7 Ways To Add Meaning To Your Life

“We can see farther when we stand on the shoulders of a giant.”

Recently I was listening to a Jordan Peterson podcast in which he articulated seven things that one should do to give meaning to their life.?I was impressed, as I usually am, with this psychologist and intellectual giant.?

To my mind living a life without meaning is the primary cause of emotional problems. Viktor Frankl, the creator of Logotherapy, formulated an entire therapeutic system around our search for meaning.?He asserted that the frustration of our search for meaning creates an “existential vacuum” which becomes filled with “depression, aggression, or addiction.” There is no shortage of these problems in our society today. So here, standing on Dr. Peterson’s shoulders, is my presentation of his seven suggestions along with my commentary.

[1] "Have a committed intimate relationship."

Intimate relationships are where the rubber meets the road in terms of our emotional well being. Humans long to be intimate, to share their lives, to stand naked before someone and feel accepted and loved. History records that the first institution was marriage.?It also records, despite political movements to the contrary, that the family is the fundamental unit of human society.?Like it or not, it’s simply true.

The road to a committed and intimate relationship is bumpy. It contains many curves.?At times it is dangerous. Yes, there are many accidents. It is, however, one of the proven ways to a meaningful life.

[2] "Have a friend that you can be honest and playful with."

Having a good friend that we can be honest with ensures that we will not come to believe our own exaggerations. We show the world our best happy face, but friendships allow us to be sincere, painfully honest, and playful, even silly. Having a friend can be difficult, and in the age of “social” media, it is increasingly becoming a lost art.

Having a friend is not something you get from an app, being “liked” is not a thumbs-up image on a computer, and communication is not an emoji which is essentially a digital cave drawing. Friendship is one of life’s most rewarding experiences.?

[3] "Get a job or career."

It seems like we have generated a “diagnosis” for every known human behavior except living in your parents' basement.?Many self-help solutions to this problem have led to sleeping on your best friend’s couch.?Sadly, what is actually needed is a job or career.

Industry is an important part of human existence.?Whether learning to use fire or finding out the uses of the wheel, people have always discovered meaning in the world of work.?Not so much today.

Living in an abundant, semi-socialist society has convinced some people that work is optional, or basically unnecessary. It is simply an inconvenient truth that politics changes much quicker that human nature. Having a job or career is much more than a means to an end. It is a way of interacting with the society in which we live.?It promotes physical and emotional well being.

[4] "Be productive and engaging during your free time."

Assuming you have a job or career, you inevitably will have free time. So, why not waist it? In consumer societies, it seems to me, wasting time could easily become an Olympic event.?It would be at least as interesting as curling.

Not spending your free time in a productive and engaging manner is like leaving your front door open and going on vacation. You never know who might decide to visit.?Idle hands are the devil's workshop. Filling your life with meaning requires engaging in activities that have meaning to you.?Read a book, learn a language, rescue a dog.?Got it?

[5] "Regulate your susceptibility to hedonistic temptations."

Over-eating, drinking, recreational drugs, obsessive consumerism, casual sex, does it get any better than that? The richest societies, that feature the greatest number of hedonistic pleasures, are also the most miserable. Why? Because hedonistic pleasures are, by definition, a bottomless pit of never satisfied desires. The more of them we experience the more we desire.

To be sure, our consumer economy has helped us to become obsessed with “happiness.”?It is as if not being happy is the same as being sad.?Not so.?This concept has us on a consumer hamster wheel. We get nowhere at great expense. Be aware of these temptations and regulate your behavior.

[6] "Pay attention to your physical and mental health."

How often do you change the oil in your car? Every 10,000 miles? When the light on the dashboard tells you to??How often do you go for a physical? Not sure?

Your body is a marvelous machine that is built to last you a lifetime (LOL). It is also self-healing.?It does, however, require care and maintenance. Responsible living requires that we eat properly, exercise, and schedule appropriate medical care. Like most things in life, prevention is easier than cure.

Similarly, taking care of our mental health requires paying attention to and listening to what life is telling us. There are various ways of determining the status of your mental health, but the one I find useful is this:?Do you spring out of bed in the morning looking forward to the day ahead? Do you fall asleep at night and wake up rested??In short, are you grateful for the life you have and inspired to live it??If not, it’s time, as we say, to “Fix Your Life.”

[7] "Make concrete future plans."

What is a “concrete” future plan??It is not: “I will become a better person.”?“I will be more intimate.” Or “I will make the world a better place.” Concrete future plans are specific, measurable, and timed. For example: “I will lose 15 pounds on the Keto diet in 30 days beginning this Friday.” “I will tell my spouse that I love him/her once a day beginning tomorrow.” Or “I will call my favorite charity tomorrow and donate $20 each month.”?Got it?

We don’t always follow through on our plans, concrete or otherwise. That’s because we are highly imperfect.?However, not making plans guarantees that follow through is not even possible. Since nothing succeeds like success, the more that we accomplish concrete future goals, the better we become at setting them and following through.

A Final Thought

I'd like to thank Dr. Peterson for his useful suggestions and would like to add one of my own: Love and be loved.

We live in a polarized society and the trend is to take sides and dig in. Resist the temptation.?The reality is that we are more alike than we are different.?We all need to love and be loved. If you pay attention, you will see your own weaknesses and strengths in others. You will learn to care about others. You will realize that there are those who care about you. Like the moon, we all have a dark side, but most of us are good, caring people. We can experience the world with compassion for human suffering. With love we can stop being part of the problem and become part of the solution.?To my mind, the ultimate meaning of life is to love and be loved.

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