8 things I learned from my time in a toxic workplace

This isn’t the kind of content I would usually post on here, but today marks one year since I resigned from truly the worst job I’ve ever had, at the most toxic company I’ve ever experienced. 

But I don’t regret a single second of working there. I just wish someone had told me this at the time.

Here’s what I learned.

(Please note that this company is not on my CV, nor on my LinkedIn profile - in case you were planning on looking for it)

I’ve worked at a lot of places, in a lot of roles (the joy of being a contractor, freelancer, and generally having itchy/ambitious feet) - including in some seriously tough situations, so I’m not naive to the various complexities and horrors which can occur in the workplace. Despite my experience, however, all the horrendous Glassdoor reviews I’d read and absorbed, and feedback from others who had worked at this company - I still wasn’t ready for what was in store .

But this isn’t a post about why I believe that company to be a damaging place to work, it’s about what I learned. I wish someone had said this to me at the time, when I was feeling sick every single morning on the drive in and deflated every evening on the drive home. 

1. Company culture matters

I never really realised how important this was. I always thought this was HR nonsense until I worked at this place, instead of an absolutely integral part of the working experience. 

When an entire workplace is miserable, jaded, and broadly apathetic about their jobs, it’s so hard to feel positive dragging yourself to your office every day. 

I’d worked at organisations previously which were going through turbulence, but the company culture made the stressful periods bearable - and when things went back to normal we were all the better for it. 

2. Good management is invaluable

I’ve been fortunate to have a lot of great managers (official and de facto) in the past. I’ve also worked with less-than-stellar ones too. Working in a place with little-to-no management, combined with paradoxical micromanagement, inconsistent messaging and confusing horizontal management imposed haphazardly was a really eye-opening experience. 

I came to appreciate every single manager I had previously had, both the ones who were officially my line manager, and the more senior employees who had mentored and guided me. Even managers I had previously clashed with (sometimes repeatedly!) I came to value retrospectively - as I’ve been lucky to always work for people who I could genuinely talk to. We may not have always liked what the other had to say, but doors have always been open - and that means a lot. 

I think the best managers are ones who have experienced bad management. I will be a better manager myself, because I truly know what not to do. 

I’m also now all the more grateful for the incredible team I work with, including my own manager and other senior leaders in the business. 

3. There’s a difference between benefits and “benefits” - and it can tell you a lot about the company

Workplaces like Google, Facebook, and Twitter are legendary, and have set the bar high for benefits and office culture. Companies are constantly trying to emulate these set-ups, particularly younger start-ups - but they are often failing. 

Sure, slides and ball-pits in an office are fun - but do you know what’s better? Sick pay. Or giving maternity pay, annual leave and pensions above the statutory minimum. 

“Trendy” young companies are copying the wrong parts of these tech firms’ company culture, putting loud DJs in the office instead of paid sick leave. Netflix gives new parents as much leave as they want within the first year, on full pay - as well as having beautiful offices with fun freebies.

Sometimes giving more than the statutory minimum genuinely isn’t economically possible for a company, so they opt for low-cost freebies like breakfasts and fruit instead. I understand this, and that’s quite different from major conglomerates with thousands of staff refusing to give decent maternity packages. 

The toxic company I worked at made hundreds of millions in annual revenue, so meaningful benefits were financially viable - but the superficial benefits like a DJ and white sofas were preferred to paid sick leave - meaning every time an employee was ill, they had to choose between losing a day’s pay and infecting their colleagues. In the context of this year’s pandemic, that’s a bleak situation. 

4. Not allowing flexible working is a red flag

The rise of flexible working has happened during my time in the workforce - and it really says a lot about the organisation and the management. 

Obviously there’s shift work in a lot of industries, especially journalism, so this isn’t always possible - but when working hours are rigidly 9-6, it says a lot. 

Everywhere I’ve worked before and since has had some element of flexible working. This may have been formally, where staff are able to fully control their hours, or an informal arrangement where you knew that you could have a medical appointment and work back the time or finish earlier if you needed to. 

It shows trust, between the company and its staff, and between a manager and their team. Moreover, allowing flexible working creates a positive space for staff with family commitments or care duties. By rigidly adhering to inflexible start and finish times, companies are (consciously and unconsciously) signalling to prospective and current staff that they don’t trust their employees, and don’t want to hire people with families. 

My husband works in a pretty traditional industry (which also has to base their hours around the stock market), but he’s never had an issue taking time to go to the doctor or having to leave early to stick to a commitment. His managers, who have all been fantastic, trust him. In return, he values the companies he's worked for, and has incredible job loyalty. 

5. Toxic workplaces can still give you fantastic colleagues

One of the worst things about a toxic company is that the relationships between colleagues can be incredibly sour. There is often a culture of throwing people under the bus, shirking responsibility, and blame. 

But I wasn’t expecting to make so many positive contacts and friends too. I’ve worked with so many fabulous people at all my jobs, and I know from previous jobs that there is nothing more unifying than a common enemy. Sometimes this is a turbulent period of change, or a particularly difficult client - but in a toxic workplace? It’s the entire company. 

I left my toxic workplace with a good number of fantastic connections; some I’ve helped find new work, or I’ve turned to for professional advice. Some I still go for drinks with (albeit less of that now) or catch up with regularly. One I even recommended for a job in my current team. These are professional relationships and friendships I truly value. 

6. Be wary of places which obsess over brand names

I wasn’t sure how to word this one. I’m not talking about Nike and Louis Vuitton. I’m talking about the brand names on your CV.

In my case, that’s Cambridge and the BBC. I am lucky enough to have a degree from Cambridge and have had the absolute privilege of working for the BBC too (a place I cannot recommend highly enough as an employer). These are two big names that are, understandably prominently featured on my CV. I know they are powerful names - with my editorial hat on, they almost work like SEO keywords. 

But just like SEO keywords don’t indicate the actual quality of the web page, these names don’t say much about me as a person or an employee. 

Hiring managers who prefer to introduce you as an Oxbridge graduate than by your actual achievements, are unlikely to be people who learn to value your work as an employee. If an interview feels rushed and brief, and the interviewer mentions the word Cambridge more times than the company you are applying for - this is a red flag in my opinion. 

One of the first companies I ever worked for after graduating (a business I still have such a soft spot for), was positively packed with Oxbridge grads. This was never something bragged about, or prominently highlighted. Nor did it feel like there was a quota we were filling. We were always valued for our work and the contributions we made to the business.

Which is exactly how it should be. 

7. Long contracted hours mean less work

This place was the longest contractual hours I’ve ever had, far above industry standard.

Shift work aside, everywhere else has always been between 35-40, with a great deal of flexibility. As a result, when I needed to, I would always willingly work overtime. It’s the same in my current role. I’ll do things at weekend, evenings, early mornings if I need to to get the work done - because I know that my time is valued and respected, and that if I need to take a break, I can. 

When contracts stipulate excessively long hours - with no degree of flexibility, you can guarantee that employees aren’t going to give anything more than they are contractually obliged to. 

8. Don’t ever feel pressured to stay in a job - or leave a job - because of how it looks

Sometimes we have to do terrible jobs in terrible places because of our situation. That was certainly the case for me. I needed to stay in that job until a certain date, for very specific reasons external to the workplace. When that obligation was gone, I resigned 30 minutes later via email and left the next working day. 

I hated every second of that job, and therefore felt a degree of pressure from friends and family to leave sooner than I realistically could, because it didn’t make sense to them that I was still there. But we often have to do jobs we despise because our circumstances dictate that we must. Now more than ever we know the value of employment and a paycheque, and it’s absolutely valid to stay somewhere toxic because you need to - despite how it appears to others.

At the same time, if you have the chance to leave, never feel you should stay in a toxic workplace because you are worried how it will appear on your CV. People know toxic companies exist, and if it’s a well-known organisation especially - it’s likely future employers will completely understand. My CV has a lot of short spells at different places. I’ve progressed because I’ve made a lot of jumps - often big ones - to new roles in new places. It’s no longer the case that you have to do 7 years in a job to look ‘dependable’ - that’s just not how things work anymore. 

The various jobs I’ve had and organisations I’ve worked for have left me with industry knowledge and practical skills I simply wouldn’t have if I were still in my first ever graduate role (much as I loved my time there). 

I’m unbelievably fortunate and privileged to be in a role and a company where I hope to stay long-term, but I also know that quick stays are no bad thing either. 

I’ve not written this piece to brag about how lucky I am now. I’ve written this as a letter to myself 13 months ago, when things seemed truly dire - and by extension to anyone else in a similar position. I would have really appreciated reading this back then.

The most important thing I learned through this whole experience was that I am not my job - something which can be especially hard when you see your career as a vocation, as I do with journalism. I came to understand the things in my life I truly cherish, and perhaps had been taking for granted - things which have become even more precious to me during the difficulties of 2020. 

(And one last thing: if a company is always, and I mean *always* hiring - just ask yourself why.)