8. Transform Your Leadership Impact: How Empathic Skills Create Lasting Change

"My increased ability to be self-aware and self-reflective created a buffer between my emotions and my reactions, so I could really think about how I wanted to be as a person and how I wanted to react in a situation."

These words from Emily, a senior marine conservation leader completing The Empathic Leader course, capture the essence of transformative leadership: it starts with inner awareness and ripples outward to create lasting change.

Emily works to transform environmental and social systems, and she understands what truly influences people:

"At the end of the day, real change comes from deep, meaningful conversations."

From Reaction to Response: A Leader's Journey

Emily came to me seeking tools for her conservation work, where challenging conversations are inevitable and in fact are the way that the outcomes sought happen.

"I don't do well with difficult conversations," Emily admitted, "and in the kind of work that I'm in, difficult conversations are the bread and butter of the work. You're constantly with different types of people talking to them about very intense subjects that can be quite polarising."

Through the course, I watched Emily work incredibly hard – questioning her assumptions, revisiting past conversations, preparing for new ones. Growing her ability to get in touch with herself until getting what I call crystal clarity of what's going on inside her. In our one-to-one coaching sessions where we tailored the course tools to her specific situation, she showed remarkable courage to keep looking at herself and her behaviour with humility and an open mind, working to learn to do things differently, especially in challenging situations.

Why do they call it "soft skills"? Emily's need to transform led her inner change and drove her towards mastering what other leaders only dream of: her communication, the way she approached people, and how she wove their upset into positive steps forward from understanding their true needs (which often they didn't even understand themselves!).

The Power of Self-Awareness in Leadership

"It's been a profoundly transformational journey," Emily reflects. "What I learned was an ability to be more self-aware, to reflect more deeply, to understand what I was feeling, which sounds like a very simple concept, but it's actually not something that we are taught to do, and to understand the needs behind those feelings."

This deeper awareness created unexpected changes in her leadership. The "buffer" Emily mentions is actually a brain-based shift I intentionally promote in the course. Through specific practices, leaders develop stronger neural pathways for emotional regulation and responding consciously rather than reacting habitually or automatically. I've designed The Empathic Leader course specifically for this kind of deep, sustainable change, integrating neuroscience, Nonviolent Communication, and positive psychology.

I have made it my mission to help leaders develop key brain-based abilities that enhance their personal and professional effectiveness:

• Metacognition: the ability to reflect on their thoughts and use insights for growth
• Interoception: greater awareness of what’s happening within their bodies and the different elements to be aware of (like emotions, needs, beliefs, etc.), and
• Executive functions: such as improved focus and inhibitory control (a neuroscience term for managing reactions and impulses)

All big words, transcribed to tangible, practicable tools. Improvements in these skills are precisely what Emily describes as the transformative benefits she’s experienced as a result of her work.

From Stress to Strength: Unexpected Benefits

In my experience as an executive coach, the more people's careers progress, the more they border on burnout. Can you relate? This is serious.

Most leaders haven't been taught to handle emotions – their own or others' – and this catches up with them over time. It always plays to their detriment, even if being emotionless seems to make you more effective in the short run. There are other, healthier and really effective ways to lead.

Emily's story showcases a new way to balance one's energies and efforts. It starts with having quick, clear access to what you feel and need in each moment. And this in itself, research shows, helps regulate your emotional states and puts you more in control. It further includes knowing how your thoughts are influencing how you feel and act, which gives you more control over your actions, communication and their outcomes.

Emily speaks of this with welcome surprise:

"The stress levels I was experiencing before, because I've actually been suffering with complex PTSD, have improved, which was a surprising benefit that I wasn't putting any hope on. So it's been an incredible journey for me, and Nati has made it a very supportive one."

Creating Sustainable Change

The impact of her transformation was so significant that Emily is now seeking funding to bring these skills to all her volunteers, recognising that

"we need to know how to have connected, empathetic conversations and see people as people and take down this opposition that we're facing in our daily lives."

I could not agree more. Connected conversations are key to sustainability and social change and to improving the culture in any organisation.

What excites me most about my work is that when leaders like Emily develop these foundational skills – deep listening, emotional awareness, and clear, authentic communication – they create profound and lasting change in their organisations and all around them. They have more buy-in, more influence and they use them wisely, respectfully. The tools of empathic, authentic leadership transform team dynamics and create cultures of trust and innovation. This is a very effective way to lead people and projects. And much healthier for everyone.

The Unexpected Bonus: Beyond the Workplace

One aspect that consistently amazes me (no matter how many times I witness it) is how these leadership skills transform every relationship in our lives. Emily had her own surprise around this:

"My relationships have improved tenfold because of the course, the fulfilment and the quality of conversations I'm having has increased."

This touches on something I've observed repeatedly: when we develop a more conscious, empathetic leadership presence, the impact extends far beyond our professional lives. Because people are people, and when you change the way you feel, speak, listen and relate, others around you respond in kind. By making more conscious choices, you weave harmony around you.

"All of my interpersonal relationships since this course have really flourished."

Emily was beyond delighted about this change, and I felt really moved hearing of her past history with her family and how she felt much more confident, at ease and successful at it: "I had an amazing Christmas with my family for the first time... and it was hands down due to the NVC work we are doing with Nati. And that was quite a remarkable change for me."

Your Mindful Moment

Take a moment to reflect:

• What conversations are you avoiding in your professional life? Do you know the deep why?
• Where might deeper understanding of yourself and others transform your relationships?
• What might change if you felt confident approaching any conversation, no matter how difficult you expected it to be?
• And... what is it costing you not to tackle these skills? (some of my clients say millions- I used to think they were joking, until they started describing how far spread misunderstandings, tensions, siloing, etc. are, and the real financial and personal costs of the lack of "soft skills" in current workplaces).

Your Next Steps

I hope you have registered already for my free masterclass "High-Powered Empathic Listening Skills for Leaders" this Thursday 23rd, 18:00 GMT-19:00 GMT. Spread the word to your boss, colleagues, and any leader who needs to learn how to have a more empathetic touch. [Follow button for the taster.]

This masterclass is a piece of The Empathic Leader course starting January 31st – the 12-week deep dive Emily refers to. If you are ready for deep, lasting transformation, join us for a journey combining neuroscience, Nonviolent Communication, and positive psychology to revolutionise how you lead and live. As my clients say, life will never be the same afterwards.

"There's no doubt this course will change you. There's no doubt that the connections that you have with people will change and the connection with yourself will change for the better." -Emily

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