7 Steps for Women at the Top to Own their Unique Value in the Corporate World

We all have value…

Unique, powerful value that you bring to the world and, more importantly, to your organisation.

Unfortunately, more often than not women at the top really struggle to own their value and their power. But as Margie Warrell said:

“Power has no gender. It’s not male, it’s not female, but we are so conditioned to equate power with masculine leadership traits. Yet every single one of us has value to bring.?

Too often we talk ourselves down or we compare our weaknesses with other’s strengths, or we compare a new skill to one someone has already mastered. Or we look at a colleague who's completely in control and seems to be very calm and getting things done and we compare ourselves.

In comparing ourselves, we are not owning the value that we bring.”

You owning your power and your value doesn't detract from anyone else or lessen what they do. In fact, you do yourself, team and organisation a massive disservice when you don’t!

Think about where you are hiding your own light…

• Where are you downplaying yourself, saying things like ‘it’s just my job’, ‘it was easy’ or ‘my team did that’?
• Where are you not accepting compliments??
• Where are you not believing positive feedback??
• Where are you not going for a promotion or sharing your ambition of getting to the very top senior leader level?
• Where are you forcing back words in the meeting and letting them get stuck in your throat?

Rather than just getting stuck in doing the job or proving yourself and hustling for your worth you need to recognise that you have a contribution to make, expertise to share and a voice that should be heard.

As a woman at the top, you have a responsibility to you, your company, industry, and team to set an example by recognising and owning your value.

Why is it challenging for women to own their value?

• Childhood beliefs

In a lot of cases, you will have childhood beliefs that are holding you back and no longer serve you as a woman in leadership.

Despite outgrowing these beliefs, some can linger and are a big reason why women find it a challenge to own their value.?

For me growing up I was told not to show off or be too confident. It was seen as arrogant, too much, and an unwanted trait. Although I was firmly told “little girls should be seen and not heard”, the same traits in boys seemed to be tolerated more.?

These beliefs become almost like a framework of how you view the world and are usually just internalised beliefs that you use to be hard on yourself.

• Negative comparisons

Without even realising it, we make negative comparisons with others.

But what’s important to remember is most of the time you’re comparing your weaknesses to other people’s strengths and what they’re good at… rather than your own strengths and natural abilities.

It might be comparison with the vocal person who speaks up a lot in meetings… despite the fact you’re more of an introvert and do your best work when you’ve had time to go away and reflect.?

Or when you start developing a new skill but can’t help comparing yourself to the person who has spent years mastering it.

You might even compare yourself to the woman at the school gate who seems completely in control when you feel like a swan furiously paddling beneath the surface… but who's to say she isn’t thinking the same about you?

It may be human to compare yourself with others, but it’s also the first obstacle in the way of truly recognising your magic and owning the value you bring.

In the future, try to be aware of when you're comparing and be kinder to yourself.?

• Overfocused on development goals

In the corporate world there's a huge focus on development needs, especially around annual reviews.

When we know something needs developing, it’s usually seen as quite negative and is about something that you need to work on.

In my early career there was a lot of feedback around confidence and time management, and I was sent on courses and workshops to help with those ‘issues’.?

Now I know it was more about the fact I was scared to say no and wanted to prove my value through overgiving… so no time management workshop was ever going to help! What I actually needed to work on was to own my value.?

So rather than just getting stuck on development goals and annual performance review actions, focus on what you’re brilliant at and the skills you do have that remind you of the unique value you bring.?

• Self-promotion

Research finds when it comes to self-promotion, women systematically rate themselves lower than men do, even when their work is objectively better.

Through a series of questions women outperformed men, yet when asked to reflect back men gave themselves an average score of 61 and women rated themselves at 45.

It might feel really icky and awkward to self-promote and talk about the things you're brilliant at but it’s not enough to leave it to others.?

If you’re not self-promoting and telling others about all the great work you and your team have delivered, the research highlights the impact it could have… women stuck in jobs below their capability with less talented peers being promoted above them because they didn’t apply for that promotion or have a conversation about an incredible new opportunity.?

• Over giving

There's an epidemic amongst women in the corporate world and that is over giving.

Studies found that women push themselves further at work, with 60% of women saying they always work hard compared to just 45% of men saying the same. Similarly, 28% of women said they always deliver over and above to impress compared to just 19% of men.

This is what Brené Brown calls ‘hustling for your worth’

This means constantly demonstrating your value and proving that you can deliver… without any respite.?

But this hustle culture and cycle of over giving is going to lessen your value because you're always there and people will come to expect you to go above and beyond, all the time.?

You're almost invisible if you're not setting boundaries, pushing back and saying no at times.

Brene Brown summed it best: “You either walk inside your story and own it or you stand outside your story and hustle for your worthiness.”

• Downplaying your value

How often do you downplay your value?

It might be as simple as saying ‘I’m just doing my job’ or fending off compliments and positive feedback instead of accepting them and letting them wash over you.

By doing this you're downplaying your value… and that of your team… and not giving others the opportunity to benefit from it either.?

7 steps to start recognising your value?

1. Look at your skills

Start by doing an honest skills assessment of the job you have vs. the job you want. Then also look at how you’re spending your time…

• How are you spending your time and using those skills?
• What do you love and are excited about?
• What feels really easy for you??

Assess your skills, experience and the value you bring to the role… then look at your dream job title. What do you need to get there??

Now that you know what you already have, is there a gap? How can you demonstrate your unique value to close it?

2. Identify your magic

Magic is the thing that you do in only the way that you can do that has a big impact on other people.?

Your magic is the things that you find easy, where time flies and that you get complimented over time and time again.?

Identifying your magic helps you to step away from comparison and shines the light back on to you, where it belongs!

3. List of wins?

Look back at the chapters of your life and create a list of wins to remind yourself of all the things you have already achieved.?

These wins are who you already are, and with time the list will grow and become more.?

If you’re ever in doubt of your value, read through your list and remember that you accomplished all those things… and if you were to read it to someone else, they would just think ‘wow, what an incredible person!’

Let yourself feel that.?

4. Create a compliments and feedback file

Once you have your list of wins, it’s time to create a compliments and feedback file.

The meaning behind this is similar to your list of wins but this is specifically to help you stop avoiding positive feedback. It gives you the opportunity to really take it in and appreciate the value you bring.

Every time you receive a compliment, piece of feedback or positive email you can add it to your file, or box, or shelf, etc. whatever you prefer, as a reminder.?

Even a separate email folder in your inbox to store feedback gives you something to go back and read through on those days you’re struggling to believe in yourself and own your value.?

5. Share your value

It’s easy to undermine your value without even meaning to… I did it myself for years.

When once asked about myself I glibly replied that I had a 16-year corporate marketing career. Although true this doesn’t highlight the value I brought in those 16 years...

It doesn’t cover the fact I led a brand new to the world, 10-million-pound technology launch that resulted in me on Radio 1 and a once small product becoming the main focus of the entire campaign.

Although something I was very proud of, I often downplayed my career and the things I achieved… so make sure you practice sharing and speaking to your value on a regular basis!

6. Conscious growth

You need to make self-development a priority.? Think about areas you'd like to develop and create some self-growth goals.

As a leader it’s easy to get caught up focusing on your team’s development but it’s important to give yourself time as well. In doing that, you are also role modeling to your team how important it is to develop yourself and keep learning.

7. Ask for what you want

This is all about speaking up and making sure your voice is heard.

You have to be concise and clear and use strong and direct language to ask for what you want.

For example, if you want to be a director in your organisation… have you told your boss? Have you asked for their advice on what you need to do to get there?

You may risk potential rejection, but actually knowing that that could lead to a different avenue that’s in a better direction for you and will shine a light on all the value you bring!?

P.S. If you want to find out how you can better support women in your organisation and help close the gender pay gap, you can contact me below.

Book a Call with Nic

Nicola Skorko Website

‘Women at the Top of Telecoms and Tech’ Podcast