7 Phrases To Build Trust

I read an excellent article by?KATIE BURKE, the Chief People Officer at Hubspot. She gives us 7 simple phrases to use more often in the workplace to foster trust amongst team members. Apart from her genius in identifying these areas of improvement, her emphasis on phrases as tools to reinforce positive behaviors in the office is also a masterstroke. This in my opinion is because somehow we tend to remember phrases better than behaviors. For instance if I give two competing instructions to my brain to remember, it is easier for my brain to remember "Say thank you to her." than "I need to be thankful to her". Phrases, not unlike filmi dialogues, have a tendency to become entrenched in our memories.

I have arranged these 7 phrases in increasing order of difficulty / importance-

1) Welcome to the team: This one is fairly common. New recruits are so inundated with this phrase that it has lost some of its sheen. Some people spice it up a little by replacing "the team" with "the club" or "the party". Sometimes veteran team members will scare the noobs with a gruff "Welcome to the real world soldier.".

2) I'm signing off: This one refers to putting a cut-off on office communication after hours. I think with WFH model people have become more aware of this one. Nobody likes managers who message you at random hours asking for updates that are already marinating in their inboxes. If you're the kind of manager who gets ideas at 2 am and sends messages to the team about them at unearthly hours, also let them know that you do not expect them to come back immediately. You might want to read this post for more clarity on how to achieve this.

3) Tell me more: Listening is more important than speaking and is a sure-fire way of establishing trust. Everyone loves an empathetic, active listener. Yet a culture of giving advice rather than actively listening to colleagues' thoughts, persists in most Indian offices. Active listening is only deployed while gossiping or talking office politics. This one is also helpful for generating new ideas, lateral thinking and brainstorming.

4) I appreciate you because..: People usually utter these words for colleagues only under the influence of alcohol or when they are about to leave. Don't wait, if you appreciate someone's efforts, let them know. It doesn't have to be a big sweeping gesture in front of the entire team but it needs to be genuine. We need to inculcate a habit of complimenting people and no, "Nice outfit" doesn't count. Make sure the compliment means something to the recipient.

5) What do you see that I don't see?: This one is very important. Usually juniors will be scared to point out flaws in team plans in front of their boss. This phrasing bypasses that filter by admitting that there may be things the boss doesn't see and that one is humble enough to admit that. Added bonus, the person being asked feels important to have been consulted and is forced to really think beyond the official party line. You, may even get fence-sitters to join your cause once you make them think & care.

6) I've got you: This is applicable to everyone and not just leaders. Nothing inspires trust like taking over the cudgels for someone in need. You will be remembered as dependable and hence trustworthy. More often than not, they will be looking for chances to pay back the favor in the future. The corollary to this statement is that you should ask for help when you need it. Don't be ashamed of asking for help. Hearing "I need your help on this" makes people feel important and powerful. Admitting one's need for help also signals honesty and candor which are cornerstones of any trusting relationship. Giving and receiving help both strengthen bonds between the parties.

7) I am sorry: The most difficult of these. When they make a mistake, leaders should not gloss over them but rather accept their mistakes voluntarily. If you've hurt someone, apologize. I've seen strong, trusting relationships get built with a simple heartfelt apology. On the flip side the lack of an apology causes irreparable damage to the relationship. Apologising doesn't make you smaller but instead it shows that you're more mature.

It will be helpful to keep these phrases put up on your work-desk / desktop / phone background so that these phrases linger in your memory, in some cache memory somewhere. And as & when the situation arises, when you have to decide what / how to respond to someone, you can easily select one out of these phrases which will deepen the relationship between you and the people around you.