The 7 Steps to Getting off of Meds: Taking Control of Your Life and Your Sanity

With increases in antidepressant usage skyrocketing to over a 400% in the past 20 years and, at least one in ten Americans using them, don’t you think it’s time to rethink our strategy?

It’s true that, in the beginning, antidepressants can give you the feeling of getting your emotions and your life back under control. I get it, of course.

But, what about later on down the road?

You know, when you are supposed to wean yourself off of them? Because, you know these things can potentially do some damage over time. It’s not simply because you are well informed and you’ve been asking around. No, it’s because you saw your coworker Paula go from a kind of stressed out, but nice person, to a sort of anxious, tense, seemingly happy, but slightly aggressive person. You didn’t really understand why it was so disturbing to be around her at first until she confided in you that she had started her prescription of antidepressants. She told you that it really saved her life from spinning out of control and now she can handle the workload as well as her family life at home.

I mean, she deserves a break, right? Sure she does because she has a lot on her plate. Her lazy ass husband Roger barely ever cooks so she basically has two full-time jobs! Who can blame her for wanting a break from all of the pressure?

And yet you’ve noticed some disturbing differences in Paula. She is always smiling and apparently happy. But, it’s sort of an aggressive-happy. It’s like an intense happy, a very... strange happy. The smile seems sort of frozen. It almost feels as if she is trying to convince you that she’s happy. But you know she isn’t trying to do anything, rather it’s the effects the meds are having upon her. It’s weird because it sort of seems like she is maniacally happy.

She also says she has started having some problems sleeping at night as well so her doctor prescribed some valium for her take in addition. So, now she is on at least two different pharmaceuticals simultaneously.

You decide to ask her one day, “Hey Paula, so is that safe to be on those two different drugs at the same time?”

“I’m fine!” she blurts out with this crazy smile before you barely finish asking her the question. You decide that it’s the last time you’re going to ask her. Quietly though, inside of your own mind, you are thinking that she does not look well. Sure, she is functional. However, she also seems really strained and intense. Her interactions no longer feel authentic to you. It feels as if she is talking at you, but not talking to you.

Well, the reason you wanted to learn more about the antidepressants was because you have felt depressed and anxious on and off while at work yourself. You wanted to learn enough to see if it was a good choice. What you found out is that, instead of suffering externally, you may wind up trading it for suffering internally, quietly. Paula appears to be fine to anyone who isn’t really paying attention. But if you pay attention, you are able to see that she is simply holding on. That, behind the strained smile, is someone who is internally struggling to maintain status quo.

So, you wonder, what is the alternative?

There is an alternative. There is only one problem: your beliefs.

You have been trained to always look for the quick and easy fix.

You have been trained that it's okay to outsource your well-being to a drug.

You have allowed yourself to listen to actors in white lab coats on TV and, via subconscious entrainment, have begun to believe what they say. You eventually allowed yourself to take it as law.

It’s your responsibility, but it’s not your fault. You didn’t know what was happening to your subconscious mind. You were not forewarned that, eventually one day in the future of the planet, there would be a war for your mind. How could you have known? How could anyone have predicted that the motivation to sell you things would eventually become the motivation to control your mind?

Well sure, some people knew and predicted it. But most of us, well we went happily about our business, completely unaware of the impending doom.

But, the problem still lies within you, within your subconscious beliefs. It’s because you’ve been entrained to believe in taking a pill instead of doing the work.

But, it’s not too late. In fact, it’s never too late to take back control over your mind, emotions, and your health. It’s never too late to reclaim your life and live emotionally pain free while simultaneously being drug free. In fact, right now is the perfect time to take control of your life!

Step 1

So, the first step is for you to understand how this all started. Well, it begins because you don’t like the feeling of being out of control, right? But, this is also the big clue: you don’t like feeling out of control. So, what is the number one thing you want to avoid if you don’t want to either look or feel like you are out of control? You don’t want to break down or overreact to a situation at work, right?

So, how does this translate? It means that you bottle up your emotions. After all, emotions are weak, aren’t they? We’ve been trained to believe that to show your emotions, especially while at work, is to appear weak or inferior. Well, nobody wants to lose their shit at work and start crying. Because we’ve been entrained to believe that showing emotion at work is to appear weak, if you do so then people may actually begin to treat you differently. So now it’s not simply that you don’t want to appear weak, but that you have an actual reason to not want to show your emotions to other people at work. They will quite likely treat you differently. In fact, they may treat you differently, probably, for like… ever. That’s big fun! Now everyone talks down to you, asks you if you are okay, gives you less workload, and basically acts as if you are an infant. You don't deserve this, it's just how we handle emotion in society.

Thus, since you can’t afford to look for a completely new job with completely new coworkers, then you can’t break down and cry at work. But, does it have to be at work? No, of course not. Wait… I’m getting ahead of myself here.

The culprit is that you are suppressing your emotions instead of letting them out, basically. Over time this turns you into a pressure cooker. Since you can’t quit your job and move to an island (because you have bills, kids, family, obligations, etc.) then you have to find a way to deal with this. This is why you start the antidepressants. It often seems like the only answer and it’s so easy to get these days. Why not?

So that’s step 1: to understand this starts because you feel out of control because you live in a society that shuns the expression of the emotions that you are trying to suppress which creates the feeling of anxiety.

Step 2

You have to decide that you are willing to take responsibility for your life. This may seem a bit silly or perhaps even condescending to you? It may seem trite or overly simplistic or even philosophical. But, the truth is the truth is the truth. You have to, right now, in this moment, decide that you are going to take responsibility for your life. In other words, for those who are ready, you are not going to outsource your life to a pill any longer. This isn’t ‘shiny object’ syndrome here. This is a real guide to getting you off of the meds and bringing you back from the walking dead.

When you firmly and definitively decide that you are ready to take responsibility for your life and quit outsourcing to meds, then you may proceed to step 3.

Step 3

Part of the reason why your emotional body never heals is because you are never present. So your next step is going to be to become present more often in your own life. But, like I said, I’m not going to leave you with any intangibles or philosophies here. Instead, I’m going to provide you with a tool set, that if followed, will get those of you who are ready off of the antidepressants.

In this step you are going to begin to take small pockets of time throughout the day to just be. But, you’re going to do this is in a specific way. I’m not going to leave anything to chance or individual interpretation here which is the great failing of many who attempt to teach this profound work.

Three times during the day you are going to take three minutes. Not four minutes and not two minutes, but exactly three. You’re going to use your smart phone to facilitate this. In other words, you’re going to time the three minute intervals on your phone. You will do this once in the morning before your day gets started, once in the afternoon in the middle of the day, and then again in the evening.

During those three minutes, you are going to sit with your eyes closed. You will take three deep breaths in the beginning when you first start the timer and close your eyes. Then, for the remainder of the three minutes you will simply sit with your eyes closed. That’s it, that’s all for this step.

Before you move successfully into the next step you need to complete this for one week. This means you need to do this exercise for 7 straight days before you move into the next step. Remember, this is not the shiny object syndrome. Remember also, you agreed that you are ready to take full responsibility for your life or you wouldn’t be reading this far.

Step 4

Okay, so now that you have completed your first week of sitting and breathing with your eyes closed for three minutes, three times a day, then you are ready to integrate the next step into your life. And, if you have really done this first exercise, then you will already have begun to feel a small difference in your emotional state. You will have begun to feel ever so slightly more balanced. It is not the solution, of course, but is the beginning of a process that will heal all of the suppressed emotional charges lodged inside of you. Now that you have successfully demonstrated the discipline to follow these beginning instructions for the first 7 days, you are ready to take the next step.

Your next step is to begin to modify your diet, ever so slightly. You will begin by decreasing the amount of caffeine, alcohol, sugar, and/or fast food you intake by exactly 25%. It is up to you to discern the quantity of food this translates into.

Why mess with your diet? After all, we’re talking about getting you off of meds not junk food, right?

Yes we are. But, more importantly, we’re talking about reclaiming your life. For many of you, part of the problem will be your diet. Drinking Latte’s in the morning, Burger King in the afternoon, and then a glass of wine at night wreaks absolute, devastating havoc on your biochemistry. In turn, this translates to a compromised emotional state. The literal translation is that it can give you biochemical anxiety or depression. Usually what happens is that it serves to exacerbate your already compromised emotional state.

So, another question: why do I say 25%? Why don’t I say 50%, or 75%, or even 100%?

I want to help you to make an actual life change, which means something that you do for the rest of your life. I know that the ‘all or nothing’ shiny object-fad/syndrome shit doesn't work. What works, only about 10,000,000 times better, is to make small, incremental changes. Instead of bouncing back off of the yo-yo/roller coaster fad diet/plan/etc, it is better for you to make real life changes. Your diet, which simply means ‘what you eat,’ plays an integral role in all of this.

So begin, right now, to take stock of all the crap that you take in. This includes all of the things that you rationalize as ‘good for you’ or ‘harmless’, but of which, you actually know is not good for you (you can tell this by how you feel the next day/morning after you do it). Now, figure out what 1/4th less of each of these items looks like.

Successfully execute this for one week and then you are ready to add in the next step. It’s true, doing this for one week is next to meaningless when it comes to committing yourself to making life changes. However, it’s important to build each step, one upon the next, in order to create a safe foundation to begin to wean yourself off of meds.

Step 5

Although this is step 5, technically it’s only the beginning of week #3. This is because we’ve only covered two actual action-steps thus far. This will be your third action oriented step to take and ultimately integrate into your plan to get off of the meds.

At this point, if you are really serious about getting off of the meds and, as a result, have taken the first couple of steps, you will have begun feeling a little better already. You will notice feeling more balanced and a little more peaceful. It cannot help but to be so. In fact, if you are not prepared for it then it may feel alien to you. In fact, you may even reject it or feel fearful of it. This is because your psyche is so used to being bombarded with endless thoughts that, to not think seems foreign. To actually take a break from endless thinking creates a gap where peace and emotional balance can enter into. Thus, it’s important to welcome the newfound feelings of peace and wellbeing and allow them to enter into your mind unimpeded when they do come.

Your psyche is now relatively prepared for step 5, which is emotional integration. Now that you have begun to create space for your mind to rest, some of the thoughts and feelings that you have been running away from for your entire life will begin to come to the surface. Instead of panicking and diving back into the whirlwind that may or may not have been your coping mechanism, you’re going to do something radical. And, easy.

When the emotion or thought comes that is uncomfortable and perhaps even threatens to overwhelm you then you are going to change your strategy. You are going to fully allow it to surface. You are going to allow it to come up to the surface and be here with you right now. This will be one of the most profound things that you have ever done in your entire life. Not only is this going to lead you to a ‘med-free lifestyle’ but it’s going to lead you to consistent emotional balance.

In the mountains of Tibet there exists a group of Buddhist Monks that have an ancient practice. They perform an act called ‘Burning Through Your Karma’. This simply means to sit with all of your emotions and allow them to be, unconditionally. They arise and you allow them to move through you without any judgment. They may come as sadness, despair, grief, anger, jealousy, envy, resentment, and so on. It doesn’t matter, they all get their expression now. Notice I didn’t say they get their ‘voice.’ I said they get their expression.

Why? What’s the difference?

Well, because this is difficult to explain, a person might mistakenly think that I meant to get angry or get sad. This is not at all what is meant or what these monks do. It’s also not practical to sit all day when you have a fulltime 9-5 and kids to take care of when you come home. So this is not what is being asked of you. You are not going to move to the mountains, skip all of your responsibilities, and then feel sad and depressed or angry and resentful.

Instead, you are going to allow your (so called) negative thoughts and emotions to surface fully. When this happens, you may have to excuse yourself for around 3-5 minutes. It won’t take any longer than that though. You will go to a quiet place and sit or stand with your eyes closed. You will relax your body and surrender to the feeling that the emotion or thought brings you. The more fully you allow it, the quicker this process is.

Let’s run through an example:

You’re in a business meeting and it’s week #3 so, although you are feeling more peaceful and balanced, you are also now more in touch with the underlying suppressed emotional charges that you have been running from for your entire life. You can sense them threatening to surface now and are also aware of how this has created massive anxiety for you in the past. But this time something is different. You are no longer nervous or anxious about these suppressed emotional charges because you feel more in control.

So, right in the middle of the meeting, you feel it. The emotion surfacing, threatening to overwhelm you and make you have a breakdown. Instead of having an emotional meltdown, you tell everyone you need to run to the bathroom really quickly or that you have an important call, etc. This is real life and in real life things happen so they will understand. You go into a stall in the bathroom or an unused conference or workroom where you can be alone. You close your eyes, take 2 deep breaths, and get ready. Now, you relax into it and allow the feeling that the emotion or thought has created to fully surface. You do not make it personal, you do not identify yourself as sad or angry or depressed or resentful, etc. The desire to do that is only the ego wanting to make it personal or special, which it is not. It is simply an unhealed part of you wanting to integrate.

Now ask yourself in your mind, “Could I allow this to be here with me as best as I can?” You can ask yourself this out loud or mentally within your mind, either is fine. This question will help you to allow it to be there fully. Relax into it and allow it to fully surface. The irony is that, the more fully you allow it to surface, the quicker the entire episode will be over. The even bigger irony is that, once you fully release and allow this emotion to express itself (itself not yourself), you will feel relief! You will feel as if a weight has been lifted.

Now, compose yourself, freshen up, and head back to the meeting. Executed successfully it’s like 15 years of old paradigm therapy in 5 minutes, literally. You can do this anytime, anywhere, for any reason. As you do this your life will begin to change and shift. People will behave differently around you as you begin to drain out all of the emotional junk that you have been carrying around for the past however many decades. Although some changes may be rather dramatic they will all be very positive. Most of the changes will be subtle though. The only thing that is important for you to remember is that things may begin to actually shift in your physical life and to simply allow those changes to happen without being fearful of them.

You will execute emotional integration any time you feel negative emotion surfacing within you. When you relax and allow it to fully surface you will see all of the anxiety begin to dissipate from your life as if by magic. It will always only take you around 3-5 minutes each time and each time will be different. You may end up doing 3 of these sessions/day for three weeks or only 1/day for a month. It's different for every person.

Here are the bullets:

• You feel it coming on as a negative emotion getting ready to surface
• You excuse yourself to find a quiet place where you will not be disturbed for at least 3-5 minutes
• You then proceed to allow the emotion to fully surface without personalizing it or making it about you
• Ask yourself either out loud or within your mind “Could I allow this to fully be here with me as best as I can?”
• You let the emotion fully run its course, which could mean crying, feeling anger, etc.
• You shake it off, freshen up, return to your activity, done

Now, we’re ready to move on.

Step 6

Okay, so now we’re getting somewhere. If you’ve gotten this far then you must actually be serious about getting off of the meds and taking control of your life. You are sick of being an unpaid cast member of The Walking Dead. Also, you have taken the steps leading up to this point and have witnessed the miraculous results and so have begun this seriously. Having performed these steps you now know that they work and so you are sold.

Good deal.

Wait, before we continue, let me quickly answer a question that may have popped into your head. It’s important to note that, if you are asking yourself this question now, that you have probably asked this question before as well. It’s this: “So, how long will I have to do this for?”

Yeah, if you are asking yourself that question now, chances are you have asked yourself that question in the past. And, if this is you, then you have fallen victim to societies ‘instant gratification syndrome.’ This question is deadly to anyone who desires lasting change and improvement in their lives. It means that you believe it shouldn’t take so long and it also means that you have been entrained into believing that it shouldn’t take effort. Tell that to Da Vince, or Picasso, or Mozart, or Mother Theresa. Tell that to Richard Branson. Tell that to the Wright Brothers. Tell that to Harriet Tubman.

Our modern day world has become so watered down, worshipping, praising, and validating ‘average thinking’ that it’s somewhat of a miracle that super achievers still exist! However, it’s completely fine if you think that you may be an average person. Nothing wrong with that at all. The only insidious thing about it is the self-validating aspect of allowing yourself to ask that question: “How long will this take?” Scrap that question right now, for the entire rest of your life, and never look back.

Okay, now that we’re past that, we can resume our mission to get you off of the meds and reclaim control of your life.

For step 6 you are going to begin to practice 10 minutes of daily meditation in the morning, for the entire rest of your life. It’s true that, if you take all of these steps and, especially the emotional integration, within 6 weeks you will be feeling much better. Within 6 months it’s highly likely that you will be completely off of meds for the rest of your life. However, to continue beyond that and make these changes into ‘life changes’ is superior to only doing this to get a certain result and then stopping. I urge you to think of this as the foundation for living an entirely new and different lifestyle.

For your meditation you will utilize the ‘so hum’ mantra meditation. It’s easy and effective and you can follow the link to learn how to do it. The only thing I will add is that you need to pick a time, the exact same time, every morning and perform it at that time. You may be wondering if ten minutes is long enough to affect change in your life. Ten minutes a day will net you some serious compound interest on your returns down the road, believe you me.

This is another one of the steps that, upon consistent practice, will begin to yield to you the feelings of peace and wellbeing, subtly over time.

Step 7

Okay, so it’s time for the bold move. In this step, which will actually not take place in week #4 as one would logically assume, but instead in week #6, you are going to begin to wean yourself off of the meds. Now this is a tricky step for a few different reasons.

It’s tricky because:

1. You must make this decision on your own. Every single person is different and reacts differently to either being on meds or getting off of them. Some people will be able to wean themselves off more quickly than others. Some will definitely need supervision. However, the control is in your hands and you deserve emotional freedom.
2. There is probably a medical doctor/psychiatrist type person involved who may or may not have a self-serving interest (investment) in keeping you on meds. There are many good, heart-centered practitioners who will only prescribe or recommend meds as an absolute last resort to help you maintain societal functionality. Unfortunately, for every one of those, there are dozens who will recommend meds at the drop of the hat.
3. You must do this gradually so that you do not have an adverse reaction and sabotage yourself. If, you have either been on meds for more than a year or you depend upon them to maintain functionality, then it’s possible you will benefit from the help of a heart-centered therapist.

The end result is that you need to utilize an integral approach. Unless you are self-prescribing meds, you are going to attempt to work with your therapist/psychiatrist/M.D. on this. Again, this is tricky because unfortunately the system is set up to reward practitioners for keeping you on the meds. So, it’s possible that some of you will be running into a situation where your dealer doesn’t want to let you get off of the crack rock. If this happens, it’s up to you to discern this and proceed anyway. Or, switch to another doctor who you feel has more integrity and then proceed. Another way of saying this is that, if your doctor doesn’t seem to want to let you go off of the meds, there may be something amiss.

The exceptions would be drastic:

-You are suicidal, then yes, you would want to stay on the meds for now

-You have massive anxiety attacks, to the point where you will pass out or feel like you are having a heart attack, etc

-You simply cannot function either via lack of sleep or lack of focus to the point where you are a wreck and will lose your job

Really, even then you will eventually want to get off of the meds. However, these are examples of when it could be valid to stay on the meds for the time being. Again, I am not a doctor, so these are gross generalizations. Outside of this, if your doctor/practitioner tries to discourage you from getting off of the meds then they may have an investment in keeping you doped up. It’s okay to get a second or even third opinion if you run into resistance here.

As with anything in life, if you want to make it into a life change, meaning a permanent change, then you will do it gradually with baby steps. Since I cannot prescribe or un-prescribe the dosages of your meds, then take this as a basic template for the timeframe around decreasing dosages.

If you continue to practice all of the steps mentioned here, then it’s highly likely that you can successfully execute this inside of a year, perhaps even less. Some people may need more time in this process. Generally, the longer you have been on the meds, the greater the time frame you need to give yourself to get off of them. Here is a basic six month plan:

6 Month Plan

• Month 0 (Day 1): reduce by 25%. You are now at 75% dosage.
• Month 2             : reduce by 25%. You are now at 50% dosage.
• Month 4             : reduce by 25%. You are now at 25% dosage.
• Month 6             : you are completely off, done.

Of course, the key with this, as with anything, is to be consistent with all facets of the plan. If you were to simply dive into this and begin decreasing the meds without addressing the underlying issues within your psyche it would likely backfire. Not only would it backfire, but you might wind up in bad shape. The short of it is that your life would likely take a big dip down and it would cost you valuable time trying to recover in the variety of ways that you suffered from having the dip.

So, to bypass the roller coaster ride from hell, you need to either, follow this plan and do everything that is suggested, or don’t do it. If you’re going to do this then you need to do it the right way. In this case, it means following all of the steps listed and not skipping a single one. If you do, you stand a really good chance of regaining the emotional wellbeing and peace of mind that is your birthright. Your life was not meant to be an emotional prison. It was meant to feel good!