7 Signs of Common Intimacy Issues
Nancy Ryan, M.A., LMFT
Certified Gottman Therapist - CEO of RTC specializing in Couples Counseling
It’s not a secret that intimacy in the relationship is crucial. It fuels it. We define intimacy as both physical and emotional closeness. It creates a deep bond between partners. It's unique and helps us build a healthy, romantic, and compatible relationship. This makes us feel happy and satisfied as a couple and as individuals.
All of us desire healthy, honest, and strong relationships. One, where we can be ourselves. Independent, respected, and loved. This is how it should be, right??
Sometimes a fairytale doesn’t go in the right direction. You start to experience what we call "trouble in paradise". Sometimes it hits you like a train, and sometimes…you just don’t see it coming.
So how can you know you experience intimacy issues in your relationship?
Let’s start with a few simple questions:
1. Have you experienced less intimacy in the relationship lately (physical and/or emotional)? For how long? How and when does it show up? How do you and your partner feel about it?
2. Have you been feeling more disconnected and distant from your partner lately??
3. Do you still pay attention to each other?
4. Do you support and help each other?
5. Have you been less interested in sex?
6. You prefer to spend time on your own rather than with your significant other?
7. Do you take care of each other? Cuddle, hold hands? Or does it feel more like a friendship at the moment?
If you answered “yes” to more than 2 questions, you might experience intimacy issues in your relationship.
There is a way to make it all better.
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What can you do, and how may it help you?
Two words. Couples therapy. If you tried everything before to make your relationship work and failed-consider therapy. The therapist can help you and your partner work through your issues and resolve them. Again, professionally. You will be in this process together.?
While in therapy, you can be open, vulnerable and learn how to actively listen to your partner. It’s a safe space that is really hard to find in our everyday life. Couples therapy can help strengthen friendship and bonding. Also, it can increase intimacy between you and your partner. It’s a first, deep step towards the relationship you really want. One that will fulfill you and restore the magic that has been lost for a while.?
You may find couples therapy very beneficial.?
Speaking to a therapist can help you overcome insecurities. It can also help you form healthy emotional relationships with your significant other. But, it won’t be fast and easy. It’s a process, and you need to be dedicated to this. Both of you. To make it successful.?
And once you do it, your significant other (only if you are both actively participating). Also, you may find much more than the intimacy you have lost in the relationship. You may discover your authentic self, find and take deeper care of your needs, and rebuild your self-worth.?
Sometimes you might feel stuck in the relationship. You stop being happy and have no bond, physical contact, and intimacy. It means it’s time to act if you want to save your relationship. Noticing it’s the first and most crucial step. What will you do next it’s up to you. Start with a conversation. Trust a specialist who can become your guide. This maze may be full of contradictory feelings when it fails to work.
Begin Couples Counseling in the Sacramento Area:?
If you are ready to learn how to deal with the problems in your relationship, the therapists at The Relationship Therapy Center in Fair Oaks, CA and Roseville, CA can help! Our therapists are ready to support you and your partner in your journey towards creating a healthy and happy relationship. To begin counseling in the Sacramento, CA area, please follow these three simple steps:
Other Services offered at The Relationship Therapy Center in California:
In addition to couples counseling, OurSacramento area counseling clinics located in Roseville and Fair Oaks, CA are pleased to offer a variety of mental health services. Our couples counseling services include:Counseling after infidelity,sex therapy,co-parent counseling, family therapy,divorce counseling,couples therapy retreats,andpremarital counseling. Ourindividual therapy services include,anxiety treatment,trauma therapy,teen therapy,therapy for children,codependency counseling,depression treatment, andindividual relationship counseling. We also offer online counseling to California residents. Pleasecontact our office to learn more about the many ways we can help you and your loved ones.