7 Things I Have Learned That Life Will NEVER Fail You On As an Entrepreneur or Student in the Game of Life (age irrelevant) ...

CAUTION: This may not be what you think – No techy words or Platform Acronyms for once... I am not a writer but trying to improve for a few reasons...)

This is about 7 things we may not always think of or remember. If you pull one or two things you can use right away, great! I am curious which ones, so let me know at the end. I can assure you after reading you will have a few. Promise. :)

I get right to it. No buttering or massaging. Here we go... and Happy Thanksgiving ahead.

1. Control: As in what you can control and what life controls.

First, remember the difference between you and life. Not always easy in moment.

Things sometimes do happen to us and the outcomes after (or for reasons, based on how you think about things) that put you where you are at. That would look like this:

1. The actual Instance of what happened.
2. Then initial outcomes from it.
3. Additional outcomes over time (short or long) we never know how long until we know.
4. Your realization of the initial incident and the amount of time that has past for you to realize that wasn’t so bad, saying to yourself 'look how THIS or THAT turned out'. Only defined by the trickle of the future ripple of time. 

The normal breakdown is Control what you Think, what you feel Feel, and what you Do So in simple, what you actually do about situations comes from what you think and feel about them and your decision to address/change them. Simple. We got through #1.

Lesson 1: Time heals personal and business wounds or hiccups when we learn from it, period. Sometimes you just don’t know how long to realize, trust it, practice personal and business faith here. Stress is a ruthless enemy to the human body, so get rid of it with your go to healthy alternatives and maybe some quick “things will be ok” realizations (toss on a great rock song;) if that gets you back to center for a few moments to think more clear through it ahead… oh, and our #2 point here.

2. Gratitude: Your Attitude of Gratitude

Smash Fear or Anxiety (*Many doctors have said Fear element and Anxiety CANNOT exist together with Gratitude element of the brain – look it up) when you remind yourself what you are grateful for literally in your head in the moment and think of those 4-5 things in 4-5 seconds that snaps you out of any funk. It’s almost instant when perfected. This I feel very strong about for me personally, and like many athletes to improve their performance, the brain is a muscle and life is a game, practice it and play it, period.

Lesson 2: Think about the people, instances, or anything that you can say WOW I am lucky from past present or maybe future and put them on your mental daily list. Photos, images, instances, occurrences, family and friends and pets, lifestyle, job, etc...whatever you are grateful for put it on your GO TO LIST DAILY. Your mental snapshot gratitude list. I use this when I go speak in front of thousands of students or critical academics, when my nerves or concerns may be elevated and realizes I am doing what I am doing because I am grateful (bigger than me, our team, or our company) to have an impact on a generation in our way, how we choose, based on what we know now that they can use as help to get ready for life and life skills. My stress goes away and any discomfort dissipates almost instantly following my 5 second moment. It takes practice for sure. #3 ahead requires alot less practice and more daily awareness and constant revisisting in a very good way.

3. Needs: Your Needs as a Human – Remember Them Daily (This is what they mean when they say have Balance in Your Life)

I view the needs as simply:

Certainty.

Uncertainty.

Growth.

Contribution.

Significance.

Love/Connection.

When you have too much certainty, your bored. Or too much uncertainty you’re stressed. If you are not learning and giving enough improvement or feeling good about doing things for others. And if you are not connected to supportive people or in a healthy relationship you will be lacking that feeling as well. Balance may be on or it may be off. It’s a daily/weekly/monthly/yearly maintenance.

Lesson 3: No matter who you are, where you come from, this is the root basis for all of us as people and goes right in line with our next point so you live a productive life. Needs in order are balance, check out #4.

4. Balance (Moderation): 

The In-Moderation Principle: The balance of doing and having what you enjoy that makes YOU feel good “in moderation.” 

People: If a person changes behavior in your life, they change in ways that don’t make you happy or they leave, then they stopped making YOU feel good because they didn’t or you have some checking to do on you. Why? They most likely weren’t happy with themselves or you. When behavior changes for the worse after a few weeks, it’s not in moderation any longer.  Maybe they don’t speak your language.

Places: The gym 7 days a week with 2 of those days double sessions.

Sometimes we have to be aware of not so healthy drivers fueling our extremes with a benchmark of what extreme is noted by other experts (trainers, etc in this example) and listening to them, not yourself in these cases.

Things: Just like unhealthy foods or 7 cups of coffee a day; treat yourself, don’t flood yourself.

So if great supportive people, music, food, a good roast of coffee, the gym, a good read, what ever it is makes you feel good, do everything in moderation.  

Lesson 4: 4-Point Moderation checklist you can do every time: 

1. It is good.
2. It’s Good for you.
3. It’s good for those around you.
4. It’s for the greater good.

If it’s yes to all 4, you’re all set.

Now what language do you speak? #5

5. Language:

The easiest way to say it is a book written by Gary Chapman called The 5 Love Languages. We have 5 languages we speak (in relationship terms with people). The 5 languages we all have that we can rank are: Physical Touch. Words of Affirmation. Quality Time. Gifts. Acts of Service. There is a test online, check it out (I make 0 money directing you lol, if it helps you, that’s payment enough). These do not apply to business because physical touch will get you a lawsuit. I digress...

This is about how we speak 2 primary languages we seek to receive from others. In summary in many cases we speak our languages to someone else but don’t always give that person their language they want to receive. Why? We don’t realize it is the simple answer. It’s just how we are to make us feel good. It’s normal. Knowing the other persons can be what make the relationship longer term more fulfilling for all.

Lesson 5: Know your 2 languages that most resonate with you and have fun with it with your friends or relationship partner. Know your partners. See if you can speak them. :)

6. Mindset:  

Has a lot to do with #1 but elaborating on this one is key. How we snap into things. How we snap out of things. Our perspective that can change us instantly. What we value or how we think over time? Our normal mindset day to day is? Do we even know? 

Those are good but what’s next is even better... 

Recently a book was written called Mindset by Carol Dweck. She simply states you have 2 mindsets and I agree: Fixed Mindset or a Growth Mindset. We can go in and out of them but in most cases have to work at it over time so we stay in a Growth Mindset. Being a fixed mindset can be perceived as focused (misleading sometimes) but in the long term it is not where we want to be as human beings to be truly fulfilled in the game of life.  As a growth mindset, you are able to have a mindset that is foundational in improving, not fixed. It is not flat lined or stuck in a cycle of mundane I call it.

Mindset Example and Solution: Are you in a job or relationship that is so routine? Any job or industry?... A boss that is so toxic? Dealing with it for 1-2 years? You are in a fixed mindset and equally a fixed environment. Do you blame others when you fail instead of asking for feedback on how to improve next time or at least get the answer how to improve? You are in a fixed mindset if you are not improving or getting feedback you can use to improve immediately. It’s pretty simple. If you are feeling stuck in something it’s because you’re not growing aka allowing yourself the means or mental pathway TO GROW.

Mindset Change Solution 1/Job: Ok, want to get out of it, get your resume together, get your linkedin updated, get your contact list of your best 25, write 2 articles about your industry and proofread it, post it on Linkedin. Then go connect with some new people and ask to take them to a lunch because you want to interview them about (PICK A TOPIC, INDUSTRY, TRENDS, FIELDS, JOBS, ETC) Do that 5-10 times and you are growing, taking in new info, meeting new people, and your boss can go have a cup of tea without you (we have something else we say in New Jersey, professionally I digress). So that was the job solution to mindset, just as one life example, the second is: 

Mindset Change Solution 2 / Relationship: Are you in a relationship that is fixed? Do you want just a few things to be different? Have you asked what you can do to make things better? Is the person you are with a very fixed type of personality? Fixed on what? Complacent?  Ok, you have what you can improve on, you go ahead and start doing it, now... does the other person care to ask you what they can improve on? Aha! If it’s not a double edge partnership cutting through the relationship imperfections, that is what you have to check. Is that person willing to improve to meet your level or your language of happiness? Is it just too much for them; aka the just not the right fit scenario. We call this the ‘they are a good person, just not good for me’ scenario and that is the best realization for someone to make, part amicably, and stay friends/cordial if possible. One point about entrepreneurs, focus, and fixed mindset with how growth mindset comes in is this. Personally, I am focused on improving to be more focused (did you get that?) with systems and routines I have put into play to help me. I struggle with focus not because I have any focus concerns (been tested 2x lol) but because my sheer to do list is long, I care about execution, and try to do a lot of it. I am ok with that now and prioritize differently which solved my initial challenge. I am not fixed on a topic or industry, I am rather focused on being more focused and keep growing at it as well as being open to learning to a point it doesn’t disrupt my focus. That’s deep in the weeds for a sec but that is being growth oriented and just figuring it out to improve. Even though I'm focused, I am focused on growth is the point.

Mindset Example and Solution: Are you in a job or relationship that is so routine? Any job or industry?... A boss that is so toxic? Dealing with it for 1-2 years? You are in a fixed mindset and equally a fixed environment. Do you blame others when you fail instead of asking for feedback on how to improve next time or at least get the answer how to improve? You are in a fixed mindset if you are not improving or getting feedback you can use to improve immediately. It’s pretty simple. If you are feeling stuck in something it’s because you’r not growing aka allowing yourself the means or mental pathway TO GROW.

Mindset Change Solution 1/Job: Ok, want to get out of it, get your resume together, get your linkedin updated, get your contact list of your best 25, write 2 articles about your industry and proofread it, post it on Linkedin. Then go connect with some new people and ask to take them to a lunch because you want to interview them about (PICK A TOPIC, INDUSTRY, TRENDS, FIELDS, JOBS, ETC) Do that 5-10 times and you are growing, taking in new info, meeting new people, and your boss can go (XXXX as we say in NJ) have a cup of tea without you. 

Mindset Change Solution 2 / Relationship: Are you in a relationship that is fixed? Do you want just a few things to be different? Have you asked what you can do to make things better? Is the person you are with a very fixed type of personality? Fixed on what? Complacent? 

Ok, you have what you can improve on, you do, and does the other person care to ask you what they can improve on? Aha! If it’s not a double edge partnership cutting through the relationship imperfections, that is what you have to check. Is that person willing to improve to meet your level or your language of happiness? Is it just too much for them; aka the just not the right fit scenario. We call this ‘they are a good person, just not good for me’ and that is the best realization for someone to make and part amicably and stay friends if possible. And for our last point and closing, # Focus, something we all can learn from daily...

Lesson 6: Are you a fixed or growth mindset right now reading this? Do more reading. Focus on being a growth mindset and see how the two of them link up in the last point.

7. Focus - B.S.A.P.R.

B.S.A.P.R. (Acronym Disclaimer) I promised no acronyms that were techy lol. That is Being focused, Staying focused, Aware of your focus where you are at in present, Plan your Focus, and Reset your focus or plan when necessary, sometimes daily for some.

One point about entrepreneurs, focus, and fixed is this with how growth mindset comes in for me personally. Taking #6 and #7 and tying them in to improve daily on this task. I am focused on improving to be more focused with systems and routines I have put into play to help me. I struggle with focus not because I have ADD (been tested 2x) but because I care about a lot of things and try to do everything. I am ok with that now and prioritize differently.

Lesson 7: Be focused on being more focused and keep growing at it. Also be open to learning to a point it doesn’t disrupt your focus. That’s deep but that is being growth mindset oriented and figuring it out on your own to grow as a better executor and you will tackle many entrepreneurs and professionals biggest challenge, focus.

I hope you enjoyed this, took a few things from it, have an opinion and feedback. Hope you enjoyed it. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! If you prefer private feedback or sharing what you liked or will put into play now, you can email me: [email protected]. We also are online at StudentSuccessU.com

Be a student of the game of life and know how to play it well (with others). Life on!

didn't know how to resize this, so here I am smiling at you!!! :) Deal with it hahahaha