8 Ways to Become More Approachable in 2024
At Brivia we work with leaders from across the globe and have surveyed over 10,000 people on what makes for great leadership. The development of meaningful and valuable relationships is a crucial ingredient to great leadership, and these relationships cannot be developed and maintained without consistently working at being approachable. What we often don’t recognize is that the absence approachability is in fact the single most common cause of unnecessary stress, conflict, and misunderstandings. By attending to our approachability as leaders, we go a long way to eliminating or mitigating the types of conflict that can undermine our goals as leaders.??
We can all likely name a few people who could use some work on their approachability. That said, we are all far less approachable than we think we are — we rarely have an accurate assessment of how our staff and colleagues see us. While we can’t force change in others, we can take an honest look at our own efforts to determine where we can make changes as we enter the new year. Everyone will have their own unique requirements for what they need to feel safe and comfortable in approaching us, however there are eight things we can do right now to foster honest, straightforward communication and meaningful relationships with our teams.??
This might seem trite, but it’s both effective and relatively effortless. People will be less likely to approach you with problems, ideas, or feedback if you have a negative or pessimistic attitude. Create an environment of comfort for your team by focusing on the positive and you’ll find them more open with you. This can be done as easily as smiling at people when you walk into work, saying please and thank you when you give directives, or saying yes more than no. Looking at challenges as opportunities rather than threats will create a positive environment in which people feel more comfortable working with you and more apt to strengthen the relationship they have with you.??
When your feedback is always negative or critical — that is, you fail to comment on your team members’ strengths — people will be less likely to not only approach you but take what you say seriously. When you notice others’ strengths it aids in their growth, makes them feel seen, and adds value to their contributions to your workplace. Acknowledge and show appreciation for your team’s successes, accomplishments, and efforts by sharing the impact they’ve had on you and your organization’s goals and mission, and you’ll find that people are far more likely to approach you.??
People are more likely to approach those they can trust, and being predictable — that is, your team knows that when they do approach you, you’ll be present, confidential, and open to hearing what they have to say — is a simple way to build that trust. When your staff come to you, give them your full attention, removing distractions, maintaining eye contact, and offering verbal cues that you’re paying attention and understand them. When people know what to expect from you, they’re more likely to come to you.??
Allowing others to speak and share their perspective, experiences, and ideas when they approach you goes a long way toward strengthening your relationship. Rather than offering up responses, giving advice, or sharing your own concerns too quickly, allow for silences to ensure that the other person has had the time they need to explain their issue to you fully and express their perspective wholly. Avoid responding with “I know how you feel” — this can quickly feel dismissive to the person on the receiving end. And if you find yourself talking more than them, that is a sign you’re likely not listening enough and a cue to stay silent or ask a question to prompt them to tell you more.??
This can be challenging, but it is a crucial step toward becoming the approachable leader who fosters trust and open communication among their team. Being non-judgmental doesn’t mean that you must always agree with what the other person says, but rather that you make a concerted effort to stay open and that you are accepting and understanding of the other person’s perspective or ideas. Being non-judgmental simply means you’re doing what you can to accept and understand their experience as real, legitimate, and valued. This lowers the possibility for guilt, blame, and shame, and ultimately makes others more likely to come to you with new ideas, problems, or concerns.??
领英推荐
We can’t expect our teams to be open to our feedback and criticism if we aren’t also open to the same feedback and criticism ourselves. When we respond defensively or are reactive in the face of negative feedback, the chances that people will continue to share feedback with us plummets. And while it may sting to hear critical feedback, it is ultimately invaluable to our own growth and evolution as leaders. After all, we don’t always have to be right, and being willing to admit to our mistakes or take accountability when we are wrong shows vulnerability, and that vulnerability begets the same in our teams. The more we are open and willing to genuinely apologize when it’s necessary, the more we will see the same with those around us, and the fewer unnecessary conflicts and stress will arise in our workplaces.??
When we do have to share critical feedback with our staff, the key to ensuring that feedback is heard and appreciated is to focus on the problem at hand — the behaviour — rather than the person at the root of the problem. It is crucial that we are always working to preserve the person, keeping our teams psychologically intact. By separating the person from the problem, we destigmatize the problem and preserve the person’s dignity and integrity, making them more open to learning and approaching us when they have a concern.??
While we may not immediately realize it, the word “but” has the tendency to negate the words and meaning that came before it, creating the sense that the positive things we’ve just said have been minimized. Ultimately, this can feel dismissive and even underhanded to the person on the receiving end. For example, in a phrase like “Thanks for coming in early today, Mark, but I need you to stay late today to finish this report” the but negates the positive appreciation for Mark having come in early and could easily leave him feeling as though his contributions and efforts aren’t valued. Instead, replace “but” with “and” or a simple pause. It’s a small word with a big impact, so it’s important to be mindful of its effect.??
These eight tactics will be effective for most people, however the best way to ensure that you’re approachable to your team is to simply ask them about their approachability currency. That is, what behaviours do you need to consider or be aware of to increase comfort, safety, and trust among your people? Being mindful of how you’re affecting your team on this level is key to fostering a workplace environment of open, honest communication and strong working relationships.?
#LeadershipApproachability #PositiveLeadership #EffectiveCommunication #TeamEngagement #ConstructiveFeedback?
Stephen de Groot is President and CoFounder at Brivia. He is the author of Responsive Leadership (SAGE, 2016) and Getting to Better: A New Model for Elevating Human Potential at Work and in Life, (Spring 2024). To learn more about Stephen, his work and the Brivia approach click HERE.?
?
?