7 Steps Of The Introvert's Guide To Networking

When someone from our community came up to me at a business conference and asked "How do you do it?", it got me thinking of what exactly I do when it comes to lead/client generation networking.

Then BOOM, I discovered that I follow a 7 step process without even realizing it, so I've broken it down here.

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Step 1: Networking Paradigm Shift

Before we do anything, we want to shift our mindset on what networking actually is. When we're talking about the mindset of networking, we really want to focus on two different things.

1) Relationships.

We want to be there for maybe... friends possibly. As an adult, it's really hard to form new friendships. Personally for me, I actually am going out there thinking, "Maybe this person can be my friend. Maybe we can hang out. Maybe we can get coffee."

Especially if they're killing it in life, because I always want to be surrounded by people who are high performing mother lovers. Don't you?

2) Give Value.

I know I know, we've all heard this before, but we want to make sure we give value first. We don't want to be vultures and leave the proverbial scene with blood on the battle field with our swords in the air in celebration of conquering. That's not the right mindset and guess what?

People can smell that a mile away.

Yup. We'll be THAT person at the event OR we can be the person who is just there as a giving person, a person who truly wants to connect with them, and a rare professional human who actually gives a crap.

Why?

Because these conversations puts us in a honest state to admit our needs and what we want help with even if it embarrasses us or we have to let go of a perfect facade. Because with connection, we can open ourselves up to....

Maybe talk about our business.

Maybe talk about our pain points.

Maybe talk about, "Hey, how can we work together in order to get to that next level?"

We (and our ego) tend to be protective over our career, money, and business.

So the need to connect on a deeper level first is vital for anyone to truly open up with what's going on inside their career, money, or business. It feels personal, so we got to get personal with them.

Step 2: Take Notes On Names

This is an actual photo of the notes I've taken during the event. I had to blur some information out, but you could tell I made personal notes of both information and potential talking points or quotes for me to use as a piece of conversation.

Take notes on names you want to connect with. This goes into three different sections.

• Pre-event
• During Event
• Post-event

The Pre-event

The pre-event is as you may already know, "doing the homework".

Check on the event's site where they sometimes have the guest list or the VIP list. Make sure if they have that list, you research all of them and really get to know what each person does. Know the big hitter's face. Have a picture of them in your mind and really study like your back in your university library studying for your mid-term, so by the time you're at the event, you're prepared to go and connect with those specific people.

Now, sometimes they don't publicly announce it. If they have a Facebook group, go into their Facebook group. Introduce yourself in there, make yourself known.

Another way, which is what I did this weekend, is to contact support, and I directly asked them,

Hi Support Team of X,

I was hoping you could help me with an attendee VIP list that I can look over because I'd really like to see who I might get to meet. I'm so excited for this event and thank you so much in advance!

Best Regards,

Sometimes they'll hand it to you, sometimes they won't, but it's worth that little extra attempt.

ProTip: DO NOT demand anything from support. They are humans on the other side and have more power than you think (especially if the company is making less than 20 million a year). They are often the gatekeepers to high-level individuals and can make or break your success.

BONUS Tip: Sometimes I like to message people beforehand if I know they're going to be at the event and it's a publicized VIP list or even a guest speaker.

I'll find them on LinkedIn, I'll find them on Facebook, or wherever, even on Instagram. Doesn't matter. But, wherever they are that you can access, you find them and you do a quick little message.

KEY POINT -- You're not pitching anything. You're not saying we should meet at a certain time. You're just saying, "Hey, I just noticed you're on the list of X. I wanted to connect with you beforehand, and I look forward to meeting you there." And that's it. Make sure your profile picture on that platform is professional and represents you in real life.

You'd be surprised on how many people remember that because so few people do it. By the time you're at the event, sometimes these people will actually come up to YOU.

YES. The very people that you wanted to connect with and thought that you were going to have to hunt them down, are now seeking you, because they're curious. I had people come up to me and say,

"Hey, weren't you the person who messaged me on LinkedIn?" "Yes. I was INDEED."

Step 3: Utilize the Lighthouse Effect

This is for the "during the event" portion.

What's the lighthouse effect?

The lighthouse effect is basically when you shine your light throughout the crowd, standing out, and all of the boats are drawn towards you. One way to do that is to be a celebrity authority in your niche, which, of course, takes a lot of time, branding, etc.

But there's another way to do it...

For example, you can always dress NICE.

• Dress professional.
• Dress clean cut.
• Dress like you are there for a REASON.

To Men:

Let's say you're a man in a nice tailored suit. I always like that midnight blue color and the material that shines a little bit. Oh. Every single time I see any man who wears a suit like that, MEN and WOMEN,

• look at them,
• admire them,
• and they think in their head,

"What do they do?"

Right? You actually wonder, you get curious, and you become the lighthouse effect.

To Women:

For women, I might say something very controversial, but very simply put,

• Do your hair.
• Do your makeup.
• Wear heels (unless there's a medical reason why you can't wear heels).

Make sure you're wearing clothes that are fitted and well put together. I mean, something as simple as wearing red lips, THAT really stands out.

Actually, a lot of women don't wear red lips, and so when I wear red lips at events, with other women who do, we actually tend to stand out and psychologically the color red stands out. It's also right on your face. So, ladies, red lips at events!

Post Event

I'll get to that later on...

Step 4: Introduction

The 3 basic introductions are:

1. Leveraged Introduction
2. Group Introduction
3. Self Introduction

Leveraged Introduction

The best scenario is when somebody else can edify you while or before an introduction is made. This usually happens when you're talking to somebody and they know of a good connection.

It usually goes like this:

"Hey, you should meet X!"

And you say, "Oh, actually, can you introduce me to them?"

"Oh yeah, you know what? She's right here. Oh, hey, Maria, this is Tina Leder. She does XYZ. Tina, this is Maria, the one I was talking to you about..."

What they're doing without maybe even realizing, is edifying you. When there's a mutual connection, people tend to trust you more. It goes into the degree of separation in trust, which I did a video on, so check this video out on How To Make People Trust You later on.

Group Introduction

Let's say a group is already talking, just step in.

Usually, it's a great moment to step in when one person is being really loud or maybe they're really getting into a story.

With this, you can simply step in without saying anything at all.

Here's what you're looking for, a KEY MOMENT to COMMENT on.

The person talking might say something in their story that triggers a natural response, and THAT is when you comment on it right away. When there's something to genuinely comment on.

Example: I stepped into a group, someone was telling a crazy story, and then this one woman said some inappropriate thing, and I said, "Whoa. Okay, I clearly stepped in at a very good time!"

Everybody laughed, and now I'm in the group. BOOM. It's really important to make yourself known in the group, but don't interrupt anything if they're already having a conversation.

Self Introduction

The easiest is when they're just alone and you simply go ahead and introduce yourself. You can walk up to them and say,

"Hi, my name is Tina Leder [obviously use your own name]."

Or another way is,

"Hey, somebody told me that I should meet you. My name is Tina. What do you do?"

It also makes them feel important, so they really start to talk about themselves which is good, and it goes into my next point.

Step 5: Deep Rich Conversations

We want to have a rich and open conversation. And in order for people to get there, you have to ask questions about them. It's things like,

"What brought you here?"

"What specific things are you looking for?"

It's those kinds of questions that really evoke into why they're really here. This is the first step to get to their actual motivation. Which leads to...

Step 6: Add Relational Value

It might be adding value simply by listening to them.

Or giving them advice, but tread carefully on this one, nothing is worse than unsolicited advice, so make sure you ask permission first.

"Hey, I think know someone that could help you out in your situation. Would that be beneficial to you?"

If you know someone that can help who is at the networking event itself (which is actually a better scenario because then it edifies you in some way that 'this person is to be trusted and this person knows people'), then go on and make that introduction.

And/or if you just know people in your existing network, then go ahead and introduce that individual in a formal way via email. Edify both parties and explain the connection.

This may be a long-term game, but the power of reciprocity is real and you never know what might happen later on, so keep planting those seeds!

Step 7: Post Event Follow Up

Now, remember I talked about the list that you constantly take before the event, during the event, and then what you're going to do after the event with this list. Well, it goes into our final step because we're going to follow up with that list.

I did this just this weekend when I came back from the event, I was looking through my list, and there was one person who I Googled and found her office number. I just went right ahead and I called her.

I called her, but when I got on the phone, I acted as if we did briefly spoke for a second. I got on the phone saying,

"Hey X, this is Tina. We met at the X event, and we briefly spoke for a second, but just as a reminder I [say what you do or relevant information]."

That conversation led to another, then we formed a partnership, and it was as simple as that. We never spoke at the event. I simply wrote her name down, making a note to search her after the event.

ProTip: Make sure to follow up the night of, or maybe the very next day. You really want to do it as soon as possible just to get that first touch point.

Most people will not strike in the first meeting. Because, it takes time.

We want to get to know.

We want to feel comfortable.

We want to feel like we trust them.

And so, in order to get into the trust, know, and like, which is how people move forward with something or somebody on a new venture. We have to make sure that they're in our follow-up strategy database, and you really follow up with every single person that you want to get in touch with or stay in touch with.

COMMENT BELOW and let me know, out of the 7 steps, which one was an Aha Moment for you, or maybe something that you know you need to put more effort into.

Or maybe it's something else for you?

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