- Notice your own physical and emotional responses: you may feel your breath quickening, your heart racing, or your hands becoming clammy
- Take some slow, deep breaths & acknowledge to yourself what you are feeling & ask yourself is this helpful right now?
- Take a break: if you are finding it too hard to calm your emotional responses, or find yourself continually interrupting the feedback giver then it can be valuable to acknowledge that you are having trouble focusing on the feedback because you are feeling defensive or disappointed, or upset and can we have a break and then reconvene in 10 minutes, or tomorrow when I feel calmer?
- Listen to understand, not to reply: focus on the content of what the person is saying, what is the most important message in their words? What is the emotional tone of what they are saying? What is not being said?
- Seek specifics and clarity: if anything is unclear to you about what they actually want you to do or change then ask questions – when you said I was being dogmatic, what specifically was I doing that caused you to feel that? What would you like to see me do instead?
- Thank the feedback giver: regardless of whether you agree, you can appreciate the effort someone has made to provide feedback
- Reflect on what has been said: perhaps unpack it further with another colleague or coach, and decide how you feel about it, how it aligns with your values, and what action you want to take
- Follow-up: this may mean either putting the advice into action, it may mean closing out the conversation explaining why you are not choosing to do that or finding another way forward through further dialogue with the feedback giver.
Understanding ourselves is the starting point for great leadership and understanding how others perceive us, and the impact that has on what we can achieve is critical to taking the next step in our leadership journey, as it enables us to see both our strengths and our blindspots through a new lens. And once again this approach takes courage and compassion.
As part of my coaching process, it is possible to build in stakeholder interviews so that you gain a bigger picture of yourself as a leader.
How are you developing your capacity for receiving feedback?
Managing Director at Priority People Consulting
1 年Really helpful for all leaders, both emerging and longer serving leaders who just might need a little reminder. Thanks Sue.
Imposter Syndrome Expert | International Speaker I Author -Conquer Your Imposter? I Conquer Your Imposter? Keynote Talks & Masterclasses
3 年Great Tips Sue Rosen FCA