I’m often asked how people who are not members of a group that might experience discrimination in the workplace can best act as an ally to that group.? So I’ve put together my top tips for helping to make sure your workplace is as inclusive as possible!
- Educate yourself. A great way to show your support to the community is to learn more about it- in your own time.? Watching Sex Education and they use a term you’re not familiar with? Give it a Google. Not sure about the history of someone’s home country? Buy a highly rated introduction.? In an environment where someone might be asked to explain very basic things about their identity or person several times a day, someone starting from a deeper understanding of their diversity and demonstrating that little and often can make them feel much more at home.? If it’s the first time someone’s introduced themselves to you saying that they use the pronouns ‘they/them’ it doesn’t matter how well intentioned your follow up questions are- they’ve heard them all more often than the really tall guy has heard ‘How’s the weather up there?’ and they’ll both find them just as tedious.
- Don’t assume or stereotype. Newfound or longstanding knowledge can be a boon to help you show you know the lay of the land around someone but also carries a risk of taking something you know goes for the majority of a group and applying it to that individual. You might know Argentinians as big meat-eaters, but there’ll be egg-substitute on your face if this particular Argentine is a vegan! Open questions to learn more about that individual will make sure that you’re creating an inclusive environment.
- Check your language and get it right first time. We’ve all been there- the awkward ‘he… or she… or whatever, I guess’ as you super subtly obscure the fact that you’d started the sentence assuming the subject must be a man.? It’s quick and easy to train yourself to default to ‘them’ with the big benefit of being inclusive of non-binary people too!? ‘People’ instead of ‘Men and women’ is a similarly easy swap.? Even if you’re naturally adept at languages, taking in a name you’ve not come across before can be difficult.? Having a strategy prepared so you make sure you get it and a passable rendering of how it should be said is vital.
- Act like there’s one of us about at all times. If you’re finding yourself screening out or moderating certain behaviours or speech patterns in certain company there’s a good chance you know that those things might be alienating or make members of particular groups feel less comfortable.? But you can’t actually know that there isn’t a member of that group around.? You can’t tell someone’s religion by just looking and they might not be that comfortable sharing.? And that trans person who’s not out (often referred to as ‘stealth’) might not appreciate being lumped in ?‘Now it’s just us girls…’.
- Be careful with privileged information. Different contexts can mean very different levels of comfort with the information that people are willing to share.? When you were 14 you wouldn’t discuss what your classmate got up to at the party with their dad and grandma over tea, even though they can’t wait to tell the rest of the group in the queue in the school canteen. Equally, before sharing someone else’s personal details you learned in one context, you need to understand whether that’s something they’d want shared in another context.? And the safest approach is to always leave that up to them- they’re their details after all!
- Normalise behaviours that make things better for other groups. A great way to ally is to do some stuff which helps make comfort factors for certain groups a normal part of how we do things at your organisation.? Even if you’re called ‘John Smith’ adding a sound file to your email signature which plays you pronouncing your own name makes that a much more normal thing for anyone with a name some people won’t find so obvious to pronounce.? The fact that you identify as a man, are 6’7”, bald, have a beard Gandalf would be proud of and a deep voice doesn’t mean that you shouldn't introduce yourself with your he/him pronouns after giving your name. This makes it so much easier for someone later in the introduction round to get their pronouns out in the group easily and painlessly.
- Call it out- especially when it’s you who just messed up! For some people it can be exhausting being seemingly the only person who’s noticing and ever pointing out that the ‘dominant view’ doesn’t match their view of reality.? Joining the fray can ease some of that burden- all the more so when you’re the person who’s just reinforced that view.? Showing that person that you get it, but are a flawed human (just like the rest of us) who’s allowed your tongue to get ahead of your brain again relieves their need to make a correction and the need to explain to you the fundamentals.? Just don’t make a big apology, othering that individual and making them responsible (again, but now in a different way) for forgiving you.? You know it’s cringe when the old-fashioned gentleman apologises to the woman in the room (and only her) for swearing.? It’ll be cringe when you make a big show of asking forgiveness for having got your Halal-observing colleague a BLT too.
- Allying is an active activity. As a (reasonably vocal) member of the LGBTQ community, people declare themselves as allies to me on a reasonably regular basis.? A great many of these people are fantastic allies to that community and follow many of the elements I’ve highlighted here and more.? For some of them, I’m forced to raise a (usually internal) eyebrow.? Because I haven’t seen them doing these things.? And to be an Ally requires your active input- you need to be doing this things.? So get out there and do it!
