#7: Why Relationships Matter More Than Ever

...building community and deepening connection during times of turbulence

Hello my friend,

What. A. Week. (Understatement of the decade?)

I woke up to the results last Wednesday morning and dove head-first into my various social feeds, immediately falling down a rabbit hole of disbelief, disappointment, and despair. I received a steady stream of texts and DMs from friends throughout the morning expressing the same feelings and checking to see how I was handling the news, but for the first few hours all I could respond with was “f*ck.”

But come midday, a disarming sense of calm and purpose washed over me. I realized that I had something of value that I could offer people feeling unmoored and uncertain about how to proceed - Knowledge of how to use The 3Cs to build a community around themselves that makes them feel safe, seen, and supported.

For more than a decade I've been building and scaling communities, preaching the power of collaboration, and teaching people how to connect more deeply with themselves and others. While I've always known that the work I'm doing is wildly important, it's never felt this time-sensitive or applicable to so many all at once.?

So I got to work.?

24 hours later, I hosted the first free Community Q&A session called, “Building Your Apocalypse Coven” where around 40 people gathered to share their fears, reactions, and questions about what to do next, and I offered some wisdom on curating community and nurturing meaningful, values-aligned relationships.?

Less than a week after that, I hosted another Community Q&A on “How to Find Your People”. This session was more workshop than a support group and included actionable frameworks for seeking new connections, strengthening casual acquaintances, and asking for aligned introductions from your friends.?

I'm hosting at least one more session in this series next Wednesday the 20th at 11am PST on “Cultivating Connection & Deepening Your Relationships" where I'll share strategies for sparking connection with new friends, strengthening bonds with existing ones, reviving dormant relationships, and recognizing when it’s time to release people who no longer align with your goals and values. If you'd like to join, add your email to the list here.

While hosting these sessions felt impactful and was a much-needed distraction from election hot takes, I've also been grappling with the harsh reality that there are some times when seeking the overlap with someone is no longer in our best interest, especially when your values are completely misaligned. If the reaction to my video about the misinterpretation of the idiom, “blood is thicker than water” is any indication, I'm not alone. Now more than ever it's imperative that you build community with people who make you feel safe, seen, and supported.??

If that feels overwhelming, just remember - I've got you.

Your mission (should you choose to accept it):

Reach out to one person this weekend who has made you feel safe, seen, and supported, either currently or in the past. Thank them for having your back and see if you can do anything to return the favor. At best it'll reignite your relationship and strengthen your connection, and at worst it'll make their day and remind you that you are worthy of being in community with good humans who accept you as you are.

Want some 1:1 support in making a plan for building, nurturing, and leveraging relationships in your career and life? Book a 90-minute 3Cs Strategy Session with me!

Curate Community

Not sure where to go to find “your people”? Use the "Give, Grow, Get" approach:

• Give: Join communities where you can contribute your time or expertise, like volunteer groups, mentoring programs, or nonprofit organizations.
• Grow: Explore spaces that encourage personal or professional development, such as book clubs, skill-building workshops, or industry meetups.
• Get: Find networks where you can gain support or mentorship, like mastermind groups, support circles, or career-focused organizations.

This approach helps you connect with groups that share your goals and values, making it easier to forge authentic relationships with like-minded people.

Cultivate Connection

Looking to strengthen your relationships? Take these steps to move from casual to meaningful:

• Turn a “could be” connection into something more: Start small with gestures like saying hello or chatting with someone you see regularly, like the barista at your favorite coffee shop or a neighbor on your daily walk.
• Move a casual connection into the friend zone: Take the next step by spending quality time together—invite a coworker to lunch, suggest a coffee chat with a neighbor, or ask a fellow parent to join you for a walk after school drop-off.
• Reignite a dormant relationship: Reach out to a former coworker you haven’t spoken to in a while or reconnect with an old friend from college. A quick message or invitation to catch up can rekindle your bond.

These intentional steps can turn casual acquaintances into fulfilling, long-term connections.

Catalyze Collaboration

Want to grow your network without doing all the heavy lifting? Use referrals and introductions to expand your reach with ease:

• Be clear about what you’re seeking: When requesting an introduction, specify the type of person or expertise you’re looking for. This makes it easier for your contact to connect you with someone relevant.
• Leverage mutual trust: Introductions often come with built-in credibility. A recommendation from someone you trust can help establish rapport more quickly.
• Offer to return the favor: Networking works both ways. Be open to connecting others in your circle, creating a ripple effect of collaboration and goodwill.

Thoughtful introductions pave the way for partnerships and relationships that benefit everyone involved.

Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. and read my reflections on each episode on the Seeking the Overlap Substack ??

New Episodes

Ep 8: When It’s Okay to Stop Seeking the Overlap (11/9/24)

In episode 8, I talked about something deeply personal and close to my heart. As someone who’s made it her mission to “seek the overlap”—to find common ground even where differences run deep—I've had to confront the challenging reality that not every connection is worth preserving. Especially in today’s world, where politics, social issues, and personal values can feel like insurmountable divides, it's sometimes necessary to step back for the sake of our own peace and well-being.

I shared:

• Why setting boundaries isn’t about giving up, but about protecting your well-being
• The true meaning of “blood is thicker than water” and what it says about chosen relationships
• Three clear signs it’s time to stop seeking the overlap
• How to curate a community that supports and uplifts you
• The importance of pruning relationships to make space for new, healthy connections

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Ep 7: Planting and Cultivating Seeds of Vision (10/27/24)

In episode 7, I sit down with global motivational speaker and my Showcase Your Shine co-creator, AJ Sarcione , to discuss the keys to creating deeper, more authentic relationships.

We discussed:

• Planting seeds in relationships for long-term impact
• Finding common ground with people who are different from you
• Letting go of judgment to foster trust and connection
• Aligning your internal values with your external actions
• How resilience opens doors to meaningful opportunities

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??? LA Luminary Member Meetup - November 20th, 5-7pm, Bacari on 3rd

Come meet like-minded people who value connection and growth at this month's Luminary Member Meetup. Even if you're not a Luminary member (yet), it's all good - you can come as my guest. Drinks and bites are on you, but the good vibes and connections are on us ?? (Register here)

??? Speaker Positioning: Using podcasts appearances to promote yourself as a speaker and authority - November 21st, 12-1pm, Zoom

I'm joining the one and only Toni Purry for the next BRA Network SpeakHer's Blueprint session to talk about the process of leveraging podcast appearances to build your?personal brand, gain visibility as an authority in your?field, and position yourself?as a sought-after speaker. It's free for BRA members and $35 for everyone else. (Register here)?

?? Overlap Collective Community Database

The desire to be in community with like-minded humans is on the rise, but with a seemingly infinite number of communities out there, it can feel overwhelming to find the right one to join. So, I've started a database to help wrangle the best ones as recommended by people in my community. If you'd like to add one (or more), you can submit it here.?

?? From Mingling to Meaning: Creating High-Impact Networking Events

I joined Phil Mershon , Audette Sophia , and Michaela Alexis on a panel earlier this week to explore how intentionality, creativity, and inclusivity can transform networking events into truly impactful experiences. We shared practical strategies for helping attendees build meaningful connections, including the importance of pre-event preparation, diverse networking formats, and interactive tools that make connection easier and more authentic. (Recap + Replay)

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?? A Bit Much: Poems, By Lyndsay Rush

Better known by her Instagram handle, @maryoliversdrunkcousin, Lyndsay Rush 's debut book of poetry was a moving, delightful, and silly read that I finished on the flight home from my 40th birthday trip to Mexico City. There's simply nobody punnier than her, but just as quickly as you're giggling at one line you're tearing up at the next. It's the perfect book to pick up whenever you need a dose of levity and tenderness during these dark (literally) days.?

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?? Post-Election Family Meeting, We Can Do Hard Things Podcast

It feels like I promote this podcast more than I promote my own, but what can I say - we have to do so many hard things that it comes in handy more than I wish it did! This episode gave me the comfort and wisdom I needed in the wake of the election, so I'm sharing it with you in the event that you need a little of that yourself.?

• Maxie McCoy is a WSJ bestselling ghostwriter and facilitator of stories who works with thought leaders, experts, and entertainers to bring their best to the page across mediums, as well as the author of YOU'RE NOT LOST, named the best career book in 2019 by Refinery29. Maxie and I met over a decade ago when I was doing partnerships at General Assembly and she was the Director of Local Levo at Levo League . Maxie was the first person I thought to reach out to for advice as I began to write my book proposal, so we had the opportunity to catch up over Zoom last month.
• John Moser is an Account Executive at Justworks , a VC-backed HR and benefits platform that simplifies and streamlines the needs of small and medium-sized businesses. John and I met in September at the Small Business Training Camp hosted by Luminary x Justworks x Angel City Football Club and got to grab lunch IRL a few weeks ago where we talked about the intersection of sales/biz dev and intentional relationship building (among other things!)
• Toni Purry is the author of My Hype Book and the founder of Shaping Narrative, a speaker development and media training company that guides executives through an immersive process of harnessing the power of narrative and effectively raising brand awareness by articulating company messaging with clarity and confidence. Toni and I originally met in the summer of 2017 at a Bossladies Worksesh and we've been friends ever since. Anytime Toni and I get together, we know to block off no less than 3 hours on our calendars, and that still wasn't enough time when we got together for lunch a few weeks ago ??.
• Kim Dominique Agnew is the Founder & Chief Creative Officer of Blue Sky Black Sheep, a launchpad for those who seek to turn their ideas and creativity into content, products, and experiences (they also host the amazing writing group I've been participating in for over 6 years now!) Kim and I also had a marathon lunch last week where we dreamed and schemed up a new creative collaboration ?

Wishing you a weekend full of ease, joy, and quality time with “your people”. Even (and especially) when things feel hard, enjoying the things and people you love can be an act of resistance. ?

PS - Here's my question for you this week:?

What's one community, group, or circle you're already part of that you can engage with more intentionally this week??

Baily Hancock ?? Professional Friend-Maker is a Connection Strategist, Keynote Speaker, and Host of the “Seeking the Overlap” Podcast?dedicated to helping people build reciprocal relationships and collaborative communities where they feel safe, seen, and supported in both work and life.?Head to OverlapCollective.com to learn more, or say hello in the comments below!