8 Strategies to Improve Your Ability to Handle Feedback
Being confronted with one’s own quirks is rarely a pleasant feeling. Often, a wall is built around oneself by automatically interpreting conflict as a personal attack. Here’s how to differentiate between constructive and negative criticism and use the outcome of a conflict for personal growth.
1. Establish Ground Rules
Request ground rules for feedback sessions. This allows you to remind the feedback giver of the mutually agreed-upon “rules” if they criticize you unjustly or personally. No one should have to endure shouting or personal attacks over a mistake. If emotions run high, consider postponing the conversation for later.
2. Take a Step Back
When faced with personal mistakes and weaknesses, the natural response is often to defend, justify, or even launch a counterattack. While this reaction is “human,” it’s not necessarily productive. Don’t let the emotions triggered by this criticism overwhelm you. Instead, view the feedback as constructive criticism with the opportunity to grow.
3. Listen Carefully
People often wait for their turn to speak so they can defend themselves or respond, forgetting to focus on what’s being said. It’s better to let the feedback giver explain their perspective fully while concentrating on the specific points being criticized. What bothers them, and why?
4. Ask Questions
Often, there’s a disconnect between the feedback giver and receiver. If you find it difficult to understand or relate to what the feedback giver is saying, ask for clarification. Encourage them to elaborate on their concerns and define them more clearly. If they express what bothers them but don’t provide suggestions for improvement, ask for their recommendations.
5. No Justifications
When pointed out about mistakes, it’s easy to blame circumstances or others. The problem with this approach is that it shows a lack of willingness to take responsibility. A more sensible approach would be to accept the criticism initially and then let it sink in.
6. You Decide How Much Feedback to Accept
Remember that any feedback represents just one person’s opinion. Compare it with your own perspective (self-perception vs. external perception). Honestly assess whether the feedback giver might be right and in which areas. Will you improve your work by sharing their viewpoint and accepting suggestions? Feedback only becomes fruitful when the receiver is willing to change.
7. Use Positive Body Language
Approach the conversation with open body language (sitting up straight, with open hands on the table). Avoid crossing your arms or similar gestures, as they can signal defensiveness or rejection.
8. Gratitude for Critique is Not a Weakness
You might be thinking, “Being grateful for someone pointing out my mistakes—really?!” But consider this: It takes a lot of courage to offer criticism. Your feedback giver knows that this situation is uncomfortable for you. Still, they initiated the conversation, demonstrating their interest in continuing to work with you.
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