7 Reasons You Shouldn’t Mind Negative People

Dealing with negative people is the most draining experience I can think of. I’ve seen it play out in people’s lives and I’ve experienced it firsthand. It’s also one of the most common obstacles known in every country or culture we can cross; when it comes to success, the surrounding negative energy is very critically determinant. It’s documented that a negative work environment can affect productivity and employee morale; and, while failures are, for the most part, linked to the quitting mindset, quitters are believed to be born from a discouraging, demoralizing, and unsupportive environment. How do we deal with this?

Well, guaranteeing ourselves a homogenized positive surrounding is quite phantasmic! The only option we have is to overcome our demonic negativity bias. Sherley MacLaine says that “dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” And of course, you’ve heard from Ziad K. Abdelnour that “a negative mind will never give you a positive life”. Although negative energy comes from our environment, it’s up to us to determine its impact on our becoming by choosing the way we react to it. Charles R. Swindoll says it best: “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.”

Trust me, it’s easier said than done! Our mindset comes straight from our knowledge to drive our actions and reactions. We react to things based on how informed we are about both ourselves and our environment. It’s like going to a competition, knowing the rules of the game is key to winning the prize; and it’s easier to remain focused, away from detractive influence, if you know how to not mind negative people in your entourage. Well, I have a cheat code to give you a leg up in the game. I’m about to share with you seven reasons you shouldn’t mind negative people, which you can use to counter every single negative blow coming your way and stay on track.

1.- People always have a lot to say when you’re making efforts and working on yourself, but very little to say when it comes to actually contributing value to your life.

One of the things we can all agree on is that there are always more critics than help the same way there are always more hands to clap your success than there are to help you lift the load. What we need to understand on our journey to success is how to differentiate those who hatefully talk to shake our foundation from those who want to help us strengthen it. Trust me, there’s no way you can confuse them! They don’t look alike at all! However, too often we let the haters win by raising their volume over the positive boost our soul needs. The reason for that is most of the time because they always look stronger due to their vast number, therefore we tend to think they must be right about what they’re saying. It's a tricky situation and that’s where a lot of goals and dreams get assassinated!

You shouldn’t mind people who are not adding value to your becoming. Too many of us cling to people who only have negative feelings, content, and energy to share. All they can see is our flaws and all they can wish for is our fall. We do ourselves a disservice by giving them access to our minds! I understand that it’s hard sometimes because too often it’s our very own loved ones and it’s hard not to consider their opinions. Here’s what I think: Your life is a very important business, “the best project you’ll ever work on” as Yax Sheth says. You should realize that you should be very strategic and not emotional about the advice, the comments, and the reviews you allow on your business page. That’s how you win!

2.- Only a loser will call you a loser.

Here me out on this one. It’s always going to be a loser bullying you and calling you a loser. It is so because losers tend to project their reality onto those who refuse to give up where they did and try what they never tried. A winner always knows that your current situation has nothing to do with your destiny and there’s always room for success as long as you don’t give up. Neil DeGrass Tyson articulated this very beautifully saying: “Whether or not you can never become great at something, you can always become better at it. Don’t ever forget that! And don’t say you’ll never be good. You can become better! And one day you’ll wake up and you’ll find out how good you actually become.”

Understanding this gave me a very competitive advantage over the bullies who wanted to put a thorn in my mind at every step. They will never stop reminding you how much of a loser you are and how much more of a disappointment you’re setting yourself up to be with the evil goal of breaking your legs and driving your mind into quitting. You shouldn’t mind a quitter and a loser who didn’t have the perseverance and the guts to run their race and now is calling you into quitting yours. Well, it’s easy to discard this one! Are you trying to lose? I guess not! Then why would you allow a loser to be your lead?

3.- The more we know, the humbler we become. The more we do, the wiser we become, and the more we live through, the more supportive and understanding we become.

Knowledge is very important; it defines everything we are. The Bible states that “[…] people are destroyed for lack of knowledge […].” That’s one of the things that negative people lack and why you shouldn’t mind them. My experience taught me that those who know are more likely to teach rather than judge and those who experience success are more prone to instruct rather than misleadingly badmouth. This is one thing I experienced myself. I became an instructor as I grew up and anyone walking the path of positive becoming can observe the same transformation as well. We feel the urge to influence others as we grow instead of putting them down no matter how foolish they might look in their ways. Those who put others down are actually pulling them down to their levels. They are just not strong enough to lift others.

I don’t know how many times I read and still can read everywhere that you should surround yourself with people who lift you, people who have achieved something and can help you move forward, etc. For clarification, our surroundings are not who are around us, it’s who we listen to, and who has access to our mind. We can’t control who we meet at our workplace, school, or are part of our family, but we can control who we pay our focus to. Are they lifting us or dragging us to the dust? Are they educating, instructing, and cautioning us or are they judging and badmouthing us? See the difference and the choice is yours to make.

4.- Those who accomplished little to nothing become arrogant; those who accomplished much become wise.

Another lesson I learned in life was how deeply transformative goal achieving is. Those with great success tend to be very kind to others struggling to make a difference. Most, if not all the help you need will always come from someone who has accomplished something significantly great enough to humble him into understanding that your cry for help isn’t a pity, but a normal overpass that we all cross to our becoming and success. I heard once that those at the bottom maliciously criticize each other way more than those at the top. The higher you go in the developmental chain, the less of this barbaric behavior you see; the wiser people tend to become. One might argue that there are plenty of arrogant perverts at the top. Well, true; but that has a lot to do with their journey of becoming and is a whole other topic.

As I mentioned before, we should forge a mindset that retains all the power to choose who and what we allow to enter our mind and craft it. Being exposed to something doesn’t mean you have to forcibly absorb it. That’s one way I learned to not mind negative people because I understand that the ultimate influence is the one of my choosing. Being close to me doesn’t mean you’re in my circle and hearing your words doesn’t mean they accessed my mind.

5.- Those who are obsessed with being better than others and putting them down are, more than you think, insecure and are surprisingly projecting their feeling of inferiority.

The world is a very competitive place, but negative people are not competitive; they have a low self-esteem complex that prevents them from feeling secure in their own skin without belittling someone else. Another thing negative people do as well is build a mold for others to fit in and if you fail to fit in their little world, then you’re the subject of judgements. This is a problem of self-worth and misunderstanding their own uniqueness and that of their purpose in life. This type of negativity is very entrapping and a lot of folks I know get lost following someone else’s manipulative steps rather than their own, just to feel accepted and fit in.

I experience this all the time because people we encounter always tend to have a mold ready for everyone they want in their circle. It’s ok. What is not okay is for you to settle for what’s not yours. Understanding my uniqueness and knowing that I can't and don't have to belong everywhere was key in standing my ground when it came to dealing with the negative judgment that made me feel like if I don’t fit the mass’ footsteps, then I’m a failure. My journey is not just personal, it’s unique; so is yours.

6.- Not everything wrong people say or do should be wrongly received by you: Learn to absorb the power of the impact and use it for your momentum.

Let me say this again. Your circle is not a physical bubble that you walk in shielded from negativity. Unless you’re living in some kind of Marvel Cinematic Universe, then we know that can’t happen. You can’t avoid negative people like I said before. They’re in your family, at schools, at the workplace, and all over society. You’ll hear what they say, see what they do, and watch the impacts unfold. Another thing is that you can’t close yourself to criticism unless you don’t understand its potential to power your momentum. Whether positive or negative, criticism can be a good thing if you know how to respond to it. “A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” Says David Brinkley.

One of my favorite protagonists is the character Cole Young in the 2021 Mortal Kombat movie. After discovering his superpower, his body shield could literally absorb impacts and redirect them to his advantage. Each enemy attack strengthens his body rather than weakening it. Well, you might say that’s just a movie, however, I’ve practiced this and seen people practice it and the results are more than satisfyingly positive. You need a lot of confidence and a very strategic processing mind for you to be able to choose the right bricks to lay at your foundation. Not all the brick thrown at you can be used, not all of them, even ill-intended is worthless either. Again, the choice is always yours!

7.- Game on.

Life is a game, not a battle. An unknown author says that “the game of life has two participants: spectators and players. Pick one.” But before you pick, let me say this: the spectators are always the noisiest, outnumbering the players by very large quantities. They will clap only when you score, but they will badmouth strategies they don’t understand. They will talk over you, shout at you when you miss, and if you lose a game, you’ll be put down lamentably. Whereas, the players, although very few, will help you refocus, train harder, and re-strategize for a potential win the next time. It’s very important to understand this distinction. It’s crucial, although appreciated, to not fall for the thirst for approval from the spectators.

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To repeat Hugh Hefner, “Life is too short to be living somebody else’s dream.” Especially somebody who doesn’t intend well and wishes only for your demise. Or someone who can’t see you succeed beyond their level. Tyler Perry noted “Some people do want you to do good until you’re doing better than them. That’s when the jealousy starts.” This makes me extra careful now that I know that not everyone who might have access to my mind genuinely wants to see me through the full development of my potential. Then again, it comes down to how you craft your environment, select, and weigh everything coming your way before allowing them to access your foundation.

Above all, you need to be a constant learner, observant, and focused. Being constantly learning is key to building unshakable confidence. Being observant is key to knowing what and who is knocking at your door and growing the discernment to pick properly. Being focused is articulating what you want and keeping your eyes on it. These three superpowers were the keys I used to stay away from negative people, not mind their blows, and use the bricks they threw at me to build an outstanding castle. You can do the same and climb the ladder very successfully. But always remember, the choice is yours to make.