8 Ways To Deal With Conflict In The Workplace
Evan Tzivanakis
Business Trainer, Exec Coach & Facilitator to Corporate Managers & SME Owners / 15 years of global experience / University Adjunct Professor / Author of "Leading in VUCA Times" / Enablement Manager
Executives and managers often struggle with conflicts at work.
Sometimes these conflicts are appropriate, based on tensions that naturally exist between different functions and the need for collaboration.
What is the leader doing to tolerate, or even enable, this situation?
What roles, structures, and incentives might be generating these conflicts?
How can the leader help people become more aware of and skilled at resolving conflict?
What does the leader have to do to create a culture that allows productive conflict but doesn’t let things deteriorate into unproductive situations?
What if you are managing a team that has many conflicts?
What are you doing, or not doing, to allow these conflicts to happen?
How can you get involved to set expectations about the tone of the team?
How might you have to change roles and responsibilities?
How can you coach team members to resolve their own conflicts?
If you are a manager and willing to resolve conflict, I recommend you follow along these lines:
1) Understand the other person’s position.
What is their point of view about the conflict?
What motivates them in this situation?
What are the incentives and pressures that will make this person willing to give ground?
What are the reasons that might appeal to them?
What information does your client need to find out about their position, and whom can they ask?
What else about the other person’s world is important to know?
2) Understand your position.
What is the end game?
What would it look like if the conflict were resolved?
Are you willing to be flexible?
What are you not willing to compromise?
What requests can you make of the other person?
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Where do you have to amend past incidents that caused friction and perhaps resentment?
Remember that if you are not willing to change anything then the conflict will continue.
3) Evaluate each party’s styles.
Sometimes conflicts emerge when two people have very different styles.
How can you adapt to the way the other person thinks, speaks, or behaves?
For instance, suppose that you focus on technology and cutting-edge concepts when making decisions, but the other person focuses on financial performance.
Are you considering how the other person is thinking about the situation and how they might adapt to that approach?
Similarly, if the other person speaks quickly and gets to the bottom line but you think methodically and need to talk things out in detail, perhaps you can learn to adapt more to the other person’s communication style.
4) Find common ground.
What do both parties have in common?
What are their mutual goals?
What are their shared values?
Where do they overlap in their vision for what’s possible for their organizations?
How does this common ground provide openings to resolve the conflict?
5) There are many ways to approach someone to resolve the conflict:
6) Anticipate objections that the other person will raise and how to handle them.
7) Consider what might go wrong and how you can excuse yourself from the meeting before things spiral downhill.
If new information emerges or the other person gets angry, the smartest strategy is to take a break, reconsider the approach, and reconvene after everyone has cooled down.
What will you do if the meeting starts to go poorly, and they can’t think of a way to get it going again?
Also think about what not to say because the other person will react poorly, as well as how you will keep your own cool if the other person says or does something that is inflammatory.
8) Role-play, if appropriate.
Once again, role-play can serve as an important tool to help you prepare for a high-stakes meeting with the other party.
If you would like help with resolving conflict within your company or department as a leader, check out my leadership coaching services.