8 Life-Changing Lessons That Shaped My Author Career

In April 2013, my mom said,?“Quit your crying and go into that room and don’t come out until you know what you want to do with your life.”?

I need tough love. I do not respond to pats on the back, sympathetic smiles, and “You poor thing.” That’s just my personality. Mom had also told me on this day, “If you could wake up every day and do the same thing, what would it be?” So I did exactly as my mom said. That night, Curiouser Editing was born. My original tagline on my free WordPress site was: “Expert editing with a comic twist.” (Each of my blog posts had a comic.) It wasn’t until a few years later that I rebranded to Shayla Raquel.

Some of you know that in 2012, I was the co-owner of a business that brought me nothing but depression, insomnia, acid reflux, lack of confidence, and broken friendships. After I left that business in the beginning of 2013, my mom was tired of seeing me mope around the house, so she whisked me off to Pensacola Beach, Florida. She knew the beach, the sun, and the sand could solve just about every problem, and I agree.

I had made a pros and cons list of businesses I wanted to do while in that room, but?I knew the only thing I was truly passionate about was writing and editing. I wanted to own my own company.?That’s what I wanted to do. I dried my tears and told my mom what I wanted to do for a career, and she nodded and said, “Good. Now go make it happen.” I stayed up way too late on a salmon-colored couch in a condo creating my website, starting up Facebook and Twitter accounts, and writing my first blog post.

As a business owner and author, there are eight lessons that have shaped my entire career.

1. Learn as much as you possibly can.

After college and especially as I started my business, I spent hours and hours and hours studying books, videos, courses, podcasts, and blog posts so I could learn more about the craft of writing. I?still?do. I have never stopped learning. If you want to be a great writer, your first step is to read and read and read. It pains me when I talk to writers who tell me they don’t read much (or at all). I don’t understand how you can have one without the other.?

2. Cut the vein.

In 2019,?Sanderia Faye?taught a class for?DFWCon?and explained that writers cannot skirt around the edge; they must cut the vein. They must bleed onto the page. In my earlier days as a writer, I would often pull back. Great writers are remembered for those moments when they cut the vein and bled onto the pages. Think of?Sophie’s Choice. That’s one of the most well-known stories of all time. Why? Because William Styron did not skirt around the edge; Sophie Zawistowska had to choose which of her two children would die immediately by gassing at Auschwitz and which one would continue to live. She chose to have her daughter Eva killed.?That?is cutting the vein.?That?is writing something no one will ever forget. Can you think of a time in your writing when you cut the vein?

3. Find your weirdos.

I love being weird. My boyfriend has often commented, “You know what I love about you? That one day, you can write a love poem about me, and the next day, you ask me to read your short story draft about a cannibal.” Writers are weird, and that’s what I love about us. Writers often joke about our search histories, and boy, do those get freaky. You have to find other writers if you’re going to write. You need your community of people who say the following to you:“I can send you a document my friend got from the dark web that is literally just pages and pages and pages of stuff on secret societies to help you with your research.”

• “Do you have any books to help me choose the right poison for my character? I don't want it to be arsenic."
• “You?have?to try this pen. It is the pen among pens."?
• "I was thinking of having my characters kiss on page 34, but what if I wait until page 46 instead?"
• "Would there be blowflies on the corpse this early in the decomposition stage?"?

Embrace your weirdness and find your other weirdos. You'll be glad you did.

4. Forgive yourself for not writing every day.

Ohmygoodness. I am the queen of this. But you shouldn’t beat yourself up if you don’t write today. Or tomorrow. Or next week. You shouldn’t mumble, “I must not be a?real?writer since I don’t write every day.” Writing every single day for some is not a reality. I know it’s not for me. So forgive yourself! Try again tomorrow. Or next week. I see too many writers act like it's the end of the world if they haven't worked on their books in weeks. You get a brand-new day every morning to try again.?

5. Get thick skin.

If you want to hold your book in your hands one day, and I would hope you do, then you need to develop a thick hide sooner rather than later. Falling into a heap of tears just because someone offered feedback on your story you didn’t like?does not help you to grow as a writer.?Posting on social media that “this [review] just crushed me, and I want to give up!” will not do anything to strengthen your craft.?Giving up on writing entirely just because you need more coaching with novel elements is a waste of your talent. Yeah, we get negative reviews. Yeah, we get people in our family who never read our work. It’s not a reason to stop writing. Besides, you aren’t writing for the Negative Nellies, are you?

6. Always, always, always tell the truth.

I’ll be the first to admit I struggle with being vulnerable. I’ve worked hard the last couple of years to overcome this, though. I worry that sometimes my authors don’t quite grasp what I mean about being honest in writing, so let me get specific. There will come a time when you’re drafting a scene in your memoir and hit backspace a dozen times because what your father said to you during that time was so gut-wrenching that you don’t know if your readers can handle it. There will come a time when you write a poem moments after something devastated you, and then, during your editing, you'll tell yourself, “I better take that out in case she ever reads it.”?So you stop yourself in mid-truth. You don’t write it. Because you’re afraid of what people will think. You censor yourself. You censor your story. You censor the truth.?While every story is different and requires its own considerations, let me leave you with this quote by Anne Lamott: “You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.”

7. Don’t be a one-hit wonder.

I have a bookcase dedicated to my authors’ books. I love the spaces that have my their books lined one after another, like?Bill McCurry's dark fantasy series. I have all five of his novels in a row. But I have so many spaces where authors wrote their one book, and that was that. There are Emily Brontes and Arthur Goldens and Anna Sewells, if you will, throughout my library. They wrote one book, and not another. I urge you: If you stopped at one book and never wrote another one, it is not too late. Please keep writing.?

8. Punch perfectionism right in the throat.?

The topic of perfectionism comes along my newsletter and blog posts a lot, doesn’t it? That’s because it’s my enemy as a writer, and I know it’s an enemy to several of my writer friends and clients. You won't start your book because the outline isn't perfect yet. You won't finish your book because there are too many plot holes getting in the way. You won't publish your book because you're still doing rewrites after rewrites. Translation:?it isn't perfect yet.?Your vision is so much bigger than your insecurities.?You may feel fear, but write anyway. Write afraid. Write even when you're totally freaked out that it's gonna suck. Just do it anyway! If you need help writing while afraid, remember your why. Why did you want to write this book?

Am I allowed a bonus piece of advice??Slam the door shut on anyone in your life who does not encourage your writing.?If you have people who make you feel like garbage for writing your story, show them the door, slam it, and lock it. Those kind of people will stifle your creativity more than perfectionism, more than self-doubt, more than imposter syndrome. Get. Rid. Of. Them.?

An expert editor, best-selling author, and book marketer, Shayla Raquel works one-on-one with writers every day. A lifelong lover of books, she has been in the publishing industry for ten years and specializes in self-publishing.

Her award-winning blog teaches new and established authors how to write, publish, and market their books.

She is the author of the Pre-Publishing Checklist, “The Rotting” (in Shivers in the Night), The Suicide Tree, #1 bestseller The 10 Commandments of Author Branding, and her book of poetry, All the Things I Should’ve Told You. In her not-so-free time, she acts as organizer for the Yukon Writers’ Society, studies all things true crime, and obsesses over squirrels. She lives in Oklahoma with her dogs, Chanel, Wednesday, and Baker.