8 Lessons From Almost Killing Myself

?Forgive the harsh headline but almost to the day .. 7 ears ago I stood on the edge of ‘that cliff’

the lowest, hardest point of my life. Empty, and ready to end it all

and well, you know the rest

in my other posts you'll see 'the' video where I describe it all in detail

(Over 6 million people have watched it and whats happened since has been crazy)

rather than go into more details about the darkness though?

here are some of the lessons I've learned since then and on my journey of turning my life around

?1- My NUMBER one responsibility is a man is SHOWING (not preaching) my kids how to operate

on that day, Lesley stood in front of me and said something that finally snapped me out of my?

dark, deeply depressed state

She ask me to think about my 2 kids growing up as 'those kids whose dad killed himself'

that changed everything for me...

consider that we all say that everything we do is FOR our kids..

BUT and this is HUGE.... the GREATEST thing you can ever do FOR your kids?

is to be THE example of a man who takes care of himself, treats HIMSELF like someone he loves, who takes responsibility for how he feels and how he behaves

I could add more here but if you only take ONE thing from this post.. make it THAT ^^^^

2- The way I feel is ALWAYS temporary... and I can CHANGE the way I feel and the emotions I'm experiencing in an INSTANT

I go into a lot depth in my books about this?

but essentially, armed with the right tools, knowledge and strategy, I'm able to influence and impact my state

and emotions

GIVE A FUCK about what goes in your mouth, in your eyes and in your eyes

it all impacts how you feel. You can't put diesel in a petrol engine and expect to feel good

ELITE level self-care MUST be a priority. Nothing else really matters

And it starts with a WILLINGNESS?

3- I have the life I'm willing to put up with

The only time you can ever change your situation and your reality? when you REFUSE to be willing to put up with it and BECOME willing to do whats required to change it?

if you aren't willing to do the work, then by default you're willing to stay the same

Doesn't matter if its with money, your marriage, your body or your mindset

4- Who you hang out with and your environment MATTERS

Isolation is mans go-to tactic when he's struggling

because we're ADDICTED to not 'looking bad/inferior' we isolate ourself and go all 'lone wolf'

it doesn't work.?

Being around people who push you inspire you, encourage you, call you out on your bullshit and keep you accountable beats the SHIT out of hanging out with moaners, whiners, people that 'take the piss' and are happy playing small (they're doing their best, though... Remember)

you can't always be around positive people.. but you can certainly choose who's in your circle and?WHERE you hang out

get around people.?

5 - My happiness is MY responsibility?

NOT my wifes, not my kids, not my clients, not my mam or dad

ME and me alone, as soon as a realised that.. I took back my power AND lessend the burden on them?

BONUS: If you don't know WHEN you're happy or when you feel happy

you'll always struggle

make a list and do more of those things

6- Everyone is doing their best, for them, regardless of you

I get A LOT of 'heat' and lot of criticism and a lot of people mocking me?

but understand that its NEVER about me and it isn't personal (it just feels like it)

its ALWAYS about the other person and they're trying their best to feel better

and thats their job... some people just don't know any other way than to attack/mock etc?

and thats okay

Just as our priority is self care, this is theirs?

once you stop assuming why people do things, guessing what they're thinking and questioning their motives

everything is alright?

?7- I AM NOT MY THOUGHTS

We're not in control of the thoughts that show up in our minds

but we ARE in control of which ones we choose to believe and the assumptions we make?

and the root of ALL OF OUR SUFFERING?

arguing mentally with reality

8- life happens FOR us not TO us

It kinda fits in with the above but I became a VICTIM to my circumstances, I'd blame bipolar, anxiety, my town (anything I could really)?

Because I told the story of 'everything happens to me'?

But then I learned life is about growth and contribution?

And that sometimes growth is uncomfortable and painful?

But in the end? If I can understand that nothing happens to me and that everything happens for my growth and so I can contribute (you too)?

Then life feels better. Challenging, but better?

And it certainly shifts me out of playing.. and therefore, behaving like a victim?

Man, I could go on and on..?

but thats why I wrote 3 books?

please share so that anyone who's struggling reads this?

have a GREAT fucking christmas and cherish every moment with the people you love?

pay more attention, listen more?

make eye contact when you're in conversation

put your phone down (after you've shared this OBV ha)

love?

Paul Mort?

Dad, Husband, Coach?

Author of "Paul Mort Will Save Your Life"

UK Mastercoach of the Year 2019 and 2020