8 Important Things I Learned From My Parents #BIYP

This Thursday, LinkedIn will be holding its 3rd annual “Bring In Your Parents to Work” day.  This is an opportunity for LinkedIn’s employees to bring their parents into the office to get a tour, learn a little about what the children do, and get an overview of what LinkedIn does (including our larger mission).  This is a fun (and for some of us frightening) event that we have had tremendous success with.

As a precursor to this event, I would like to share 8 things my parents have taught me that have influenced me in my professional life:

1. Treat people with respect: This was taught early and often.  It didn’t matter if it was our neighbors, our coaches, our teachers, service people, etc.  Everyone was treated with respect and using manners was non-negotiable.  All adults were “Mr.” or “Mrs.” (I still refer to our older family friends by those terms!), and we were asked to speak clearly and make eye-contact.  In my humble opinion, these are strong professional and personal character traits.  By the way, I would be remiss in not mentioning that there was also an element here regarding respect being earned.  The expectation was that everyone started with respect, but it was also expected that we have to earn the respect of others.
2. Set a high bar for yourself: It didn’t matter whether it was school, sports, or any other activity we were doing, we were expected to do our best.  We weren’t expected to always win, have the top mark, or get accolades, but there was a very clear standard that our best effort was expected.  After a while this expectation became something that was driven inside of me, and I recall being disappointed in myself if I realized a best effort was not put forth.  To this day I am sometimes told that I am too hard on myself, but this comes from an expectation of best effort, not just the results.
3. Don’t live above your means: As a family we were never lacking, but we did not live a lifestyle we couldn’t afford.  If you wanted something, you simply figured out a way to afford it.  We had great vacations, a cottage and pool, were the first family in the neighborhood with a personal computer.  But we bought and kept our cars for at least 8 years, and we never had credit card debt.  I carry this same philosophy with me as an adult.
4. There is no substitute for hard work, and doing things yourself: I remember my Dad taking extra courses in the summer (he was a teacher) to increase his skills and his pay grade, and he taught night school for extra income.  There were also very few instances where I can remember my parents hiring someone to do things they could do at home.  As a result of this, I have become fairly handy at home too, and many of my weekends are filled with household projects….most of which work out. :-)
5. Education is important: This was something that we were taught early, and it carried a “no excuses” policy.  Homework was important, as were grades that were to match our effort and ability.  I don’t actually recall my parents setting a particular goal for my marks, but they did expect that I try my best.  There were times they tested my knowledge before tests to keep me honest, and support was there whenever it was needed.  My Dad completed university while he was working, and I remember him attending classes and doing his homework.  This set a standard that he didn’t expect me to do something he wouldn’t do himself.
6. Failure is allowed: We always had a safety net of support, but we were also allowed to fail.  Both my sister and I made dumb mistakes that we were held accountable for, but life lessons of failure are a great teaching tool which made an impact on both of us.  As a manager and a parent, I am often in a situation where it is far easier to just do things myself.  While I sometimes fall victim to this, my objective is to create a structure of self-improvement, of which at times includes failure.
7. Live a well-rounded lifestyle: My sister and I were encouraged to play sports all right throughout high school, and our house was always open to our friends.  This wasn’t obvious to me until I had my own kids, but when I think of the mix we had growing up between school, sports, family, and social activities, we were brought up in a well-rounded environment that gave us some amazing experiences. 
8. Family first: My Mom stayed home to raise my sister and I, and we always sent off to school well prepared, she was there when we got home (the best days were when we came home to freshly made cinnamon buns!), and she was always on our school trips. Once we got a little older and became a little more self-sufficient, my Mom started doing part-time work….but never very far away from home.  She was always available if we needed her, and was still there for us before school and after school.

I hope you have been as lucky as I to have had such great parents.  I also suspect that like me, much of this isn’t obvious until you get older and maybe even have kids of your own. 

If your company doesn’t have a Bring Your Parents to Work day, I would strongly encourage you to try it out.  You may learn something about your parents, and yourself.