7 Life Lessons Learned at a Funeral

Welcome to my bi-weekly blog about life, work, and adventure at 40 & 50+, and the lessons learned along the way. (Scroll down to read the blog.)??

If this is your first time reading this blog, welcome. As the former co-founder of a pro-age women’s community, recognized Influencer in Aging by Next Avenue magazine, and Facebook Community Accelerator alum, I launched this blog to share personal insights gathered from my journey through middlescence to encourage us to be a little more empathetic and curious about people of all ages. You never know what someone else is going through unless you care enough to ask. Start asking.?

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Dear Middlescent,

I attended a funeral yesterday to say goodbye to a friend, and, even in death, she gave me another gift I wanted to share with all of you. ?

As I sat there listening to stories about the impact she’d had on people’s lives, I was captivated by the poetic juxtaposition of crying and laughter—often expressed in the same sentence. My heart broke to see someone’s life cut short at 59, but it was also filled with joy to hear how she embraced and lived life. She traveled with family and friends. Made everyone feel like they were a best friend. Used her talents and smarts to help others. Achieved an enviable professional career. But most importantly, she lived life out loud, unapologetic, unrestrained.

During the Celebration of Life, her sister shared a conversation she’d had with her where she asked, “Do you have any regrets in life?” Her response. “I’ve got no regrets, except one. I wish I would’ve been able to publish my book.” She had been working on a book, but was unable to complete it before she passed.

I sat there in awe. How many of us can honestly answer this question and say they only have one regret in life? I’d venture to say, I could count those people on one hand. In fact, I think many of us have a laundry list of regrets, overdue plans, unrealized aspirations, and more.

As I drove home, I rolled the windows down, even though it was raining, and stuck my hand out the window. I felt the warm, cool wind caress and gently move my hand. I felt water drops splash on my hand and instantly blow off. I felt with renewed intensity.

Have you ever been so present that the experience is all consuming?

As I puttered along I-25 stopping and going during rush hour, I couldn’t help but think, my friend will never experience the wind or rain drops hitting her hand again, at least not in this lifetime. ?

I felt grateful to be alive.

And then, I became aware of those around me. People were rushing down the freeway. Cutting others off with no regard. Barricaded in their cars, windows closed. How sad.

Up to this point, I’d always tell myself and others, “If today didn’t work out as you hoped, there’s always tomorrow.” But tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. In fact, nothing in life is guaranteed. Including waking up tomorrow.

I’m sharing this experience because I want more of us to trim down our laundry list of regrets, overdue plans, or unrealized aspirations…before it’s too late.

Here’s 7 life lessons I gathered from attending my friend's funeral.?May they serve you well.

1.???Dive into things that interest you with insatiable curiosity.

2.???Give forgiveness you’ve been denying, including to yourself.

3.???Do at least one thing each day that makes you smile or that you enjoy.

4.???Don’t limit what you do or don’t do because of your age.

5.???Be more present and do more things that are actually important to you.

6.???No one is immortal. Remembering that death can come at any time can help minimize mindless pursuits and help you live more fully. ?

7.???Last but not least, let the ones you love know you love them. ?

My best life advice is live a life worth living. While each person has a different, beautiful, and difficult journey, follow your north star. Do what you love, honor your talents and skills, acknowledge your progress, and fill your day with things and people that make you laugh.?

Now, go out and live. Blessings Debbie.