongings and with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which read, “I am blind, please help.” There was nothing in the hat but few coins. He wore dark glasses and smiled humbly as people rushed by, many barely giving him a glance.

A man stood nearby and saw how the commuters ignored the boy and kept passing by him. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. Then he put the sign back in the boy’s hand so that everyone who walked by would see the new words on the sign.

Strangely enough, the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy than before. That afternoon, the man who had changed the sign returned to see how things were. He smiled seeing the full hat.

The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way”.

The boy inquired and said he needed to know this truth. The man finally gave in and told him.

 I wrote, “Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it.”

Gratitude...

The word comes from the Latin word “gratus”, which means “thankful, pleasing”. By being pleased, you are happy with what you have, without feeling a sense of indebtedness or anxiety of having to pay it back. Science has proven that being grateful brings overall well being, peace and calm to us. It is one of the healthiest emotions and one that is the simplest reassuring acts we can have for ourselves. A simple act of recording a few things we are grateful for daily, can bring satisfaction in ourselves and that feeling of feeling enough and “full”.

In the consumerism era, the feeling of having “enough” is never reached. The feeling of scarcity and not having enough is what keeps it alive and thriving. Being grateful is what helps us start on the path of feeling content with “what is” and “what isn't”.

The Usual Suspects

Think about it. Health is the greatest blessing and no amount of money can help you if you have an incurable disease. Good natured children, loving family, friends that care for you, a job to go to, a roof over your head, and the list goes on.

If life gives you things to complain about, it also balances it with things that you need to be grateful about. However, these are the usual suspects that you can count in your gratitude journal.

The real reason I am writing this article, is because I was recently asked what I was grateful for. I was quick to say ‘everyone’, implying the people around me (which are not many I must say other than my family), an answer that was as spontaneous as it could be. But then I reflected on it in the aftermath. I did not say ‘everything’; I said ‘everyone’. I was humbled.

We are so quick to move on to the next goal or challenge that we forget to thank the ones that helped us get where we are now. The ones who stood by you, when times were tough. The ones who made you believe in yourself, when you had self-doubt. The ones who raised you up, when your spirits were low. The ones who scolded you to get you on the right path. The ones who watched out for you, when you were careless. The ones who cheered for you, when everyone thought you were a joke. The ones who only smiled at your mistakes and lifted you from depths of misery. They could be parents, partners, friends, siblings, strangers, colleagues or even managers that played a purpose that redefined you and got you started on the path again.

But we are sadly rushing through life, which has a timer attached to it. Our time is limited here so make the most of it. I think we owe ourselves something. Sometimes we should stop chasing the things we think will bring us happiness and turn around, and see who is chasing our station? It is truly humbling to witness that and feel instant gratitude for the journey you have completed so far.

Surprise Addition - Hurt

I also want to touch another sore point. How can you be grateful for feelings of loneliness, sadness, hurt and pain? How can one be thankful for the adversity that comes your way or people who hurt you and make you feel small? How do you determine white from black or day from night?

The list is endless and the question is innate to most of us.

It is when you understand the bad times that you appreciate the good days. There is a lesson in the people who are nasty to us, who belittle us, the ones who demean us, pull us down, and ridicule us and hurt us. It is not easy to comprehend that sad situations can have a benefit for us. But they do.

We are being taught to become better and who we are meant to be. And we need to step out of our cocoons and start appreciating the grand design. That is when you are truly grateful, in my diary.

But my answer to all that was what my mother taught me at a very young age. She said

“Birds sing on bad days too”. No matter how dire the circumstances, she always had the firm belief that “things could be worse and they are not. Chin up and move on”.

That brought an instant relief within, and a sense of peace that things are not as bad as we imagine. It almost every time replaced my fears and expectations, with a feeling of abundance. Things were not scarce for us, and we had more than we needed. I recently learnt that they have a term for this belief - “inverse gratitude”. You think of how bad things could be in a worse situation than you are, and are humbled in moments.

Being grateful for the Bad

Appreciate the lessons being taught. Be grateful for the pain and suffering. It will help you appreciate the good that already is. It will bring patience, acceptance, humility and peace. There are grand gifts being given for being thankful. It is not always in the form you want to see them and that is why you reject them. Eventually, this time will leave you and the sun will shine again, and you will have changed for the better.

The world keeps moving, even when to us things seem the worst they could ever be. But that is the subtle message that is being given to us. Be grateful no matter what. I think we genuinely understand the value of being grateful when we appreciate the bad that happens in life, when we have met the bad people. That is when you really have started seeing the world as it is, than, through your tinted glass. 

Your personal Key to Joy - Perspective

On a side note, this does not mean that you stop pursuing your goals. You must be grateful for life’s opportunities that present themselves to you, with an eye on the horizon of where you want to go.

It is that simple truth that we need to inculcate and try looking beyond us and see the burdens we do not carry. Gratitude is the key to unlocking your joy within. When you start on the path of mindful gratefulness, you will see that confusion clears, wisdom appears and contentment lays the road map for you to be happier about where you are and where you want to be.

The strange thing is that you carry this key with you all the time. You do not need things to bring it out. You just need to take time and broaden your horizon to what is. But you cannot be grateful, unless you calibrate your thinking towards life. Here are a few suggestions.

·       The opportunity to be More or be Less. Your choice

Think of it like this. Life is a series of marathons and opportunities are like coaches, prepping you up for the next big race. It is in your hands whether to embrace an opportunity or not. They will keep presenting themselves to you and all you need to ask yourself is “What am I being taught today?”. Once you can see moments in life building to your development, you will be thanking life. But if you see it as mere unnecessary aspects, you have missed the whole point altogether and will be a victim of “complaining and complacency”. You will not be humbled enough to be grateful for this perfect teacher. It is at the end of the day, your choice. To just rush through life, or stop and smell the roses every step of the way. 

·       Enough is a Feast

Say to yourself, you need to firmly understand that you have enough right now. Take time to thank life for all that you have now. It will instill peace in chaos, clarity in confusion and open you to wisdom. Having enough is now. If you are still having trouble seeing that, then look in the past at where you were before and how far you have come now. You will feel humbled for how life has groomed you for where you are today. Be thankful and see how things escalate for you with good energy within you.

·       The Gratitude Journal

I am a big proponent of the gratitude journal and have one myself. It instantly brings clarity and mindfulness to what you truly have. In the craziness of life, writing 2 or 3 things you are grateful for daily, is a true gift you can give yourself. From seeing the smile of your child, to the warmth of a home or the joy of eating your favorite meal. There is so much to be thankful for and this will in turn, give you the peace now that you are banking for in the future. Our short term memories forget these gifts and it is healthy to go through this journal from time to time, to calibrate yourself positively when life brings challenges your way.

·       The moment is yours - Conquer

Being grateful for every moment cannot only change you, but the world around you. Enjoy the opportunities that present themselves to you or rise to them when they come in disguises of setbacks. You could be learning patience through difficulties and maturity in chaos. And in times, when you cannot rise and do fail miserably. Do not worry. Another opportunity will present itself to you. The cycle keeps moving but when you are thankful for this wise teacher, the learning will be faster and the agony lesser. You will approach everything from a core of being whole and open to learning.

I think one of the greatest irony of life is that, we assign happiness for the future. This future is a dreamland that we may never reach. It is a fantasy, and like a mirage, lures us and keeps making us rush through life, without stopping to think and wonder.

I always say, “We have what we want. But we want what we do not need”.

What is this rat race for really?

It is when we stop, and mindfully appreciate the blessings around us, no matter how imperfect they are, they will be perfect for someone less lucky than you. The ones who are not sure of where their next meal will come from or if they will find a roof to sleep under tonight. Think about it. Feel their despair and be humbled. Ask yourself, do you really have to live in such fear and anxiety? Do you not have more than you need?

True contentment can only arise when you start counting your blessings and your hours of service to others, instead of your bank account savings or number of cars in your driveway. Imagine yourself, 40 years from now, when you are tired and weary, and are looking back at your life lived. I hope you will have a gentle smile, a twinkle in your eye and a sense of relief for all that you had been blessed with and how you made a difference for others who did not have as much. That image should be pasted at the back of your mind. That picture really is the silent teacher. That is what life’s really about. Nothing more and nothing less.

Reminds me of a poem penned by Patricia Fleming in The True Meaning of Life that touched me and articulates the essence of life and how we are missing the bigger picture, by inundating ourselves with trivial things.

The years have passed by,

In the blink of an eye,

Moments of sadness,

And joy have flown by.

People I loved,

Have come and have gone,

But the world never stopped,

And we all carried on.

And now with old age,

It's become very clear,

Things I once found important,

Were not why I was here.

And how many things,

That I managed to buy,

Were never what made me,

Feel better inside.

And the worries and fears,

That plagued me each day,

In the end of it all,

Would just fade away.

But how much I reached out,

To others when needed,

Would be the true measure,

Of how I succeeded.

And how much I shared,

Of my soul and my heart,

Would ultimately be,

What set me apart.

And what's really important,

Is my opinion of me,

And whether or not,

I'm the best I can be.

And how much more kindness,

And love I can show,

Before the Lord tells me,

It's my time to go.

The most precious possession that you have is the gift of Today. Nothing else matters more than how you use this gift. We do not know if we will receive the gift of Tomorrow, but we do have Today.

People say you should keep a 365 day journal. In this special journal, you have to do something very simple. For every worry or fear that pops in your head, jot down two blessings, no matter how insignificant. Your life will change and you will begin the path towards contentment.

But I think you should keep a different journal. A Day Journal. The 86,400 Journal - that includes 86,400 seconds. Remember, life does not wait for anyone or anything. Begin your journey renewed today because today is all you have. If you spend it being grateful, that to me is a day well spent.

Start your day journal before your time runs out. Accept and say, “I have enough and more”. That is all the time you have today and its already diminishing as you read this. 86,400 seconds: Now counting...