7 Things You Should Never Do During Divorced
Alyson Gale
Director at Resolve Conflict Family Lawyers, Family Lawyer and NMAS Accredited Mediator
The process of divorce isn’t always easy. Tensions can run high and divorcing couples can often make poor decisions in the heat of the moment. Given the extensive amount of financial, emotional and practical details that have to be worked out, it’s not surprising so many divorcing couples end up making critical mistakes whilst navigating their divorce. That being said, there are a number of key things you should and more importantly should not do, to reduce the chance of regretting your decisions down the track.
Here are 7 things you should never do during divorce:
Don’t forget to consult your Lawyer
“A lawyer can make sure that you both review and understand anything before you sign or agree. An experienced family lawyer is often a good idea for situations where the divorcing couple has a large amount of assets, property or other complicated financial matters. In more contentious divorces, a family lawyer can make sure that your interests are represented in court. Even in a “friendly” divorce you are often better off hiring a lawyer to help file paperwork and guide you through the court system.”[1]
Don’t make decisions without fully understanding the implications
Now is not the time to be a bystander on what is going on. “Read as much as you can, go to free (or paid) consultations with various professionals (mediators, lawyers, divorce coaches and more). The more information you have regarding your rights and options, the better decisions you will be able to make.”[2]
Related Article: How to Avoid A Messy and Costly Divorce
Never refuse to Negotiate or Mediate a Divorce Settlement
“Negotiation and mediation are about settling the business end of the marriage. Put your emotions aside, take care of the business that needs to be taken care of and then deal with your emotions separately.”[3]
Collaborative Family Law or Mediation is often a great option for couples that are able to remain amicable and have a good understanding of their financial standing. Most importantly they want to retain control of what happens to their family and wish to resolve their differences respectfully and privately out of Court.
Related Article: Is Mediation An Effective Solution For Your Divorce?
Don’t use the kids as pawns
Divorce can be especially difficult for children, without them feeling like they are in a tug-of-war over which parent they love more. Now more than ever children need support from both parents, rather than making them pick a side.
Don’t let your emotions dictate your actions
“Whether it’s sadness, anger, pain or even relieve, divorces are riddled with emotions, and that’s ok. But it’s important to remember not to let those feelings steer the ship.”[4] Remember divorce, as crude as it may sound, is fundamentally a business transaction, dealing with the practical issues of asset division and care and responsibility of any children within the family. When emotions get in the way, poor decisions and actions can implicate this process, which can have profound long-term implications.
Don’t make your private life public
Divorce has the potential to get messy quickly, particularly if private matters or emotional outburst are being shared publicly on social media.
Don’t keep things from your lawyer
Remember your lawyer is in your corner. You need to give your lawyer a full picture and understanding of your goals so they can successfully formulate a strategy to achieve your goals.
Note: This is general information advice only and does not constitute specific legal advice. If you would like further information in relation to this matter or other legal matters, please contact us on 03 9620 0088 or email [email protected]
[1] Carney-Debord J 2017, ‘9 Things You Should NEVER Do During Divorce’, The Good Men Project, 20th October, viewed 5th September, https://goodmenproject.com/divorce/9-things-you-should-never-do-during-divorce-cmtt/
[2] Rozen Dr M 2013, ‘The 5 Worst Mistakes People Make During Divorce’, Huffington Post, 24th July, viewed 5th September 2018, https://www.huffingtonpost.com/michelle-rozen/divorce-mistakes_b_3641432.html
[3] Meyer C 2017, ’11 Things You Should Never do Before, During and After Divorce’, Live About, 14th July, viewed 5th September 2018, https://www.liveabout.com/things-you-should-never-do-before-during-and-after-divorce-1102731
[4] Martin E 2017, ‘7 things you should never do if you’re about to get divorced’, Business Insider Australia, 9th February, viewed 5th September 2018, https://www.businessinsider.com.au/things-you-should-never-do-if-youre-about-to-get-divorced-2017-2?r=US&IR=T