#7 You Can’t be Everything to Everybody

There are many books and tools that articulate the characteristics of a “Leader” versus a “Boss”, or that describes what Servant Leadership is, and of course we have read the research stating most people don’t leave jobs because they don’t like the company, they leave because they don’t like their boss. If you read about how to be a “good” Manager or Leader of team, it seems the common theme is that it requires A LOT of time if you want to do this well.

As a Manager, you must think about your responsibilities as two-fold:

First, what do you have to do to LEAD the team. These responsibilities include things like:

-??????? Ensure everyone is rowing in the same direction or following the same strategy.

-??????? Clearly communicate the team’s priorities so no one gets distracted.

-??????? Track progress and measure results so everyone knows if the team is achieving necessary results.

-??????? Build the culture of your team, whatever you want that to be. Do you want people to brainstorm and ideate together? Do you want them to learn & reapply from each other? You must intentionally build the culture you strive to have.

Secondly, you are responsible for helping each individual with their career. These activities are different than above and focus on:

-??????? Giving and receiving feedback so there are no surprises in performance reviews.

-??????? Helping them build skills necessary for their short- and long-term success.

-??????? Coach them on their career aspirations, potentially leveraging your network to help build theirs.

How can you carve out the time to properly give each person what they need, in a way to which they are receptive, ensuring everyone is delivering the against the needs of the business? With a team, you have questions, concerns, and feedback coming from all directions and sounds something like: ?

• “Can you read and respond the email I sent you an hour ago?”
• “Why do you send emails in the evenings and weekends if it’s not urgent?”
• “I don’t think my Manager likes me, they only talk business in our weekly connects and never asks me anything about my personal life”.
• “I am a private person, why does my Manager ask me what I did on the weekend?”
• “Can I work from Florida for 6 months?”
• “I don’t feel like we do enough team bonding, how about weekly Happy Hours?”
• “Why can’t my Manager just leave me alone and let me do my work?”
• “My Manager isn’t available to answer questions when I need help, and always cancels my weekly connects.”

Admittedly, I did laugh to myself when I write those, but they are REAL statements from people that have worked with me in the past, or that I have Mentored. People have different preferences, and you must fit your own needs into the equation as well. How do you do this? I don’t have a magic bullet on this one, but I will share the advice I received from respected Manager and Mentors, or what I witnessed wonderful Managers do with their teams:

1.????? Ask questions! When you first meet someone, ask them about their preferred styles, what they need from you, how they like to communicate and on what frequency, etc. This is a lot of information, but you need to be intentional on this topic.

2.????? Be open with your style and techniques when you meet new team members. Use this time to set expectations. For example, I would tell every new person I work with the hours they can find me in the office, but that I leave promptly at a certain time to be with my kids. That means that I caught up on email for an or so in the evening – so they might receive emails from me, but I do not need anyone to read or respond. If anything was truly urgent, I would call. I hoped this would avoid any stress from those that don’t like checking emails outside the office. Or maybe share that you prefer texting for quick Q&A vs. emails, or phone calls, etc. I will say from personal experience, this doesn’t always work. I had people complaining about receiving emails at night and asked if I could put a “Delivery Delay” on my outgoing emails so it arrived in their inbox in the morning. I did this for about 2 days and realized it was taking too much time (yes, 30 seconds per emails added up to be more time than I was willing to spend) …so I was OK to accept the consequences of this choice.

3.????? Realize one size does not fit all. If you read the verbatim statements above, you will notice they contradict each other, because each person has different opinions. You must adjust your management style and tactics depending on your team and the individuals on it. How much experience do they have? Do they bring all the right skills to be successful or is there something they need to proactively work on? Understand enough about their personal situation to understand how they balance work and life.

4.????? You job is to give direction if you manage a team, not micro-manage…unless there is an issue. You must be involved and aware enough to know when there are issues that require more attention from you. In such cases, you should jump in and partner with the individual to resolve the issue. Could be a need for training, clarification with a colleague, adjusting the work schedule, etc.

5.????? Communication is important! If you don’t have strong written and verbal communication skills, you need to invest in building this skill. As a Manager, you are responsible for disseminating information to your team and advocating for your people with leaders at the company…both require solid communication skills.

All that being said, in my experience, I still had people working for me that didn’t appreciate my approach. We just weren’t a good fit at work. Over time, I got OK with that, because it is only about 5% of the people over many years. So instead of fighting it, most often we jointly decided to explore other roles within the company that would be a better fit. Either because of the type of work, or with a Manager that had a different style. That is OK too!! Give yourself some grace because you cannot be everything to everyone!

Do you have other tips on how to be a “good” Manager? Please share in comments!

Next month’s topic: #8 Personal Care

3/6/2024 #advicematters #mentorship #takeitorleaveit