Principles for Success (8) Aim to Become a Giver, not Just to Make a Living

Why Give?

When I think about the topic of “success," or “principles for success,” I often think about “charisma.” I think of “charisma” like a perfume, a scent you carry with you everywhere. Charisma is also a sort of magnetism, an ability to attract others to your position and way of thinking. Having charisma allows you to achieve things you will never be able to achieve alone.?

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I am sure there are a thousand ways to enhance your charisma, your likeability, your popularity. But in this letter, I will share one way that is particularly effective. This principle is the eighth principle of the ten principles for success I am sharing: Aim to become a giver, not just to make a living. As you give, do it not for your own benefit, but to uplift others. This principle has helped me in good times and in bad times. It is a principle that I still use to guide my life today.

As I shared in the first principle for success – a grateful heart – my initial drive for academic success came from gratitude to my parents and encouragement from my teacher in elementary school. I didn’t know where I would go but trusted what my teacher said, that there was a better life waiting for me somewhere else.

My parents told me that whenever I wanted to drop out of school, they’d welcome me home to help them work on the farm. When I was anxious about exams, my dad always told me whenever life became too hard outside home, I could go back home because there was a piece of farm waiting for me. They believed that if I was hard-working and responsible then I could make a living farming vegetables, like the majority of the people do in my hometown.?

My motivation of wanting to succeed in academia came in part from my desire to become a giver. If I didn’t study hard and pursue an alternative life path, I could take the easier path, get married, and be taken care of by my husband. My life might be fine but there was no guarantee as to how much I could give to others, including my family.

The Legitimate Needs that Prompted Me to Want to Give

I wanted more in my life than just having my own needs taken care of. I wanted to become a giver to my family and to others. This intention was actually well justified given the life circumstance I was in when I was a child: we lived in a house where the roof would leak on rainy summer days; we shared one umbrella for six people; our shoes and clothing were almost entirely homemade. There were days I stayed home and missed school because I didn’t have shoes for the rainy weather! Sound ridiculous? All of our shoes made by my mother were 100% cotton. She used old fabrics, worn-out clothes to make soles (usually glued with cooled flour soup – homemade glue) sown back and forth with a thick cotton thread. The front of the shoes for spring through fall were made with thick fabric with some elastic material, whereas the front of the shoes for winter were made with cotton-padded strong fabric to help keep the cold out.

When I was a kid, we didn’t have many snacks to eat. I dreamed one day I would be able to afford a room full of instant noodles! Now I know it’s one of the least healthy foods. Thankfully, most of the foods we consumed were healthy grains and the vegetables we farmed. Gaining weight was never a concern.?

The Rock at USYD - Transitioning from a Farmgirl to a World Shaker

Some people may think I am smart when they hear I have had so much schooling. I know though that school takes a lot of hard work. There were a million times I had thought about giving up because it was so hard. I was homesick in college in China. I was homesick in Australia. I struggled to make ends meet for years. I got sick. I got into a car crash in America which almost crushed my dreams, my ambitions, and my desire to become successful. But at the core of me, the desire of wanting to become a giver has sustained my drive to succeed. The reason I’m writing these letters publicly is because I want to “shake the world in a gentle way” – to encourage and help millions of people worldwide to become happier, more confident, and more successful. This idea comes from a rock sitting outside the University of Sydney in Forest Lodge on which it says: “In a gentle way, you can shake the world. – Gandhi"

I just don’t like giving up, period. In some way, I feel it’s a lifestyle and a habit I have formed from years of overcoming difficulties, working against odds, and facing countless headwinds. I may mess up big. I may make mistakes. But I am motivated because I want to be a giver and I have been a giver. My desire to be a giver has helped me accomplish more goals than I would have if I only was living for myself.?

Wanting to be a giver surely keeps me moving forward.?

I Exist to Motivate Millions to Do the Impossible

I believe great things are going to happen. The message I want to send out is loud and clear: If I can do it, so can you! You can become happier. You can become more confident. You can become more successful. You can become someone respectable with high self-esteem even if you started with nothing.?

Whoever sees this letter and follows me, I invite you to join me and become a world shaker. These letters are just the beginning of my content creation. Greater things are yet to come.?

NEXT:?

Principles for Success 9: Be Laser-focused at Times of Need