7 Ways to Improve Your Life Using NLP Techniques
Aisling Smith NeuroEmpowerment
?? Neurodiversity Trainer of the Year ???40U40 ?? Professional Speaker ?? Workplace NeuroInclusion and Employee NeuroEmpowerment Specialist ?? ?? AuDHD Mom - Author - Coach ?? Supporting Late Diagnosed Professionals
Many have called NLP the User Manual to the Brain. It teaches you how your brain works and how to use it on purpose to achieve your desired goals and outcomes.
What does NLP stand for???
The N stands for Neuro which means relating to the nervous system. The information we take in through our senses influences our neurological function.?
The L stands for Linguistic and it’s about language.? It refers to how we code our thoughts and the information we take in from the world around us; how we express our thoughts and ideas to others not only through words but also the way they spoke (voice tone, rhythm, speed).
The P stands for Programming, here refers to habits. It teaches how we can program our brain and body to react to various internal thoughts and external information to produce better results and develop new habits.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming draws a connection between the neurological functions of the brain and the social function of language and the consequent effect on the way people behave. It can help you control your mind, realize your potential and achieve your goals through simple and proven techniques.
In short, if you change the way you speak, it will have a domino effect on the way you think and behave. Likewise, if you change a thought pattern it will manifest itself through language and behaviour.
NLP techniques can be very effective in changing the way you experience the world, find out which ones can help you improve your personal and professional life by reading down below.
A lot of people suffer because they live in their past, they can’t let go of what hurt them. Affirmations here hardly can work as our brain can sense when we lie to ourselves or simply, our subconscious mind doesn’t believe us when we say “I let it go” or “it doesn’t hurt me anymore”. The most effective way to stop your past from putting you down is to reframe it. A phrase that I often tell my clients which summarizes what reframe means is “there is no failure, only feedback”, it’s extremely powerful when you start reframing your life according to this statement. It stops you from beating yourself up and losing the fear of failure! How about having a more neutral reaction and simply learning from our mistakes to do better next time?
This technique is vastly used with people who experienced traumas. Yes, it is not fair what happened to them but they can change that hopeless feeling and stop seeing themselves as a victim by looking at the story from another point of view. They learn to reframe their story in a way it will benefit them.??
It encourages you to think differently about situations in which you felt disempowered, victimized or out of control. The technique allows you to view negative situations in a new light and see that it is possible to have positive outcomes from seemingly hopeless and frustrating situations.
2. Change your beliefs?
We start creating our own map of beliefs, assumptions and opinions since childhood. These beliefs guide and affect our everyday life. More often we are not even aware of certain beliefs we have because they just look like “that’s how things have always been”, it’s just part of our reality and routine. But if we stop for a second and start asking ourselves why we do what we do at the root of it there is always a belief. Beliefs shape our actions and what actions we take shape our outcomes.?
All of us have a complex system of beliefs and assumptions within our minds, some of these beliefs are inherited from the society we grew up in and others are our own distinctive creation. An individual’s beliefs constitute their unique word view.?
The problem with beliefs is that some of them might be limiting us and holding us back from achieving what we are truly capable of. We all heard “I don’t have enough time or money to pursue my dream” or “I am not good enough”, “I am not pretty or thin enough”, these are all limiting beliefs and the list can go on and on. Most people stop dreaming or they never start their project because their head is full of limiting beliefs.
Start by analyzing the why of your actions and find your core beliefs that drive your everyday actions and thoughts. Are your beliefs making you progress in life or just go in circles?
Identify which ones are not beneficial for your growth and face it, fight it and replace it with new ones. Remember, there is never the right way or a pre-designed way of doing and seeing things in order for you to reach your goals, you have to find your own way. Keep an open mind and be flexible.?
3. Make instant connections
One of the key elements for a happier and successful life is relationships.
Mirroring is an NLP technique that will help you make instant connections and build rapport with anyone. It is the mimicking of behaviours of the person with whom you are communicating.
When you are mirroring someone, it is really difficult for them, on a subconscious level, to dislike you.
When you are talking to someone, mirror your body language to theirs. You can mirror and match their posture, facial expressions, gestures and more. If they are high in energy, match that energy level. If their body language is relaxed, reflect that. You can even change the words you choose to use to match their vocabulary.
The other person will automatically find you more trustworthy because you are just like them.
To be effective with mirroring you need to use discretion. You do not want the other person to know what you are doing. Use mirroring and matching action a few seconds after your subject.
4. Control your emotions
We all have “bad days” when we just feel down and unmotivated and it’s more likely to happen on our busiest days, so how can we bring back calmness and feel motivated?
I teach the anchoring technique to all my clients as it is crucial for their success to know how to motivate themselves, bring themselves to a calm state of mind or just bring feelings of happiness back.
This method is essential for pulling up a certain emotion or putting yourself in a particular state of mind. It works by associating emotion with physical action.
For example, if you want to bring back motivation, you would start by thinking about times you were thriving and feeling really motivated. Think of how it felt and go into a lot of detail. Recall the moment and the feelings, the colours, the sounds, the smells, the place you were in, what you were doing, etc. You should be able to “watch it in your head”.
Next, hold your left index and middle fingers in your right hand. You want to give them two squeezes. On the second squeeze, think of that specific moment and try to multiply the feeling. Once again describe how you feel, what you are thinking and press your fingers twice. As you press the second time, let the feeling of motivation double. Do this five times. Later on, you can use those emotions to bring back that sense of motivation.
5. Learn new skills?
Learning a new skill can be challenging especially if we don’t know where to start and feel lost.?
By observing how successful people use their resources you can assume their behaviours and habits and learn faster.
Many successful people suggest using the modelling technique, where you go look for the ones who do it best and study them, find out what they did and start doing it yourselves. If you can get a mentor, go for it, otherwise, watch their videos, read their books study and copy until you find your own way, your own voice and style.
?Modelling is one of the principles by which we learn. Changing your surroundings so that you are surrounded by people that are better than you will create an environment of learning and improvement.
6. Improve communication
If you want to improve your communication skills you first need to become a better listener. Too often we talk without even trying to listen to the other person. We all just want to express ourselves, our thoughts and ideas and we don’t really care about understanding what others say to us.
Start paying attention to the words the other party is using. To better communicate with the person in front of you, first, you have to understand their personality.?
Some individuals react better to visual stimuli so you need to show them photos and images to bring your point across, others have to hear the information in order to understand it better and some people need to feel things before understanding them.
NLP can teach you how to stop focusing on yourself during your conversation with other people. Once you direct your attention away from yourself, the other party is going to notice & appreciate that.?
As the trust between you and the other party grows, so will the relationship.
7. Solve your problems?
When paying attention to your problems, you end up focusing more attention on the wrong and unwanted things rather than the things you actually desire.?
The result of focusing on your problems is that you end up looking for the symptoms and the causes of your problems. This causes regressions, and you might never reach your goals.
The ‘Outcome Frame’ is about evaluating events in the light of the desired outcomes or goals you have set for yourself. Start focusing on the outcome and go backwards to find out how to achieve what you want to achieve.?
For the Outcome Frame to work, you need to start asking yourself questions like:
This change in focus drives the brain to find options for achieving that outcome.
Conclusion
Neuro-linguistic programming involves techniques and strategies that allow you to reach your subconscious and reprogram your mind to change for the better. If you want to excel at what you do and you want to achieve your goals and dreams, NLP can be a good practice to help you improve your life.
If you want to know more about NLP and take the next step in your life jump on a call with me https://www.theinstituteofempoweredpsychology.com/discovery-call
About the Author;
Aisling Smith Vance is a Neuro Trainer, Hypnotherapist, High-Performance Coach, Author and Speaker who focuses on helping Men and Women who are fed up and burnt out, get to the next level in their careers and life. She does this through one-on-one coaching, online courses and group training, as well as executive training in businesses for companies who know the value of their employees and want to harness and maximise their potential. Aisling is also the Co-Founder of The Institute of Empowered Psychology which provides online and in-person training in Life Coaching, Hypnotherapy and Neuro-Linguistic Programming. The Institute of Empowered Psychology Train, Certify and Support Students in creating successful Coaching Businesses and reaching $10k months therein.