7 things to remember about yourself in 2023

I wrote the article below 8 years ago. I was 40 then - an age I thought was "old" at the time. I'm 48 now.

My oldest daughter started college in the fall. That's a difficult transition, sending your "baby" away to college. I also still have two teenagers in the house. They keep me busier than you can imagine - driving them places, coaching their teams, out in the heat watching them run XC, out in the cold watching them play soccer and run track. I'm busy.

Since I ran a marathon at 40 and finished the miniMBA program (as you'll read below), a lot has happened in life - both beautiful things and painful things. That's life. It goes fast.

This morning I was drawn for some reason to read my own words from 2015. I needed to read my own words. I've been feeling old again lately :)

I hope the story below encourages you as you enter 2023. It was a good reminder to it's author.

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originally published April 2015 as "Things I learned by running a marathon and going back to school at 40"

A kind, warmly dressed, middle-aged woman caught me by the shoulders and steadied me. She made eye contact and spoke calmly in a motherly voice, “Congratulations on your finish. Are you okay honey?”

“Thank you,” I said as confidently as I could manage.

“Are you okay?” she repeated.

“I’m a little wobbly," I admitted. I stumbled a little and leaned on the woman.

“It’s cold in here. Come with me," she said as she draped a silver blanket around me and put her arm around my shoulders. "It’s warmer back here. You did great. Congratulations. Drink this,” she said as she handed me bottle of water. She stayed with me for a few minutes asking if I was okay, if I needed anything, and then disappeared back into the arena where more runners were finishing the race.

I sat on the concrete floor in a warm corridor of the Propst Arena in Huntsville, Alabama. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on the wall and thought about how fast it went by. Not just the marathon and it’s round trip through Huntsville, the Space and Rocket Center, and Huntsville’s Botanical Gardens, or the training that started back in the summer and went through mid-December, but more-so the period of time between doubt, the first step, and accomplishment.

The Rocket City Marathon was my 2nd full marathon – but my first since my initial effort at the Country Music Marathon way back in 2003. I was 28 then. I’m 40 now. Life is very different now than it was then. But despite the myriad of challenges, failures, and successes life poses along it’s journey, I couldn’t help but smile and then cry a little as I sat alone in that warm lonely corridor in Alabama.

“I’m better now,” I thought to myself.

I reflected on my new marathon personal best time of 3 hours 45 minutes held up against my previous time of 4 hours 30 minutes when I was younger and presumably stronger physically.

A strong mind and will overcomes youth and a strong body. I’ve changed jobs 3 times since 2003. My three kids were all born in that time. We faced a few family health crises - more than a few. My hair turned grey.

We're all human. And while perseverance is considered a valuable character trait,?the hard part about persevering is that you have to face something difficult, want to give up, and then make it through to the other side.

When I was a high school wrestler my favorite song was "Lunatic Fringe" by Red Rider. At the beginning of the song you hear a distant voice, almost imperceptible, say "I'll see you on the other side." I always focused on that line before embarking on another difficult weight cutting session or tournament.

Back in Alabama I gathered my things and went to find my friends and the buffet of food for the Rocket City Marathon finishers.

Two nights before the marathon I completed the mini-MBA and Executive Certificate in Business Administration and Management from Belmont University. Everything was happening so fast that I didn’t stop to reflect upon all of it until after the marathon.

I went back to school after 15 years at age 40. I ran a marathon for the first time in 11 years. I finished both in a span of 3 days.

And just a few years ago I had given up on a lot things about myself and was going through the motions of life.

I was the sort of desperate 30-something, middle class man with a smile, a beautiful family, and a hollowness he can’t explain that you find in every church, company, and home across America.

I was living a bad imitation of the an American dream. I was bored. And tired. And coasting.

When you’re young you either have big dreams, or you’re too busy chasing to stop and plan. I think I qualified in both areas, but by my mid-30’s I began to realize that I felt stuck. That I’d made too many mistakes in planning my professional life. I began to believe that I was only worth what I had achieved, when I used to believe I could accomplish anything.

Getting beaten down and tired happens over a long period of time, but it feels like it happens overnight. You wake up one day and look at a stranger in the mirror.

But then perseverance comes in, because it has to. Just when you're backed into a corner you realize that?you are in control after all and life?can?be up to you.

The human spirit in indomitable. Luckily, you don't have to be trapped for a month on a life raft or experience unjust imprisonment or deep loss to be privy to the human ability to rise above or go forward.

The choice is yours. Your own energy for "another go" is all that's required.

I was reminded by and learned a few things by taking on some new challenges in my 40th year. I think they apply to everyone - in almost every aspect of your life: work, marriage, parenting, and even Faith.

You can get better with age.

Finding a passion for helping others and a purpose helps you overcome the fear of times passage. Wisdom is more powerful than you can imagine when you are young.

You can regain confidence in yourself.

It starts with the first step towards your fears. Just one step and you’ll remember.

You can do it for yourself. Or you can do it to show them who you really are.

Anger and disappointment are powerful motivators when you know how to harness them in a healthy way. Regardless of why you do it initially, you'll realize you did it for yourself. And that's not a bad thing sometimes.

You’re always stronger than you think. And you'll surprise yourself.

Every time I’ve thought I can’t go another day under a certain stress (work, health, financial, family), go another hard minute in a wrestling match against a top-tier opponent, or take another step in a triathlon or a race, I’ve found out I always have more to give. Always. Find the “stronger” in yourself. It’s there.

The hard things make you better.

You won’t see this while you’re in the middle of it, but trust me – as years go by, you’ll come to understand or at least accept the hard things that shaped you. And crazy as this sounds, you’ll appreciate the lessons you learned through hardship.

You can always get up and meet a new challenge.

The only thing stopping you is your own attitude. It’s the only thing in life you can control. Lay down. Or get up. The choice is always yours.

You are a champion.

I certainly didn’t “win” the race in Huntsville, but I won something even greater than a marathon. I accomplished a goal (sub-4 hour marathon) that I'd put off for over a decade - and I took some new college classes that I'd always been secretly afraid I couldn't handle. 40 is just a number it turns out – and I have more education and a new marathon PR now to prove it.

Whether your 40 or 50-something in mid-career thinking of a change or how to move forward, or 20 and just getting started, or 70 and still learning and growing, it's never too late to take the first step towards your fears or something new. Perseverance will be there when you need it. Guaranteed.

I'll see you on the other side, it whispers.

Chad Nikazy is Executive Vice President at Provisions Group, a Franklin TN based IT consulting, project delivery, and recruiting firm . He resides south of Nashville with his wife and 3 children where he consults with business leaders and shuttles kids between practices of all kinds. Reach out and let's talk about your career or business challenges at [email protected]