8 Empowering Choices to stay at your Best (Part 1 of 2)

Hello #GameChangers! I trust that this post finds you happy and well :)

In this two-part article, we will be exploring which choices you can make to stay at your best.

Quick reminder first: along the previous posts, you discovered the seeds of your Greatness and you may have recognized that you will be, and play, at your best when you...

1. Authentically show up as you are
2. Radiate positive energy and purpose
3. Act with both confidence and humility
4. Let go of the need to be 'perfect'
5. Embrace mistakes as an opportunity for growth, in the belief that "our greatest glory' is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall", as Confucius said.
6. Uphold the integrity and the courage to do the right things for yourself and for others
7. Build the strengths you need, and nurture the right mindset and behaviors

With such clarity, you can simplify your life, and channel your energy to focus on what matters most. As you wake up everyday focused and energized to make a positive difference in the world, realize the possibilities for you to build a positive legacy :)

Therefore, you should now be closer to the "right side" of the chart below - are you...?

In this post and the next one, we will explore and find out which choices you can make to ensure you stay in a positive state of being and soar towards greatness, nurturing the courage to move forward amidst uncertainty and possible adversity on your journey :)

And that can be a tall order.

First because pursuing greatness is a complex balancing act - and therefore, consumes a lot of your energy in doing so.

As Tony Schwartz wrote in HBR,

" Greatness demands both decisiveness and flexibility, courage and prudence, strength and vulnerability, action and introspection. The true measure of greatness is our capacity to navigate between our opposites with agility and grace - to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never to stop trying to get better."

And, second, because challenges may arise along your way: people's adverse agendas, accumulations of set-backs, competing priorities, to name just a few.

My experience over the years as an executive, and then as a coach, has led me to realize that making a few conscious choices about we believe can gear us with considerably more fortitude to endure. In stark contrast though, Arthur Schopenhauer declared,

"Der Mensch kann tun was er will; er kann aber nicht wollen was er will." (Man can do what he wills; but he cannot will what he wills.)

Empowering choices to be, and stay, at your best

We've discussed before how our beliefs shape our perceptions of reality, our attitudes and our moods. True self-empowerment comes from choosing empowering beliefs; and I found that most successful leaders I coached had made a few similar deliberate choices, which I wish to offer for your reflection :)

CHOICE #1 - CHOOSE OPTIMISM

Optimism is underrated; and I'm not talking about naive idealism or mindless enthusiasm here...

A former coachee, is a remarkably successful business man, and his favorite song is 'Puisque Tu Pars' from the French singer Jean-Jacques Goldman. The line that inspired him the most is

“Cette force de penser que le plus beau reste à venir”

(the strength to believe the most beautiful is yet to come)

I am always inspired by his ability to rebound from set-backs, and continuously grow his companies against all odds. 

Could you leave your comfort zone and embrace uncertainty and change without it?

Could you inspire bright and passionate others to follow you without it?

A more challenging question is… what will you do to nurture your optimism?

Lao Tzu said “Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear, and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dreams. Water them with optimism and solutions, and you will cultivate success. Always be on the lookout for ways to turn a problem into an opportunity for success.”

Take a look at the Chinese characters on the right.

You can notice the ideogram for 'opportunity' is much more complex than the one for 'danger'. Which is particularly interesting since it IS hard to identify 'opportunities' during times of crisis!

Tip #1 - Train your mind at uncovering opportunities in challenges

You will find out you can soon excel at it, because the rewards you gain will make this practice instinctive to your everyday life.

Tip #2 - Surround yourself with enough positive people

You may need to confront the naysayers in your life.

Don't go as far as reminding them of George Bernard Shaw's sharp remark, "A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it." Instead ask them to 'create more value' with what they say.

Our intelligence drives us to see what can go wrong, and as such, we must strengthen our will to drive us to see what can go right.

CHOICE #2 - CHOOSE TO TRUST OTHERS

At this moment along your journey towards greatness, you trust yourself to be ‘good enough’ to handle hardships, therefore you can take the risk to trust others and explore the possible rewards.

The rationale behind such a choice is simply put by Ernest Hemingway: “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” 

“ He who does not trust enough can not be trusted ” - Lao Tzu

And I'm not talking about blind, unconditional trust either! It's about choosing to offer your trust in an adult-to-adult relationship, where each party is accountable for their commitments, and holds the other one accountable as well.

This is a clear opposite to parent-child relationship where the parent-figure will take full responsibility and won’t hold the child-figure responsible.

Neuroscience has shown that people are energized as they gain a degree of autonomy, and that is what trust enables. In reverse, micromanagement de-motivates people drastically.

Tip #1 - Grant your trust and explain why you choose to do so

It is vital that you explain to those around you how integrity is a core-value of yours, and why you don’t tolerate any lack of it. Some people may derail and manifest dishonest and in my experience, it is rarely worthwhile to give them a second chance.

Tip #2 - Don't compromise about integrity

Toxic behaviors can be risky and highly contagious. As we take a rotten apple out from a fruit basket the moment we spot it, it may be sound to remove an untrustworthy employee from their position. 

CHOICE #3 - CHOOSE GRATITUDE

Amongst the ‘gifts for your inner-peace and mindfulness’ in an earlier post I shared, I proposed several activities that you can practice on your own to enhance your mindfulness. In being mindful of yourself, of others and your surroundings, you'll start to find yourself appreciating the finer things of life, which will eventually to pure, honest gratitude. And so what can you be grateful for?

You can CHOOSE to be grateful for:

• your health
• your self-awareness and self-acceptance
• your inner-greatness
• the people you love and who love you
• the successes and failures you are learning from
• the opportunities associated with challenges you meet
• the hobbies you indulge in
• the gifts of your talents
• and SO much more…

What difference will being grateful make?

It improves your mental and emotional well-being in the moment.

Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky wrote in her book “The How of Happiness” that gratitude is a ‘meta-strategy’ for achieving happiness. She found out that feelings of gratitude are incompatible with negative emotions such as anger, hatred, bitterness or greed. Here’s an illustration she offers:

"I have coached several women who overcame breast cancer, and I marvel at how grateful they are for so many things.

Said Linda: 'I woke up this morning as I saw the warm, orange sun-rays pierce through the shutters. I felt so fortunate first to wake up, and then to live in this home in the middle on nature. My daughter Sonia came to my bed, with a feverish look and whining that she didn’t want to go to school. I guessed she had caught the flu, and I felt happy I could take care of her. Fortunately, my colleagues and I cover for one another when one of us needs to take a leave of absence.

Before my cancer, I would have whined that the sunlight was shortening my sleep, that raising children was such a heavy duty at times, I wouldn’t have dared to ask for colleagues’ help. I am so grateful that my breast cancer empowered me to fully appreciate the beauty in Life, and let go of so many inhibitions.' "

As a leader, you can take it further and choose to be grateful for others’

• talents
• inspiration
• honesty
• support
• accountability
• challenges
• and so much more…

What difference can it make? Think about the last time someone told you that you matter to her or him… Remember the latest feedback you received that was heartfelt and specifically acknowledged something you did… Recall the most recent genuine ‘thank you’ you received… How did you feel? How did it influence the relationship you have to that person?

Expressing gratitude to others generates positive energy in them, making them feel valued, and willing to do more good. And neuroscience has demonstrated time and again that it makes you happier and healthier. No wonder why Steve Maraboli wrote,

“Those who have the ability to be grateful are the ones who have the ability to achieve greatness.” 

Tip #1 - Stop complaining for 24 hours... and observe what happens and how your feelings evolve

Tip #2 - For a few minutes, let your thoughts focus on what you can be grateful for every morning before you start your days

Tip #3 - Say a heartfelt thank you everyday to at least 5 people you are grateful to. And tell them exactly what it is you are grateful to them for.

Simply put, gratitude enhances both your motivation and that of the do-gooder!

Next week in Part 2 of this series, I will share 5 other empowering choices and more tips, for you to be and play at your best!

Meanwhile, I wish you bright days enlightened by optimism, trust and gratitude :)

______________________________________________________________________

Jean-Francois Cousin

Speaker, Author and Master Certified Coach

Director at the Global Board of the International Coach Federation

Greatness Leadership Coaching

Jean-Francois Cousin's latest book:

Game Changers at the Circus: How to Unleash Greatness in Their Organizations

is now available on Amazon in Kindle or Paperback 

Get your copy now!