8 Ways to Build Your Self-Confidence

I believe self-confidence is one of the most important keys to success.

When you are confident you can do a lot of things. People who lack self-confidence will not go after what they want because they are not confident about themselves, and will then live with regrets. I know someone who will not talk to girls he finds attractive because he’s afraid of possible rejection. He told me if a girl says no to him, it will kill his self-esteem and I told him to look at it as a game. If one girl says no, keep asking until you get a yes from another girl because not every girl is going to like you, just like not every girl you like.

See what a lack of self-confidence can cause? If he was confident, he wouldn’t think so highly of the answer “No”. We all will receive the answer NO! at some point in our lives and we all will receive the answer YES! At some points in our lives as well. But the question now is which answer are you going to let control your life.? At all, “No” is just a word with two letters and if you switch the letters it become “ON” as in carry on, keep on, go on, etc. So don’t let “No” interrupt you from getting to “Yes” and don’t let “No” kill your self-confidence.

Here are some tips on how you can build your self-confidence. Pick and use any of these tips that applies to you. These tips work for me; it might work for you as well but in case it doesn’t work, then I apologize for making you read it.

Please recommend this article to someone else, it might help them. And if you are a teacher or a school principal I highly recommend you pass this on to your students. Also Parents, pass this on to your sons/daughters. It will help them.

(1) Think positive and not negative.

In my buddy’s example, if the girl says no, it’s not because you are ugly, but because she just doesn’t see herself with you or she doesn’t feel there is a connection. And even if you think you are ugly, there must be someone somewhere that finds you handsome or beautiful no matter how ugly. How many time have we seen a girl with a guy or a guy with a girl and we think to ourselves “wow what did she see in him or what did he see in her?” that’s to show you that there is always someone somewhere that will find you attractive no matter how bad/ugly you may think of yourself. So learn to think positively. 

(2) Dress very nicely in a way that gives you confidence when you walk into a place filled with people.

An average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day and 80% of those thoughts are negative. So because of this when we walk into a room filled with other people, most of us worry about how we look or what people will think. Thus, when you dress well and feel good about yourself, that’s one thought off the list of things to worry about. And well doesn’t mean you need to wear expensive stuff but instead wear things that complement your looks and your skin: find something that looks good on you even if you buy it at a dollar store or Walmart. As long as it looks good on you and you feel great/beautiful/handsome and sexy wearing it.

(3) Do the things that you love and you are good at.

When you do the things that you love and are good at, you will be happy doing it and won't suck at it. Not sucking at something makes you feel good. Because we have been taught to hate failure, we often feel bad when we fail and this can lead to low self-esteem. For this reason, it makes sense to do the things that you are good at and enjoy doing: that way you will succeed more, and succeeding more often will increase your self-esteem. And even if you fail once, you will dust yourself up pretty quickly and get going again. For example, I don't play basketball because I know I'm not good at it and even if I do it just for fun, I don't want to play against someone that is very good at it: that will make me feel bad when I see him keep winning and while I keep losing. But I love speaking. so I am completely happy participating in presentations because that will give me confidence, and even if I see someone doing better than me in speaking, I will strive to be like them – or even better than them – because I love speaking.

(4) Maintain good posture when walking, standing or sitting. 

Even if you don't feel confident or comfortable about it, keep doing it: eventually you will get more comfortable with it. Because people will judge you based on that and think you are not confident if your posture doesn’t show it and that can further kill your self-esteem. But when you walk into a room with confidence even when you are not, people will think you are confident and that can further make you more confident. I know it sounds ridiculous, but trust me, it works. There are days where I didn’t feel confident walking into a room but I forced myself to maintain a confident posture and that really helped me stayed confident. You may ask, how would you know what postures gives you confident? You can research them online (Google, YouTube, etc.). For me I try to always walk straight with my chest out and maintain good eye contact when needed, as well as sitting with confidence. And when I find myself losing that confidence I talk myself back into it by reassuring myself that the person or people I’m talking to or about to talk to are humans and are just as afraid as I am too. So why be afraid of them? 

(5) Read more. i.e. increase your knowledge.

Read anything whether for pleasure or for a purpose. This will increase your confidence because you will be more knowledgeable: when you are more knowledgeable you won't feel stupid or dumb. Don’t worry even if people think you are a geek/nerd. 

Get knowledgeable about the city or the place/area in which you live; that way if someone asks you a question, such as directions, you will be able to answer. And that will make you feel good because you were able to provide help, and that person will see that you know your city/area well. You might feel a little bad if you can't help someone especially when you know you should be able to. So increase your confidence with knowledge. 

Your confidence drops when you walk into a room filled with the people that you consider knowledgeable and you don't think you are knowledgeable enough; because you are afraid they might ask you a question that you won’t be able to answer. But when you read more, and get more knowledge, you will walk into a room with confidence and not be afraid of anybody or any questions. You will also grow more and better relationships with people because you will have a lot to talk about without sitting awkwardly in silence. Especially when you are on a date (wink wink) the girl/guy won’t find you boring.

(6) Work on your physical look if that makes you feel uncomfortable: I.e. exercise/workout to lose weight if you are not comfortable with your weight or try to gain weight if you want to have more skin. Example, I use to weigh barely 120 lbs but now I weigh over 170 lbs all muscles. So anything is possible. Besides, people that workout regularly grow more confidence because they feel healthy and sexy. But if you are comfortable with your looks, then that’s fine. I do push-ups every day before I take my shower, especially if it’s a day that I am going to a special event. That makes me feel more fit and sexy when I put on that special outfit, (wink wink) it increases my confidence level. 

(7) Don't overthink if you fail or when something is not going right: Overthinking will only make things worse and you will begin to doubt yourself and think you are not good enough or that something is wrong with you. So if you find yourself overthinking stuff, take a break and do something to take your mind off that. Watch a funny movie, watch motivational videos on YouTube, go hangout with friends, call a friend and have a conversation, go workout or take a walk. This will help you regroup.

(8) Know your weakness or what you are bad at and admit it: i.e. talk about your weakness so that no one will feel the need to talk about it just to make you feel bad. We often hate when people mention what we are insecure about, so we have to learn to embrace that weakness by talking about it and not avoiding it. Once you admit your shortcomings, you have neutralized the pain that may come from it when people try to make you feel bad. I always admit that I'm not good at math, so even if someone feels they can make me feel bad, they can't because I already talked about it, so now they can't hurt me with it and I don’t feel bad about it. because I know we are all good at different things in life. I may not be good with math but I’m good at a lot of other things. Math is just not my calling lol

Often times, people try to use that which they think is your weakness to get to you, but once you talk about it they can't use that anymore. For me I already know I'm not the tallest guy in the room and I don’t care when someone talks about it. I'm almost always the most dressed guy with a good physic. So that's gives me confidence. Besides, we can’t all be the same heights and sizes in the world: that would make this world a boring place lol. So for me that’s nothing, but some people may see that as a weakness and try to point it out hoping it will hurt you.

 I have a lot of strengths, things that I’m great at that gives me power stronger than my weakness. Besides, we all have weaknesses in life. No matter how beautiful or handsome someone may look, they have something they are insecure about, and we can only override that insecurity when we face it, admit it, and then embrace it. So never be afraid of facing your weakness/insecurity. Admit it, neutralized it and move it. And if you find yourself thinking about it, remind yourself that everyone else does as well. That will help you to embrace yours.