The 8 Instinctive Habits of Remarkable Leaders

Once in a while you meet a leader who stands out -- even in a room filled with skilled, experienced, successful people. She hasn't just learned to be remarkably charismatic. He hasn't just learned to be remarkably likeable.

You can tell, in an instant, they simply think and act and lead differently than most people.

But those rare individuals don't become remarkable leaders overnight. While some are born with an aptitude for leadership, truly outstanding leaders are made. Through training, experience, and a healthy dose of introspection they learn how to make quick decisions. They learn to work with different personalities. They learn to nurture, motivate, and inspire.

They learn to truly lead.

And in time those skills become automatic and reflexive. While great leaders do a tremendous amount of thinking, that thinking happens behind the scenes. In the moment, in the trenches, when people look to them and need them most, they act: swiftly, decisively, and confidently.

Want to become a remarkable leader? Work hard to, like them, do some things naturally, automatically, and instinctively:

1. They praise.

It's easy to tell when employee recognition is simply one entry on a very long to-do list. We've all been around people who occasionally -- and awkwardly -- shake a few hands and pat a few backs. No matter how hard they try to fake it, their insincerity is evident. (Tell me you haven't had at least one boss like that.)

No one gets enough praise, so truly outstanding leaders see expressing thanks, giving praise, and providing recognition as one gift that can never be given often enough.

Praise is almost like breathing to a truly outstanding leader: natural, automatic, frequent, and most of all, genuine and sincere.

2. They decide.

Ideas are great but implementation is everything. Outstanding leaders quickly weigh, assess, decide, and then immediately act -- because decisiveness and action build confidence and momentum.

That's why making a poor decision is often better than making no decision at all. Mistakes can almost always be corrected. Even though you should always try, rarely must you be right the first time. Adapting and learning and revising so you get it right in the end matters a lot more.

Especially when...

3. They take responsibility.

We all make bad decisions. What matters is what we do afterwe make those mistakes.

Outstanding leaders are the first to say, "I was wrong." Outstanding leaders are the first to say, "I made the wrong choice. We need to change course."

Outstanding leaders instinctively admit their mistakes early and often because they're quick to take responsibility and because they desperately want to build a culture where mistakes are simply challenges to overcome, not opportunities to point fingers and assign blame.

4. They communicate.

Business is filled with what: What to execute, what to implement, what to say, and sometimes even what to feel.

What's often missing is the why.

That's why so many projects, processes, and tasks fail. Tell me what to do and I'll try to do it; tell me why, help me understand why, help me believe and make that why my mission too...and I'll run through proverbial brick walls to do the impossible.

Managers stipulate. Outstanding leaders explain. And then they listen--because the most effective communication involves way more listening than talking.

5. They set the example.

Say you're walking through a factory with the plant manager and there's a piece of trash on the floor. There are two types of people when that happens:

• One spots it, stops, struts over, snatches it up, crumples it like a beer can, and strides 20 feet to a trashcan to slam it home. He picked up the trash... but he also made a statement.
• The other veers over without breaking stride, picks it up, crumples it, keeps talking, and doesn't throw it away until he comes across a convenient trashcan. He's not thinking about making a statement. He just saw a little trash... and picked it up without thinking.

Simple example? Sure. But extremely telling -- especially to employees.

Why? Employees notice what you do. When you're in charge, everyone watches what you do. The difference lies in how you do what you do... and what that says about you.

Outstanding leaders do what they do simply because it's important to them. It's part of who they are. They care about go, not show -- and, in time, so do they people they work with.

6. They give feedback.

We all want to improve: to be more skilled, more polished, more successful. That's why we all need constructive feedback.

Because they care about their employees, not just as workers but as people, outstanding leaders instinctively go to the person struggling and say, "I know you can do this. And I'm going to help you."

Think about a time when a person told you what you least wanted to hear and yet most needed to hear. They changed your life. Outstanding leaders naturally try to change people's lives, even if it's uncomfortable... because they care.

7. They seek help.

At some point, most people in leadership positions start to avoid displaying any signs of vulnerability. After all, you're in charge of everything, so you're supposed to know everything.

Of course that's impossible. You can't know everything about your job. (Your employees can't know everything about their jobs, either.)

Outstanding leaders don't pretend to know everything. (In fact, they purposely hire people who know more than they do.) So they instinctively ask questions. They automatically ask for help.

And in the process they show vulnerability, respect for the knowledge and skills of others, and a willingness to listen -- all of which are qualities of outstanding leaders.

8. They challenge. Most leaders implement their ideas by enforcing processes and procedures that support those ideas.

For employees, though, engagement and satisfaction are largely based on autonomy and independence. I care a lot more when it's mine: my idea, my process, my responsibility. I care the most when I feel I am depended on -- and given the authority -- to make important decisions and do what's right.

Outstanding leaders create broad standards and guidelines and then challenge their employees by giving them the autonomy and independence to work the way they work best. They allow employees to turn "yours" into "ours," transforming work into an outward expression of each person's unique skills, talents, and experiences.

That's a challenge every employee wants to face -- and one that outstanding leaders instinctively provide.

I also write for Inc.com:

• 20 Things to Say That Will Dramatically Improve Your Life
• 11 Gestures and Body Positions That Increase Performance
• 10 Daily Habits of Exceptionally Happy People
• 19 Beliefs of Remarkably Successful People
• 5 Toxic Beliefs That Ruin Your Chances for Success

Check out my book of personal and professional advice,TransForm: Dramatically Improve Your Career, Business, Relationships, and Life -- One Simple Step At a Time. (PDF version here, Kindle version here.)

If after 10 minutes you don't find at least 5 things you can do to make your life better, I'll refund your money.

That way you have nothing to lose -- and everything to gain.