What Divorce Attorneys Wish You Knew || By
Tawanna Lynn Cesare
, Partner
Ending a marriage is one of the most stressful experiences anyone can go through. Most clients come to me in a state of distress and shock. During the past 20 years, I’ve counseled hundreds of clients and have discovered some common denominators.?
It’s never fun, but if you are facing a divorce, here are the Top 8 things you should do:?
- See a family law attorney before you get married. I know, not very romantic, right? While pre-marital agreements might seem cold, they can make clear what getting married means for your happiness and finances.? We hope you never have to invoke it, but going through the process could help you iron out major issues before it comes to taking leave of the union.?
- Understand why you want a divorce. Did someone make an error in judgment, or has this been brewing for a long time? What are the issues dividing your house? I always hope clients can stay together rather than go through a dissolution, but if they want to move forward, they should be clear on their motivation.
- Find the right fit with a lawyer. Interview at least two attorneys before you select one. Ask them questions about their style–and make sure it reflects yours–and about their knowledge of the applicable laws and the court you’ll appear before. If it doesn’t feel right, move on.?
- Be honest with your lawyer. Any family law practitioner with experience has learned a lot about how people make mistakes. We can handle almost any kind of information, but don’t blindside us. Be upfront, even if it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard to build a strong case without all the facts.?
- Seek out a good therapist. There are a lot of heavy emotions associated with the divorce process. While an experienced attorney can provide solid advice on your legal options, he or she is likely not credentialed in managing the mental health aspects of dissolving a marriage. Make sure you have the right support.?
- Gather any documentation relevant to the divorce. Find and print bank statements, investments and retirement fund records, property and vehicle deeds, and records related to your children. These should include medical records and school reports related to discipline and attendance.?
- Keep your side of the street clean. Don’t leave yourself open to criticism, perceived or real. Stop drinking alcohol and give up recreational drugs if you use either. Don’t hack your former spouse’s phone or email, put a tracker on a vehicle, or engage in any type of digital or physical monitoring. While it might feel gratifying in the moment, it won’t make a good impression on a judge.?
- Rely on the professionals. Your cousin’s divorce is not yours. While it’s good to have moral support from others who have been on the path, don’t use their experience to inform your own. If in doubt, call your lawyer.?
Learn more about Tawanna & how to contact her here.
