8 Ways to Develop Your Personal Power

If you're as old as I am, you may remember the superhero Mighty Mouse, a yellow-jumpsuit-clad mouse with a red cape, who, while only a tiny, small creature, could transform himself into a human-size superhero and rescue those in danger. As a little girl, I thought Mighty Mouse was the greatest. How could someone so small accomplish such huge feats of goodwill and justice? I'd run through the house with an old towel clothes-pinned around my shoulders, one hand on my hip and one fist in the air, charging forward to save those in need. I even had a Mighty Mouse doll.?If you do recall the cartoon, you now?probably now have the?theme song?stuck in your head: "Mighty Mouse is on the way, he has come to save the day!" And that's good, because we all need a reminder from time to time of our own superhero powers.

“So few people listen to their own voice because they are taught not to trust it. We are encouraged to adopt others’ ideas, thoughts, beliefs, all the while never developing and believing in our own. We inevitably give up our personal power in favor of one less than our own.” ―?Tripsy South

Personal power is a competency of emotional intelligence. Author Lev Raphael defines it as being secure and confident inside yourself.? [https://www.azquotes.com/quote/668802]?Elaine Welterroth, of Masterclass, defines it as "the ability to be winsome and influence the outcome of events."[https://www.masterclass.com/articles/personal-power]?Here at the?Institute, we define it as having a sense of self-confidence: possessing an inner knowledge that you can live the life you choose.

Those who are strong in personal power know their strengths and limitations, viewing the latter as 'areas of growth'. They embrace learning and development. They believe they can not only set the direction of their lives, but know they have the ability (whether it be talent, skills, determination, or resources) to get the things they want and need. It is clear to them what they have control over -- and what they do not have control over. They view mistakes as avenues of learning. They have an inner knowing that they are resilient, that they can handle tough times, and will find a way through. They?are clear?on their values and can 'speak their truth' in a clear, concise manner. They see themselves as successful, resourceful, and capable.

Does this sound like you?

On the other hand, those who struggle with personal power may be a little muddled on their personal values and convictions. When called upon, they may have a tough time standing up for themselves, lacking confidence in their own ideas and judgments. They tend to be conflict avoiders, people pleasers,?and would rather deal with the consequences of unresolved conflict than speak their truth, thinking that they are keeping the peace (though often this methodology causes even more conflict!) They can tend to keep conversations shallow to avoid digging into the deeper issues. They view mistakes as character flaws, and permanent. Some have a tendency to shy away from changes and new experiences,?exhibiting a fear of failure. They often feel like their circumstances or other people are to blame for their unhappiness, and feel powerless to make changes. They embrace a fixed mindset instead of a growth mindset. They may be quick to give in when times get tough, and lack resilience.

If any of these feel?familiar, no need to fret. All emotional intelligence competencies can be learned and developed,?even if your current skill set feels mouse-sized.

"The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." ― Alice Walker

Here are?8?ways?to develop your personal power, to illuminate the superhero inside of you:

• REFLECT?on past accomplishments. Write the down and celebrate them, remembering how you felt when you were successful.?Have you ever gotten through a tough time in your life? (Of course you have). Remind yourself of how you found your way through. If you did it once, you can do it again. The skills you used to tackle previous challenges may be just what you need to get through this one.
• RELEASE?the negative self-talk, the stories in your head that you're not good enough, that you 'always' fail, that you won't succeed. A therapist or counselor may be helpful to help you sort through any childhood trauma which may be causing these unhealthy negative conversations.
• RECOUNT?the things you are good at, and the things about you which are valued. If you're not sure, ask a beloved friend or family member, or a close colleague.?An Emotional Intelligence 360 Assessment?may provide the insights you need?into the strengths others notice about you. Others often see our best, even when we don't.?
• RECONSTRUCT?your life to include new experiences. Seek out?fresh opportunities and step out of your comfort zone. Start small -- it could be as simple as taking a weekend drive up a new road, sitting in a different section at church, or tasting a new food item at a restaurant. Work your way toward building a new friendship, taking a class to learn a new skill, or saying yes to a challenging work assignment.
• REDO?situations which didn't work well the first time, instead of giving up or quitting. Ask for and give yourself a?do-over?when you mess up. We all make mistakes. Instead of berating yourself for errors, viewing them (and yourself) as a failure, see what you can learn and try again (this time equipped with the knowledge of what didn't work the first time!)
• RESEARCH?and learn?what you need to learn. Sometimes a lack personal power is simply due to not having enough knowledge or understanding of a subject. Pick a topic in which you lack confidence and learn everything you can. Study those who are good at it and talk to those who are experts.
• REACH?out to those who exhibit strong personal power. Notice their self-talk, how they behave, especially when they face challenges. Ask them to mentor you or to spend time sharing their insights with you.
• REFRESH?your spirit by doing things which produce positive emotions. Positivity can strengthen your mindset and inner-knowing that you are able and capable.?Invest in self-care,?spending time to do the?activities which help you relax and rejuvenate. Tend to your physical, mental, and emotional health as well.

Enlisting the help of a?Certified Social and Emotional Intelligence Coach?is a great way to not only assess?your strengths and areas of growth, but also to develop a plan to move forward toward more personal power.

"Our authentic power is found in our truth. This is the place that shows us how to give what is so very good about ourselves." ― Jeanne McElvaney