8 Signs of Trauma Bonding and 10 Tips for breaking through

Trauma Bonds can keep people tied into relationships with lovers, partners, parents, kids and employers for years and years. As with Stokholme Syndrome, victims of abuse can keep going back to their partner or accepting the partner back, despite being desperate to end it. Understand why, and how to help them. The intense emotions and rollercoaster rides of panic then calm lead to emotional ties that can prevent you from living your full potential. The extract below is from the latest blog article available at The Art of Growing?

Someone out there needs to read this. If you know someone in this situation, I hope this will give you some insight into their situation.

"A long while ago, I received a panic call from a client I'd been helping out of a toxic relationship. She had kicked out her husband of over 2 decades after she found out about his extra marital shenanigans, and after her initial session which indicated that this was the route she wanted to take, she had simply gone silent. Now, as long as clients are doing well, I don't encourage dependency to sessions but , rather , I believe in allowing people to take responsibility for their progress or lack thereof so although I follow up if they miss a session, I certainly wouldn't harass anyone into returning. I also believe that there has to be a good raport created between therapist and sometimes there isn't that fit, which is fine as long as the person gets the help they need even if that means referring them on. Health practitioners and therapists of any kind can only lead people to the solutions but we cannot and should never force a particular route if we want the treatment to be long term for the client/ patient. I had contacted her and she had said she was just really busy and would reschedule for just as soon as her time allowed, so I left it at that, assuring her I'd be there for her when she needed me.

So Madalain* called in a panic at around 10pm, crying hysterically and saying that her husband had "left."

"Left where?" 

"He's just left"

"Can you explain what happened, I'm a little out of context."

"He left to go to her"

"Let's start from the beginning, tell me the story of what happened."

It turns out that Madalain had decided to let her husband move back in, despite the toxicity of the relationship. Because she felt accountable to the therapeutic process in which she had walked in saying she wanted help getting over her husband, she hadn't wanted to let me know she had opted to return to him.

"It's been so long I don't know how to live without him." 

"This is something we can work on if you wish to go that route, but the question is do you want to live without him?"

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