7 Things to do After a Storm

The devil has many supporters. You would be surprised at how quickly the HCP turns your friends, family and coworkers against you. You have to ask yourself, did they have you back to begin with? Was it all a fa?ade, a mask? How long have they been working against you? You’d might be surprised to know that the HCP paid others to maliciously gossip and slander you, obviously causing great harm.

“Shield yourself from the HCP.”

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7 Things:

1.????? Rise above it. When you are in a storm, it is absolutely chaotic. Do your best to keep a level head. Ignore the gossipers. Steer clear of people who don’t have your best interests in mind. Stay alert to people who see your vulnerability as an invitation to use you at your worst. At this time, you may not have many supporters, but they are out there. Others who have survived will offer you their support and comfort. The path ahead is difficult and challenging, but with the right support, you will heal.

?2.????? Do your own laundry first. Taking care of you means ensuring that you are setting yourself up for good things. It will be hard initially to put yourself first and others second. Remember when you used to …, but it fell by the wayside? Remember how every weekend you’d go to …, and now you can’t remember the last time you went? What makes you happy? Is it going for a morning run, meeting new people, visiting your favorite city, window shopping, talking to creatives about their artwork? What do you still like to do? Are their habits that you can fall into to make you feel different – in a pleasant way?

?3.????? Eat cherry pie. What do you love about you? How do you show love to you? Do you eat nutritiously? Do you exercise or get out once a day to walk? What activities do you engage your mind to mentally relax and reduce stress? How often do you eat your cherry pie? Once a year is definitely not enough. Weekly is good, daily is better. Getting out in the sunshine for 10 minutes does wonders to lift your mood; as does a brisk 15-minute walk. When you are alone, what activities raise your spirits, calm your body, or energize you? Look into new hobbies and interests, and you will likely make friends who share your enjoyment.

?4.????? Honor yourself. Have humility and compassion for yourself. Know that you did the best you could, with the level of awareness, knowledge you had, and the amount of healing you had at that time. Give yourself a pat on the back. This is not the time to criticize yourself or look to the past in anger. Know that your mistakes are jumping off points to show you where you still need to heal and work on yourself. There will be future mistakes and failures, however, that is not a reflection of whom you are, it’s a reflection of your behavior – a snapshot. Healing comes in stages; setbacks will happen.? As you heal, you will see that your victim mindset changes and metamorphosis into a survivor mentality. Change is possible; however, it is difficult especially when you know you will need to let go of family members or long-time friends who were your support system. Realize that this isn’t being done to you, it is being done for you. Letting them go is a gift.

?5.????? Recognize the harsh reality. At some point, it is necessary for your healing, not to sugar coat the reality of the toxic and dysfunctional situation you were living in. It was no picnic. You cannot go back, and further, you cannot heal in the environment that caused you great harm. Find yourself a new place to live, even if temporarily while you heal and get back on your feet. Do not succumb to a marginal life. Speak life into your healing.

?6.????? Recognize your wholeness. You will heal on your own, but you need to give yourself time to heal. Don’t underestimate the length of time it takes for you to recover from these relationships. There is no rush. Meaning that it wouldn’t be good for your soul to jump right into another relationship. You do not need others to heal. You have picked up some toxic traits from that relationship and as you heal, those things will shed like layers. Heal you first.

?7.????? Boats pop up. When a storm moves through, boats begin popping up everywhere. The right people will come rushing in after the storm. They are there to help you, give you a leg up, help find you an apartment and a job. They help you with your fresh start. They will help you get back on your feet. This is all done to help you mend. ?The right people will offer a blanket of friendship, offering comfort at your weakest and most vulnerable time. The wrong people will chastise you in the classroom of discipline, threaten to harm or harass you about what you should have done.

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Let Go of Expectations

Grieving the loss or abandonment of people who are still living is never easy. You are grieving what you thought you had, the thought that you would be together for many years, plus the expectations of love and companionship. Letting go comes in stages, over months and years; it is a difficult process, and can be challenging at times.

The anxiety and panic you feel can be overwhelming. It isn’t uncommon to seek counseling to help you get through and process these difficult emotions. It’s hard to reconcile how you loved the HCP’s in your life so much that they could perpetrate that level of evil upon you. When you have healed, give yourself a second chance at love. It’s right around the corner for you. Know your triggers. Know the red flags of dysfunctional relationships. Recovery is difficult and challenging, but possible.

Deeply Transformational Experiences

?????????????? Leaving toxic and dysfunctional relationships can be a frightening experience, punctuated by episodic moments where there is a releasing that is intensely emotional and tremendously painful. To get to this level of deep healing requires assistance that some would call Divine Intervention. It can be a deeply transformative process causing layers and layers of unwanted traits to release their grip. Being kept in the dark for too long allows a deep healing to occur, and though emergence will come, it just takes time. This level of healing will make you stronger for the battles ahead.