7 Simple Servant Leadership Lessons To Be Thankful For

Wait, what, it’s almost Thanksgiving already?

Yes, this time of year seems to blast by, and it’s a great time to reflect on what we have learned and are thankful for.

Please make time for yourself for this activity. There’s even a holiday coming up, appropriately called Thanksgiving, that gives an opportunity to reflect and jot a few things down. Score!

So, here are the seven leadership lessons that I’m thankful to have learned, and re-learned, this year. I hope they motivate you to create your own list. Enjoy!

1. Get Away: On the surface, this will sound like you are abandoning your post or that I’m suggesting running away. Actually, this is to help you be more effective and return uber productive. You see, just slogging away, without any real recharge, makes you a less effective leader (and cranky as hell). They also stopped giving away trophies for those chained to their keyboards and phones. Joking aside, if you are at all like me, the likelihood of a blow up (even a quiet one) is higher if you stay in things that are triggering you at work. Now, logistically and financially, making a getaway can be challenging, so perhaps look to micro-getaways. This could be something like booking a massage, planning an afternoon hike, lounging somewhere warm, yoga, spending an afternoon with a friend, or something different that truly recharges you. Please do be careful with looking to get trashed as your getaway idea - it might be “fun” for a moment, but it simply won’t accomplish the recharge goal.?
2. Let Them: This is a Mel Robbins Robbins thing and it’s brilliant. You should check out her book and podcast on this for sure. Instead of getting caught up in what people are saying and thinking about you (or more likely, what you think they are saying), just let them. If they are doing things that don’t make sense at work and they didn’t listen to your ideas, just let them. If they didn’t fund the most important project to you, let them. If the reorg was dumb and they didn’t listen to you, let them. Again, this isn’t running away. But, after doing your best to explain things and be your best self, you are not accountable for other people’s actions or beliefs. And, you can’t shape them as much as you may hope. It’s hard to do for super engaged humans, and it’s critical that you “let them”. Just be your best self, seek to do the right thing, and own it (and apologize) when you mess up on that journey. Otherwise, let them.
3. Serve: This is such an easy notion, and also so easy to forget. Whenever I am stressed out about a presentation or delivery of something, I realize that the focus is on myself. It’s easy to freak out, get nervous and do all those anxious things in “performance mode”. However, the moment I remember that I’m here to serve, it gets easier. Instead of freaking out about a presentation’s performance and saying the “right things”, shift the focus to answer “how can I serve this audience?” or “what can I share/teach them?” or even better “how can I help them?” When things get gnarly or just mildly blah, get curious how you can serve better. It shifts everything. Bonus - your team will notice and copy your service mode.
4. Network: Okay, I’ll be honest - networking scares the (insert your favorite word here) out of me. I’m an introvert and often view people as scary. I know, I know, snap out of it and serve Chris! Later in my career, I was not networking as much - digitally or otherwise. That was a big miss. When I was laid-off in early summer, it was my old network (and new one) that made all the difference. People were willing to meet in person or Zoom for 30 minutes - and all of them had some sort of idea to help me. And, yes, each conversation gave me an opportunity to serve. There were always one or two things I could do to help them out. Networking also came with many subtle surprises later. As I was applying to roles, people came out of the woodwork to support me, provide recommendations, and the like. Given the chance, most people want to help - we just have to remember, or be brave enough, to ask. If you are looking for a place to start, export all your LinkedIn contacts and message one per weekday to set up a 20 minute chat. You can use calendly or google calendar to automate the exciting “time finding” activities and coordination.
5. Ask For Help: One of the most impactful ways you can start an email is with “can I please ask for your help?” Yes, it’s humbling to admit you don’t have it all together or that you need someone else. Trust me, I tend to go it alone and think I have to be perfect. My advice (to myself here too) is to get over that pride as fast as you can and ask for help. Whenever I have started email or other conversations with this simple phrase, the answer is yes. There must be some prehistoric programming here that kicks in, because it’s like magic. People actually want to help, given the chance. If you want bonus points, have a P.S. with something like "By the way, is there any way I can help you?”
6. Building Up People Creates Lifelong Support As a leader, if you are always looking to build your people up, and remove obstacles that get in their way, they’ll remember it forever. And, they’ll give you lifelong support when you might need it the most. With a great deal of humility, I’ll share this story. About a week after I was laid-off, my team organized and had a private Zoom call with me. They completely drove this activity, and I certainly didn’t expect it. On that call, I was absolutely stunned with the nice things they said to me. People who didn’t like to be on camera were on camera. Now, while my intentions are always good, I’ve had my moments where I’m a hothead. In fact, my team would joke about “releasing the Kraken” when I would get upset. However, all of the things I value and really wanted to happen for them clearly did. That’s what they remembered. Again, focussing on service and servant leadership “pays” massively here. Sadly, this is more absent in corporate America than ever. Just small amounts of empathy and validation, and looking out for your team from their perspective makes a huge difference. Bonus - you don’t need any funding for this or to get any committee approvals - just take action and do it.
7. Allies Will Surprise You As if my magic, some of the folks I least expected to help, showed up in a big way. As I was networking, a contact that I sort-of knew made time to meet in person. She then connected me with two c-levels she knew well. Yeah, that. Along with having a better relationship with a new colleague, she intros greatly helped my job search. There are many other examples of this, as I discovered that I truly had allies I didn’t even know existed. It turns out that, if you are a person of service, others want to also see you do well too. It’s almost like the “can I please ask for your help” message remains as a soft background whisper to them. When opportunities present themselves, they answer that question and call to action in unexpected ways. It’s pretty rad.

Now, you’ve probably read hundreds of short articles like this with a list. The algorithms like them, and maybe the quick dopamine hit makes them more fun and predictable.

Really though, it comes down to this - everyone has moments of being a great leader, every day. We all lead big and small things. Much of great leadership is simply reminding ourselves of things we already know.?

So, my hope is that this article was a friendly reminder to you. Please remember to keep stepping into the amazing, service-based leader that you already are. Thank you for doing that - the world needs it more than ever!

Happy Thanksgiving!

… P.S. Oh yeah, and how can I help you? Message me to let me know!

#leadership #reflection #servantleadership #reflection #thanksgiving