8 Words That Can Change Your Life (Part 3)

The story below is Part 3 of Chapter 2 from an unpublished book by Dale Carnegie. Part 2 is here. Part 4 coming soon :)

Part 3:

Let me illustrate how this technique of conquering fear works in a spot that you dread - the dentist's chair.

First let me show you the wrong way to do it - and then the right way. A few years ago, I had a tooth extracted under the influence of gas. Just as I was drifting to sleep, the nurse opened my eyelids to see if I was unconscious. I was alarmed; afraid that the dentist might pull my tooth while I was still conscious. So to show him I was awake, I began waving my hand vigorously. The dentist told me afterwards that he had to extract my tooth with that arm waving back and forth with the force of a mechanical shuttle. He grabbed my arm and tried to stop it but couldn't.

When he told me that, I was ashamed. I said, to myself, "You teach people to be courageous. Why not practice what you preach?"

So when a few years later I had to have another tooth pulled, here what I did. I knew my problem was to keep from thinking thoughts of fear. Did I say, "I am not going think of fear"? No. Merely saying that would force me to think of fear. You can't destroy negative thoughts of fear by fighting them. You can destroy them only by thinking - of something positive.

So I followed the advice of Epicurus and forced myself to think thoughts of courage, thoughts of gratitude, thoughts of happiness.

How did I force myself to do it? This way: as I walked down the street to the dentist's office, I kept thinking how fortunate I was. I kept repeating to myself, "Suppose I had been born a hundred years ago when there was no gas. Imagine how a man had to suffer in those days! Thank God for gas. This is going to be wonderful. It won't hurt me. It will stop all pain. Thank God for gas!"

When I went into the dentist's reception room, I knew that it was difficult to think of two things at the same time, so I decided to focus my mind on something that I wanted - relaxation. I knew that when I was concentrating on thoughts of relaxation, I couldn't possibly think thoughts of fear. I also knew that no one can be very frightened when he is physically relaxed, so I let every taut muscle in my body soften. . .

As soon as I began breathing the gas, I naturally wanted to get my mind off it; so I tried to see how much of Lincoln's Gettysburg address I could repeat to myself before I became unconscious. The dentist told me afterwards that when I came out from under the gas, I was repeating aloud: "We cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow. . .”

That dentist must have been amazed.

But I gained my end. I kept myself from thinking thoughts I didn't want by forcing myself to think thoughts I did want.

Jessica Dragonette, beloved singing star of radio, told me she used that same technique to conquer her fear of audiences and microphones. Yes, she confessed that after eleven years of broadcasting, she still fights mike fright before each broadcast. How does she fight it?

"I never permit myself to think of fear for one second," she said. "I crowd out all thoughts of fear and worry by substituting thoughts of confidence and courage. Before I sing either on the concert stage or before the microphone, I say to myself over and over: I love to do what I am doing! I have confidence and courage! I am perfectly poised because I am rested and fully prepared to perform! I want to sing my best to this wonderful audience waiting to hear me! I can do it and I am going to give them the best performance of my life!

"When I broadcast I picture people listening to me and telling me how much they are enjoying my singing. These energizing thoughts of courage and confidence give me a tremendous lift."

Gene Tunney told me the same thing. He said that while he was training for his first fight with Jack Dempsey, he was so terrified that he awakened one night and found his bed shaking. He had had a dream and he was so frightened that his body trembled and shook.

"Even in my sleep," he said, "I had visions of myself being beaten into a bloody mass by Jack Dempsey's terrifying punches. I had been devouring the newspapers every day and they all prophesied that I would go down like a slaughtered ox before Jack's ferocious attack. I knew right then that I had already lost that fight in my mind. And I knew that I would probably lose in the ring too unless I regained my confidence. I knew that courage could be developed just as you can develop your muscles. So I set about immediately, with all the determination I possessed, to conquer my fear.

"I quit looking at the papers. I quit thinking of Jack's killing punches. I avoided the thoughts that were breeding this paralyzing fear and began thinking of my own advantages, of my long period of careful training. I had spent many hours out in the woods, skipping rope, and running backwards so I could move swiftly in all directions, and box skillfully.

"I reminded myself of my intimate knowledge of Jack's fighting technique - a knowledge I had gained by studying over and over the movie films of his previous fights. I reminded myself of my ring triumphs in the past. In other words, I deliberately filled my mind with heart-warming thoughts of courage and self-confidence to drive out the thoughts of fear."

Gene Tunney used the best of all possible ways to get rid of fear thoughts. But this technique isn't new. Epicurus taught it under a vine and fig tree in Athens 300 years before Christ was born. He said, "The only way you can drive out a thought that you don't want is by concentrating on another thought to take its place."

Is the ability to do this important? Important? It is hardly possible to imagine anything more important. If the average person used that technique to control their thoughts, they would probably increase their income, their popularity, improve their health, and maybe double their happiness.

Part 4 coming soon :)

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