8 Tips to Become a Better Listener

Speaking ability is over-rated. The true meta-skill is listening.

How good a listener are you?

No matter what your answer, I think we can all get better at listening. Here are eight things you can do to become a better listener.

1. Don’t multi-task. When you are listening, just listen. Put that phone down. A WhatsApp message always seems to speak louder than the person in front of you.

2. Listen with your ears. And your eyes too. Don’t look elsewhere. Look into the speaker’s eyes.

3. Don’t fill in the blanks. Let the speaker complete what she is saying. Don’t assume you know what they are saying. If she says she saw Indian MatchMaking on Netflix and she absolutely… Don’t say ‘hated it, na?’ because that’s how you felt. Maybe, just maybe she loved it. Get comfortable with the pause. Don’t rush to fill in the blanks.

4. Don’t think about how to respond while you are listening. Just listen. Most times, we get busy framing our response. And miss out on what is being said.

5. If you disagree with what’s being said, try and understand the opposing point of view. Look for how might they be right. Not for where they are wrong.

6. Engage. Clarify. Repeat. Show that you are listening. A nod of the head can go a long way.

7. Don’t interrupt. Let them finish. Remember, this is your life, your world. Not a debate on News television.

8. Get comfortable with keeping your mouth shut. Sometimes, people just want you to listen. You don’t have to respond to everything that’s being said. You don’t have to win every argument. You don’t have to have every answer. No, they are not looking for advice. They just want you to listen. That’s all. There’s power in silence. And like some wise man once said, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt"