8 habits to be avoided to increase your happiness.

TWENTY-THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO Aristotle concluded that, “more than anything else, men and women seek happiness. While happiness itself is sought for its own sake, every other goal—health, beauty, money and power—is valued only because we expect that it will make us happy”. Aristotle

The first misconception of happiness is predicated on the idea that happiness is something "we find". If we only got married, had a better job, made more money or had a bigger house.

However, happiness is a state of mind. It’s a condition that provides insight for viewing the world and our position in it.

Research consistently demonstrates that major life events account for only 10% of overall happiness.

A University of Illinois study found that people who earn the most (more than $10 million annually) are only “slightly” happier than employees making far less.

Psychologists from the University of California discovered genetics and life circumstances only account for about 50% of a person’s happiness. You’re responsible for the rest.

So, what can we do to reduce the bad habits that promote less happiness? 

Start by improving these 8 things:

Avoid holding our feelings in. People with emotional intelligence appreciate the need to resist “erupting” over insignificant misunderstandings. However, that doesn’t mean holding your feelings in. When you respect your feelings and appreciate their origin, you express yourself in a much healthier fashion.

Avoid medicating ourself with technology. Video games. Cell phones. Computers and electronic devices offer an irresistible escape for many people. When your escape becomes a problem, then you need to examine how much time you dedicate to distraction.

Avoid accumulating things. People that are poor experience a huge increase in happiness once their annual income exceeds $20,000 per year. Beyond that, the evidence is clear. Stuff doesn’t make us happy. In Anatomy of Success I encourage people to define success on their terms. For me, that includes commitment to; health, healthy relations, healthy connections with friends and family and satisfying work.

“Whoever is happy will make others happy.” – Anne Frank

Avoid focusing on the future. Ruminating about the past isn’t healthy, and neither is focusing too much on the future. When you convince yourself, happiness is contingent upon future accomplishments, you’re deferring your ability to enjoy happiness today! 

Avoid resisting change. Change is difficult because it entails giving up control. Control is a mechanism that provides the illusion of reducing “unpredictability”. However, control creates barriers that prevent discovering your true potential.

Recognizing things you can control and identifying those you can’t is a great place to start!

Avoid being Pessimistic. Pessimism is the fastest way to erode happiness. Besides destroying your mood, pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once you entertain a pessimistic thought, it quickly escalates into a belief that becomes debilitating.

Avoid making social comparisons. Envy and jealousy aren’t compatible with happiness. Resist comparing yourself to other people. When you believe your success is contingent upon somebody else’s failure, your doomed. Scarcity is the harbinger of limited happiness.

Avoid making excuses for not improving. When pessimism and control define your attempts to improve happiness, you wait for opportunity to knock at your door. When you meander through life believing success is the result of “good fortune”, you wait for a miracle to elevate your happiness.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.” – Carl Jung

Sum it up

Developing new habits dedicated to increasing happiness is a great place to begin your path of self-improvement. What you avoid is equally as important.

What do you AVOID to increase your happiness? Please include your thoughts in the comments section below. I love learning from you as well.

About Steve:

Steve Wohlenhaus is CEO of Weatherology, the leading company in the world at disseminating audio weather information.  Steve began his career as a major market television weather anchor in Minneapolis, where he received several Emmy Awards for science programming. Steve is an author and host of the post program Anatomy of Success. Connect with Steve on LinkedIn!