7 People You Meet on Your Road to WHY

You are on a quest. A journey. Yes, I’m talking to you.

Your quest began the day you were born. Technically, it started much earlier; let’s save that topic for a later philosophy discussion. I find those are better in person, by the beach or the fireplace with your favorite beverage in hand.

If you are reading this post, you are on that journey. You may be completely unaware of the journey or thought you were just wandering aimlessly. Nope! It’s a journey. Most of us were somewhat clueless. After all, that’s the message many of us heard.

The journey continues as long as you have life and breath. For most people I know, their journey is more like a maze than a straight-line. I find comfort in knowing that the steeper the slope, the harder the climb, the better the view from the finishing line.

If you’ve had lots of zigs and zags along the way, keep at it. Something great is just ahead of you.

Let me introduce you to seven people you will meet on your way to WHY. It’s not like there are only seven people on your road to why, but seven types of people or seven roles that people will play along the way. The order in which you meet them may vary. And some will play a significant role, others a supporting role and a few will make only cameo appearances. They are all important, even necessary.

Oh yeah, it’s important to know that they won’t be wearing name tags either to identify them and their roles. Some are flashing billboard obvious; others are hardly noticeable.

If your journey is anything like mine, you may only recognize the role someone played in retrospect. It’s also entirely possible that the people you meet are completely unaware of the role they play(ed) in your journey.

There’s no casting call, and people are not provided a script for their roles on your road to why.

Often, it’s far more organic than scripted. At least that’s how I’ve seen it play out.

Here are the seven people: Awakener, Doubter, Encourager, Hero, Mentor, Critic, and Ally.

Now let me briefly describe each of them. See how many you can identify in your life.

The Awakener

I don’t know when it happened for you, but one of the first people you meet on your Way to WHY is the awakener. The Awakener plays a critical role in your life and journey. It is the person who first rouses you to the reality that there are meaning and purpose to life, your life.

The Awakener may, or may not use the language of why, meaning, and purpose. It’s not like there is a magic phrase or incantation from the Awakening Handbook required for your awakening to occur.

But absent this awakening, you keep shuffling along in a stupor. Going through the motions, stuck in a rut. You might even have bought the lie that life is all about you and that you are (or were) the center of the universe. Then, you meet the Awakener.

The Awakener shakes you from your slumber and helps you “see the light” and get on your way to WHY.

A personal relationship with your Awakener is nice, but it’s not necessary. Many people had a “chance encounter” (yeah right) with their Awakener. Trust me, while it may have been a one-time encounter, it was an encounter with destiny, not chance.

Nor does it matter whether you met your Awakener at a convention center, chapel, or coffee shop. All that matters is that you met. And, as a result of your meeting, you are aware that life, your life, has meaning and that you matter.

Most of us share a common experience immediately following our awakening. We are so excited over our epiphany that we can’t wait to tell somebody. Unless you are extraordinarily wise, you may make a poor choice in whom you tell. Join the club.

Rather than confiding in someone who has also met their Awakener, you tell the first person you see or a good friend with whom you usually commiserate about how much life or work sucks.

Instead of seeing their eyes open, their bodies lean in, and they say, “Tell me more.” You see them lean back in their chair, fold their arms, and furrow their brow. Then you hear something like this, “Are you okay?” “I know you’re stressed, have you been drinking?”

You just encountered the Doubter. Or should I say, your first Doubter? I don’t want to dampen your enthusiasm; I just need to prepare you. You will meet many Doubters along the way; they seem to multiply like rabbits.

But there’s one Doubter that follows you everywhere you go. Everywhere. As a matter of fact, this one lives with you. Sorry, correction, that Doubter lives in you.

The most detrimental and determined Doubter I encounter is the one embedded in my head. The one who stares me down in the mirror and screams, “Who do you think you are?” “What makes you so special?”

Fortunately, there’s someone we meet that we desperately need. You need as many of these in your corner as you can find. Put them on speed dial or add them to your favorites list. Read their messages first.

It’s the Encourager.  These are the people who see you as capable and competent. They build your confidence. They give you courage; actually, they deposit courage into you.

The Encourager fills you with hope and reminds you that you are valuable. They may not always use perfect English, but their message is always spot on. Like this scene from The Help that shows the power of the Encourager, “You is kind, you is smart, you is important."

There’s another important person you meet on the Road to Why. Hopefully, you meet many of these people, too. Once you are on the Road to Why, you may realize you met them much earlier in your journey. They inspired you; they embodied what you want to emulate. It’s the Hero.

You may know them intimately, and it’s equally possible that you’ve never met. They could be well known or unknown; their fame is irrelevant.

It’s their example that counts. Your hero could be someone on the world stage, the person who built the stage, or the person who sweeps the stage after the show is over. Each is equally remarkable and may exude qualities you deem admirable.

Anyone can be a Hero, and everybody is somebody’s Hero.

We all need Heroes. In some cases, your Hero may pull double duty and play another vital role in your journey and also serve as a Mentor.

A hero may remain distant; mentors get close. You may never meet your hero. They could have lived generations before you, but they inspire you and model greatness. Mentors, on the other hand, often are up-close and personal.

Yes, it is possible to have Mentors from another time and place. I have several virtual mentors. They are a great complement to in-person mentoring, but will never fully supplement in-person mentoring.

Heroes inspire you, Mentors invest in you.

I had mentors in my life long before I knew the word or concept. I have never participated in a formal mentoring program. No advisor ever reviewed my application and matched me with a mentor. My mentoring relationships have happened organically, and a few even had divine origins.

A few were formal. A few I sought out, others just happened. They all had something in common. Every Mentor invested in me. I am deeply grateful to them for their mentorship.

Thank God for Heroes, Mentors, and Encouragers. You will need them and their example to help you with the next people you encounter on the journey. The Critic.

Here’s the truth. On your Road to WHY, you will encounter Critics. There seems to be a correlation between the size of your WHY and the number of Critics you will attract. Their goal is to thwart your progress on the Road to WHY. Do not give in to them. The only way to avoid them Critics is to say nothing, write nothing, do nothing, and be nothing.

That’s a high price to pay to silence the critics.

Instead, heed the wise words of Theodore Roosevelt.

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. 

The final group of people on the Road to WHY will be the ones who come alongside you or you beside them.  It’s the Ally. That person, or persons, with whom you find a kindred spirit and common cause. They have your back, and you have theirs.

Allies come in all shapes and sizes. Some you connect with for a season, others stick with you for the journey. Some allies are in the background providing support and resources. Others share the stage with you. Bill Withers may have best summarized the role of the Ally, “We all need somebody to lean on.”

There you have it, the seven people you will meet on your Road to Why. Where are you on your journey? How many of these people can you identify? Which ones are most active and involved now. Which ones are most needed today?

It’s a conversation I want to continue. Here are four ways that come to mind:

• If you’re on the Road to WHY, consider this my personal invitation to join the Living Your WHY Facebook Group. It’s a hub for Awakeners, Encouragers, Heroes, Mentors, and Allies — Critics and Doubters need not apply.
• Join us for The WHY Conversations on Blab. Currently on Wednesdays at 3:00 EDT.
• Jump on a Quick Connect Call with me. We'll talk about whatever is on your mind.
• Engage in the conversation by leaving a comment below.

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