7 Steps to Resolve Conflict at Work and At Home

Most conflicts are rooted in fear - so much so that often people don’t even know what they truly want - just that they want control. They feel threatened and have an overwhelming need to be right. If we can allow everyone to feel heard we can move to alignment. This takes mindful presence to shift from fight-flight-flee to curiosity. 

Seven Steps to Resolve Conflict 

1. LEAVE EGO, PRECONCEIVED JUDGMENT AND PERSONAL INTEREST AT THE DOOR.
2. LISTEN “What I hear you saying is _________. It seems that you may also be afraid of _________. Is that correct?” (If they’re nodding there is alignment.) 
3. ESTABLISH BEST PRACTICE: “If we were achieving excellence in this situation what would that look like for you?” 
4. VALIDATE “I think I understand.” Repeat back what they said. (If they’re nodding there is alignment.) 
5. GET CURIOUS “I like this about your perspective _______. (Be honest.) Help me understand how this part will work _______.” 
6. FIND COMMON GROUND & SPEAK YOUR TRUTH “It’s interesting because I think we both want the same thing and may just have a different perspective on how to get there.” (Share your perspective.) 
7. SEEK ALIGNMENT “I’d like to work with you on this. What if we tried ______ (Pitch a compromise.)

When we release our fear of losing control, our need to be right and our need to win we become more respected and in the end accomplish the best solution. Most importantly we gain more fulfilling relationships. 

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Your coach, 

Mary Lee 

Feel free to forward this link to someone who could benefit from it. We are all walking down the same road in life looking for a hand to hold. Sometimes we must be the hand that reaches out. 

Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and 19-year corporate CEO who helps leaders have more effective careers, happier lives and better relationships. Access her free leadership materials at www.MaryLeeGannon.com  Request a free consultation call.