80% of Singles Will NOT Go on One Date in 2017

I became a professional matchmaker in 2009 and since then, there have been few voices in the love industry more optimistic than mine. While my stance on the importance of companionship and marriage remain unchanged, it’s become clear that “dating” as we traditionally understand it, has forever changed.

All trends suggest a significant decrease in dating around the world. This, compounded by research that suggests the average single doesn’t go on one date in a year, will result in what I believe to be the most significant drop in the percentage of people who date ever seen in modern history. I believe 80% of singles will not go on one date in 2017. There are five factors driving the global dating decline:

1) Dating App Analysis Paralysis

There are literally thousands of mobile dating apps and websites, so many that for any niche or abstract interest you can think of, there is most likely a dating site for it. With virtually millions of singles ready to connect, you would think dating should increase. The issue, however, is in that perceived pool of daters, the fact that users of these sites and apps believe there is an endless number of options creates a dangerous psychological effect best described in psychologist's Barry Schwartz’s book Paradox of Choice. Schwartz argues that more is actually less and when presented with more options, we derive less satisfaction and happiness. Moreover, such abundant options often cause an analysis paralysis where we over-analyze or over-think a situation so that a decision or action is never taken. This is precisely what’s happening with dating apps and sites today. Users have what they believe are so many options that they rarely connect with the options they do have (and when they do connect, have little satisfaction with their choices).

2) Cheapening of Sex

Never in our lifetime has sex been so easy to come by and at the same time valued so little. At the touch of a mobile phone, you can order anything from pornography to a prostitute. If the cost of the former is too high, one of the thousands of “hook-up” apps can deliver you effortless free sex within moments. Just 15 years ago, sex was often the result of effort put forth through courting and committed dating. Today, sex is often expected before dating even begins. As so many people have told me “why date when I can remain single and get sex whenever I want it.”  

3) Drop in Value of Marriage

The most alarming statistic foreshadowing the decline of dating comes from a 2014 Pew Research survey that found 67% of millennials no longer see value in getting married. This is an incredibly sobering figure for marriage advocates. Once someone no longer believes they should put effort towards marriage, the prerequisite action of dating becomes no longer necessary. 

4) No One Knows What “Dating” Means Anymore

Ask 10 people to define what dating means and you’ll get 10 different answers. I asked this question recently to my social media community and received a wide range of responses from “just hanging out” to “it’s like a job interview” to “it means going somewhere exciting.” The fact that there are so many disparate opinions of the word “dating” suggests it no longer has real meaning. For the record, my definition of dating: is an activity two people participate in to either determine if there is serious romantic interest or to further already established serious romantic interest.   

5) Lack of Belief

Through my interactions with singles as clients, at events, and through social media communication, I’ve witnessed a significant shift in belief over the years. When I originally began my career in the love industry 8 years ago, the questions I heard mostly focused on “where” or “how” to find a husband or wife. However, over recent years, the overwhelming most popular question from both women and men focuses on “if" there are any good men or women left. This may seem subtle, but significance can be found in the mindset behind the question. Our belief becomes our reality. If you’re single and doubt a romantic partner exists, you don’t have any motivation to pursue love, let alone go on a date.  

This article is part of the LinkedIn Top Voices list, a collection of the must-read writers of the year. Check out more #BigIdeas2017 here.