8 Career Lessons Women Wish They'd Learned Sooner

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Recently, I reached out to my network on LinkedIn, asking women for the lessons they wish they had learned earlier in their careers. The feedback was a treasure trove of wisdom and oh-so-relatable.

I found myself nodding along, thinking, "Yeah, I wish younger me knew this too." But then a thought struck me: would these insights have hit home the same way without the trials and tribulations? Is experience the ultimate teacher, or can we avoid a few bumps in the road with some early advice?"

I like to believe that awareness is half the battle. Even just knowing that certain challenges might pop up on your career path can make a world of difference. Maybe they'll bypass you, or maybe they'll hit you head-on. But if they do, remember this: you're not alone, and armed with these nuggets of wisdom, you've got a head start.

So let's dive in, give these lessons a quick run-through, and keep in mind that we'll be exploring each of them more in-depth in the coming articles. Ready? Let's do this.

1. Embracing Your Authenticity, Despite Judgement:

At the heart of our wisdom-packed list, we face a common challenge: the looming presence of judgement. So, what is this judgement we're talking about? Is it a co-worker's opinion or maybe a boss's perspective? Could it be the collective chorus of voices from those who'll probably fade from your life in a few years? Or might it be the projections of people grappling with their own issues, using you as their screen?

Next time you feel the sting of judgement, hit the pause button and ask yourself: Why am I giving their judgement so much weight? Do they really have the right to hold such power over me?

Judgement can be a sneaky confidence-snatcher, stifling our growth and shaking our sense of self. Sometimes, we wait until we hit a certain age before we say, "Enough! I don't care anymore." But, why should we wait? It's high time we understood that judgements are often more about the person making them than about us. They are reflections of other people's issues, not a measure of our worth or capabilities. And the great news is, we can start shifting our perspective on this right now. Today.

2. Trading Imposter Syndrome for a Growth Mindset:

We've all been there - scrolling through LinkedIn or sitting in a meeting, seeing others' achievements or recognition, and feeling, well, a bit tiny in comparison. This often sends us spiralling down the imposter syndrome rabbit hole, questioning our place and value. As someone who regularly works with clients wrestling with these feelings, I'm no stranger to the 'imposter syndrome' conversation.

Here's the thing I remind my clients of: you were hired for a reason. Your clients chose you for a reason. Feeling like an imposter, especially when you're in a new role or setting, is normal. But let's flip the script on this feeling.

Imposter syndrome whispers to us, "You're not good enough, but you've got to act like you are, right?" But what if we saw it differently? What if this unsettling feeling is actually signalling your awareness of the growth that lies ahead in this role? Think of it as your brain saying, "Woah, there's a lot I don't know here. Time to buckle up and learn!"

So, next time imposter syndrome tries to sneak up on you, consider it a growth mindset alarm instead. It's not a fraud alert; it's your call to growth. And trust me, that's something to celebrate.

3. Trusting Your Intuition:

How often have you found yourself wishing you had listened to that quiet voice within, ie. your intuition? As much as we value facts and data in decision-making, there are times when that gentle internal nudge seems to know more than we consciously do. Your brain has noticed. Your eyes have observed. And they're trying to tell you something you haven't consciously grasped yet.

Your brain is the master of patterns: one of the key theories explaining intuition frames it as a product of pattern recognition. Over time, our brain becomes a seasoned expert at identifying patterns in our environment. When we're in a situation or faced with a decision, our brain gets to work behind the scenes, comparing the situation with patterns we've experienced before. If a match is found, we experience a sudden sense of "knowing," a gut feeling about what will unfold next or what we should do, even if we can't put into words why we feel that way.

There's another angle to understanding intuition, one that revolves around emotions. Emotions and intuition are intricately linked, almost as if they are two halves of the same whole. Neuroscience suggests that our brains assess situations based on our emotional experiences, usually on a subconscious level. This emotional assessment significantly sways our decision-making process. In fact, studies have shown that impairments to the brain's emotional processing centers, like the amygdala, can lead to a disruption in intuitive decision-making.

There's plenty more to learn from neuroscience about the fascinating world of intuition, and we'll dive deeper into that later. But for now, remember this: intuition is real. Trusting your gut isn't just an old saying, it's a tool your brain uses to navigate the world. And it's a tool you might want to reach for more often.

4. Prioritising Self-Care:

One of the most empowering lessons I received from my coach was about the transformative power of self-care. She enlightened me with the truth that my journey could only truly begin when I prioritise my own well-being. It was a radical act of self-love to put myself first. Understanding that self-care isn't a luxury, but an essential pillar for cultivating resilience and balance, was a revelation. Yes, it may seem challenging to grasp at first, but trust me, once you've experienced the rejuvenating power of self-care, there's no turning back. The benefits resonate through every aspect of your life, enriching your physical and mental health.

Now, let's acknowledge a hard truth. So many women, perhaps you too, often push their self-care to the bottom of their to-do list. The needs of everyone else seem to hold precedence. We see this pattern, we recognize it, and perhaps even vent about it. It can feel as if we're caught in an endless loop, waiting for a saviour to rescue us from this overwhelming cycle.

Here's the empowering revelation: you don't need to wait for a saviour. You are your own saviour. The power to change is already within you. It's about recalibrating your priorities, and elevating your own needs to the place of importance they truly deserve. This shift may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it's about fostering a new, healthier habit - one that you've long deserved. It's time to claim the space to care for yourself, because you matter. Your journey to self-care isn't just about looking after yourself, it's about recognizing your inherent worth. Embrace it, because you deserve nothing less.

5. Resisting the Urge to Fit In:

I recall the voices of younger members in my team during my tenure at Amazon, expressing discomfort during meetings with larger groups. They felt their opinions didn't carry weight because of their junior positions, or they felt simply out of place. I understand that, as do many women who have shared their own similar experiences. However, all of us reached a point where we realised that our presence in those rooms was not to echo the voices of others, but to offer a fresh perspective.

There's much discussion about the significance of diversity. But if we all strive to fit in, we risk losing that very diversity. You were selected for your distinct qualities and for the unique insights that no one else can provide. Another shared experience we found while discussing this lesson was how our initial feelings of intimidation rapidly transitioned into an understanding of our potential to push the conversation forward. It's worth remembering that most people around you are also trying to fit in.

When you bring your unique self to the table, you make room for authentic exchanges and innovative ideas. So, let's start owning our individuality instead of trying to fit into a predefined mould.

6. Daring to Take Risks: The idea of taking risks was a recurring theme in the lessons many women wish they had grasped earlier. This can be challenging, especially when we're at the beginning of our career journey, eager to blend in and ascend the professional ladder bit by bit.

However, it's important to note that not all risks are created equal. For some, embracing calculated risks could be the perfect strategy. When I mention 'calculated', I'm referring to the act of envisioning your future self and making decisions that align with this vision. If realising that vision means accepting the risks that lie before you, then by all means, seize the opportunity. In this context, you're not just blindly taking a risk. Instead, you're executing a carefully conceived plan, driven by a clear and defined goal.

Stepping outside your comfort zone doesn't necessarily mean risking it all. Perhaps, it's about boldly stepping into the world, armed with a clear vision.

7. Redefining Failure:

For many of us, the notion of failure is perceived as something to dodge at all costs, often seen as a humiliating chapter in our journey or past. Yet, the narrative needs to change.

In my interactions with startup founders, I've repeatedly encouraged them to not just acknowledge their failures, but openly discuss them with their teams and investors. Experiencing failure is a crucial part of the learning curve, rich with lessons we hopefully won't have to relearn.

When I stress the importance of embracing failure, I emphasise my personal investment philosophy - I'd much rather put my faith and funds in someone who has experienced failure and learnt from it, as opposed to someone who shies away from taking risks, from experiencing failure, and more importantly, from opening up about these experiences and sharing their learnings.

8. Advocating for Yourself:

Speaking up for your desires in your career - be it salary negotiations or participation in a specific project - is a struggle many women face. Reflecting on this, it appears that our fears, often stemming from potential judgement or our own lack of comfort in asserting ourselves, are the primary roadblocks.

So, it's time for introspection. Ask yourself, what's the actual barrier here? Is it a lack of confidence because it's unfamiliar territory? Remember, practice fosters ease. The more you advocate for yourself, the more natural it will feel. The question then becomes, how do you do it?

Depending on what you're aiming for, stick to the facts and prepare thoroughly. If your request is reasonable and presented professionally, then you've achieved your initial goal: you've advocated for yourself. You may not immediately get what you want, but you've expressed your desires, and they are now known.

Often, I've had mentees share their career aspirations with me, only to realise they hadn't yet voiced these ambitions to their managers. Unless you learn to articulate your ambitions and demonstrate your commitment to achieving them, no one will intuitively perceive your goals and help you ascend to them. This principle applies across the board. If you don't assertively and professionally express your desires, and plan for them, they certainly won't materialise. It's on you to tip the odds in your favour.

As we conclude, let's take a moment to acknowledge the profound value of collective wisdom. The insights we've discussed are more than just lessons to consider; they're life-changers that offer the potential for personal and professional transformation.

In my coaching practice, I've often seen how awareness of these fundamental truths can impact a woman's career journey, even when blended with the intricacies of neuroscience. When you comprehend how your brain functions in the face of judgement or imposter syndrome, it offers an additional layer of understanding and power. You become not just the captain of your career, but the architect of your mental landscape.

Now, here's the call to action: don't just read these lessons and nod along. Embrace them. Reflect on them. Integrate them into your daily life. Because awareness may be half the battle, but action is the other half. It's easy to bemoan the trials we encounter, but it's infinitely more rewarding to take the helm and steer towards growth and fulfilment.

So, as you set out to navigate the maze of your career, remember that you're equipped with the wisdom and tools to sidestep pitfalls and seize opportunities. You're not just climbing ladders; you're building them, one rung at a time.

I look forward to diving deeper into each of these topics in future articles. But for now, know that you are empowered, you are capable, and you are not alone on this journey.

Here's to a path filled with less regret and more empowerment. Ready to embrace your extraordinary? Let's take that first step, together.

With love + support,

Sonia

aidacoaching.com

P.S. If you found value in this article, feel free to share it with your network, tag me, sign up to my newsletter and let's keep the wisdom flowing. Your journey, much like this conversation, is better when it's shared.