#76 Letter to My Former Self: Powerful Coaching Insights for Personal Growth

Introduction: The Power of Self-Reflection

As coaches and mentors, we often encourage our clients to look towards the future, setting goals and envisioning their ideal selves. However, there's immense value in looking back and acknowledging how far we've come. This article explores the powerful exercise of writing a letter to your former self, sharing insights from my own experience and inviting you to embark on this journey of self-discovery.

My Letter to My Former Self

Recently, during my last business coaching group call before the summer break, I challenged my clients to write a letter to their former selves. To lead by example, I decided to share my own letter, addressed to my 23-year-old self. Here's what I wrote:

"Dear Joanna,

You have no idea that you will become more than you ever thought possible. You will go on a journey that pushes every limit you currently have in place. They are all of your own making and you can truly push against these imaginary boundaries.

You will speak up and be loved by others for who you are. For your realness and vulnerability. You don't need to worry about going red. Soon that won't be a thing for you anymore. You will be so deeply connected and tuned into others that you will have no time or concern to be self-conscious.

You will realise that everyone needs support. No one has it sussed. They are just the same as you. You will learn that we all carry trauma, whether that's through generations or small incidents that we place meaning on which aren't necessarily true.

You will learn that you have a unique purpose and people need to hear your voice and your way of sharing. You will learn that those strengths that you currently see in your strengths finder assessment, or that your boss tells you in your performance development review, that you refuse to believe are true, are actually true.

You have an ability to connect with people quickly and to feel their feelings. This isn't always a good thing as you feel too much for others and you can't run around the track for them, no matter how hard you try.

I want to assure you that you will find your own path. And that it's all a journey where one step will lead to the next. But you must keep being courageous and keep taking those steps. To draw a line in the sand when you realise old stories are no longer true for you. When they are something that you need to leave behind to move to your next evolution.

That you are here for big things, and you cannot do those things while you undervalue yourself and your ideas. That your voice is worth listening to. That you matter. That you can make a difference to others, no matter how sorted you think they are, because they need you to raise your voice to make a difference."

Key Insights from My Letter

Reflecting on this letter to my former self, several key insights emerge:

• The power of pushing boundaries: Our limitations are often self-imposed, and we have the ability to push past them.
• Embracing vulnerability: Being authentic and vulnerable can lead to deeper connections with others.
• Universal struggles: Everyone faces challenges and needs support, regardless of outward appearances.
• Recognising personal strengths: It's important to acknowledge and believe in our own strengths and abilities.
• The journey of self-discovery: Finding our path is a step-by-step process that requires courage and persistence.
• The importance of self-value: Undervaluing ourselves can hold us back from achieving our full potential.
• Making a difference: Our unique voice and perspective matter and can positively impact others.

The Impact of Self-Reflection on Personal Growth

Writing a letter to my former self was a powerful exercise in self-reflection. It highlighted how far I've come and the growth I've experienced over the years. This process can be incredibly valuable for several reasons:

- Recognising progress: It allows us to see how much we've grown and evolved.

- Identifying patterns: We can spot recurring themes or challenges in our lives.

- Boosting confidence: Acknowledging our achievements can bolster self-esteem.

- Gaining perspective: It helps us view past struggles with newfound wisdom.

- Cultivating gratitude: We can appreciate the journey that has shaped us.

- Motivating future growth: It inspires us to continue pushing boundaries and evolving.

How to Write Your Own Letter

If you're inspired to write your own letter to your former self, here's a simple guide to get you started:

1. Choose a specific age or time in your past to address.

2. Find a quiet, comfortable space to reflect and write.

3. Begin with "Dear [Your Name]," to make it personal.

4. Write from the heart, sharing insights, encouragement and wisdom.

5. Focus on growth, lessons learned and positive changes.

6. Be honest and vulnerable about challenges you've overcome.

7. Offer reassurance and support to your younger self.

8. Conclude with words of encouragement for the journey ahead.

Remember, this letter is for you. Be as open and honest as you feel comfortable being. There's no right or wrong way to do this exercise – the most important thing is that it resonates with you and helps you gain valuable insights.

Conclusion: Embracing Your Journey

Writing a letter to my former self was a powerful reminder of how far I've come and the growth I've experienced because it highlighted the importance of pushing past limiting beliefs, embracing vulnerability and recognising our own strengths and abilities.

This exercise isn't just nostalgic; it's an important tool for self-reflection and growth in your business and your whole life. By connecting with your past self, you can see how far you've come, appreciate the skills and experience you've gained, and build the motivation to move towards your next evolution.

I encourage you to take some time to write your own letter to your former self. Reflect on your journey, acknowledge your growth and offer words of wisdom and encouragement to your younger self. You might be surprised by the insights you gain and the boost of confidence it gives you.

And if you would be comfortable sharing your letter to your former self with me, I would love to read it.

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