7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
A narcissist will do whatever to keep you in an abusive relationship as long as you may serve as their supply, so setting boundaries and getting out of an abusive relationship may be extremely difficult. Therefore, the best way to end a relationship with a narcissist is to avoid contact.
However, when they detect that you are trying to get out of the relationship, a narcissist may resort to numerous emotional abuse techniques. Guilt-tripping, playing the victim, and hoovering are among the 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact.
They will push your boundaries , accuse you, and stage phony emergencies to make you feel guilty. Or they may make grandiose promises of a fresh start or threaten to harm themselves. It is essential to stay consistent and ready to reinforce your boundaries every time a narcissist challenges them.
What Does It Mean to Go “No Contact” With Someone?
Going “no contact” with someone means exactly what the name implies: intentionally cutting off all forms of communication and not having any touch with that person after a breakup, separation, or divorce. To be more specific, you should not initiate any communication with your ex for at least 20 to 30 days.
Of course, it is not always possible to cut off all communications with your narcissistic ex following a breakup or divorce, especially if you have children together. In situations where it’s impossible to go completely “no contact,” it is recommended to set clear boundaries and keep communication to a minimum.?
What Is the No Contact Rule?
The no contact rule is an effective strategy for ending toxic relationships as it takes away the narcissist’s opportunity to control and manipulate you. Going no contact includes avoiding any interaction with a particular person, and it typically means:
The no contact rule can help you create emotional distance, reduce stress, and focus on healing. This should help protect your well-being and move on with your life.?
Does Going No Contact with a Narcissist Work?
Going no contact with a narcissist can be extremely challenging. Narcissists have an inflated sense of superiority, entitlement, and importance, constantly requiring others to feed their ego . They have an obsessive desire for power and control in their relationships.
Toxic relationships can happen to anyone. Read on to discover what a self-love coach can do to help you through this healing journey.
Thus, they will use threats, lies, and pleadings to lure you back toward them. They may even turn people against you or separate you from friends and family to manipulate and keep you engaged.
Also, the success of going no contact with a narcissist will depend on the nature of your relationship with this person and your individual circumstances. Still, with the proper support and firm boundaries, going no contact with a narcissist is possible and can be effective.?
7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact
A relationship with a narcissist is based on emotional dependency, with the narcissist demanding complete attention and admiration. As long as you fuel their fragile ego, the narcissist will want to keep you close. So, here are 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact.?
1) Intensified Attempts to Regain Control and Attention
When your narcissistic ex sees that you’re serious about going no contact, they may feel like losing control or attention. So, their attempts to stay in control may become quite intense. They may fluctuate between love-bombing and aggressive threats.
So, you might find yourself under a barrage of messages and calls, calling friends and family to pressure you, or making public appeals through social media.?
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2) Playing the Victim to Gain Sympathy?
When you cut off their narcissistic supply, a narcissist might play the victim to gain your sympathy and win you back. They will probably portray themselves as mistreated, suffering, and hurt to emphasize their own vulnerability and shift blame to you to create a sense of obligation and compassion.
3) Spreading Misinformation and Lies
A narcissist will distort and fabricate facts to create confusion and exert control. They may tell you outright lies, spread rumors or half-truths about people and situations, or pull other people into your relationship dynamics to destabilize your reputation and social connections.
Break free from narcissistic relationships once and for all. Find out how.
4) Manipulative Guilt-Tripping
If you go no contact after a breakup, a narcissist will make themselves seem extremely wounded, exaggerating their emotional suffering or accusing you of doing something wrong. They will probably blame you entirely for the failure of your relationship. For example, they might accuse you of leaving them for someone else to induce feelings of responsibility and guilt.
5) Displaying Anger and Aggression
Your determination to stick to the no contact rule may provoke a narcissist’s anger and aggression. They might become hostile, send you threatening messages, call you on the phone, attack you verbally, spread rumors about you, or publicly criticize and belittle you to punish you for leaving them.
These 7 things narcissists do when you go no contact have the purpose of evoking guilt, fear, or sympathy, and draw you back into their cycle of abuse.
6) Attempting to Reengage Through Hoovering
Hoovering is an emotional abuse method used by narcissists when they sense they are losing their narcissistic supply. They might try to suck you back into a toxic relationship through manipulation tactics such as guilt-tripping, flattery, and love-bombing, making dramatic declarations or threats, pleading, or creating fake emergencies after you go no contact.
7) Moving On to New Sources of Supply?
When they realize that they cannot violate your boundaries and control you anymore, a narcissist will most likely move on to new sources of supply , finding someone else who will offer admiration, emotional energy, and validation to boost their self-esteem.
Moving Forward After Implementing No Contact with a Narcissist
Moving forward after implementing no contact with a narcissist might take time, as this is a significant period of self-reflection and healing. But you don’t have to do it alone. Working with a coach can help you reinforce boundaries and learn how to set healthier boundaries in the future.
Coaching can teach you how to treat yourself with compassion, rebuild your self-esteem, and increase your resilience.
If you are looking for guidance, emotional support, and coping strategies to recover from narcissistic abuse and heal, contact me to set up a free, empowering conversation.