The 7 Lessons I've Learned In My 20s

This month, I just turned 30 and to better move forward I decided to take a look back at my 20’s and reflect on the incredible journey I had.

As I look back, I remember all of the great victories, the epic failures, the ups and downs and even me trying to find myself. All these experiences were the stepping stones to get to where I needed to be by 30 and I wouldn't change a thing.

Hopefully, you'll relate to some of it or get some new ideas if you're currently struggling through it.

1- Becoming An Attentive Listener

I was in sales all my life and I realized at 28 how wrong I was all along. Like many individuals (especially in sales), I had a natural tendency to focus more on talking than listening.

By genuinely listening more, I was able to better recognize the opportunities to create and add value for others.

"The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply."

Note: if we ever meet and you catch my phone on the table or in my hand, I'll happily give you 10$. You deserve and will get my full attention.

Great books that helped me in this pursuit: How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie and The Charisma Myth by Olivia Fox Cabane.

2- Working Harder Than You Feel Is Necessary

In high school, we watched Gattaca and the movie made a profound impact on me.  In one particular scene, Anton challenges his brother Vincent to a rematch of “chicken,” in which they both swim out into the ocean as far as they dare; the first one to turn back is the loser.

Once more, the underdog (Vincent) beats his fraternal rival. Astonished at this turning of the tables, Anton asks:

“How are you doing this Vincent? How have you done any of this?”

To which his brother replies:

“You wanna know how I did it? This is how I did it, Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back.”

Whatever you do, don't save anything for the swim back, give it your all. Be the very best version of yourself and don't waste time comparing yourself to others.

3- Surrounding Yourself With Positive Souls

I came to the realization that we have a limited amount of time and energy. We all say/think it, but to actually deeply understand it is a different thing and my mononucleosis at 21 made sure I did. The sickness inspired me to make meaningful decisions. One of which was to choose to keep or terminate the friendships that negatively impacted these resources. I chose the latter without ever looking back.

Today, more than ever, if I determine that a person is repeatedly seeping my energy, I move on, regardless of who it is.

Your entourage influences your experiences, so make it a positive one. Keep in mind that you will blend into the environment that your closest friends create, so surround yourself with people that inspire your ambition.

4- Learning How To Learn

I was never really a fan of the Quebec education system since most of our education focused on learning just what we are required to know to get a degree. Meanwhile, I felt my curiosity was deteriorating and undervalued.

Truth is, I reinstated my mind to learn how to learn while in University and it felt amazing. As an undergraduate, I couldn't help myself but sneak in different postgraduate classes and conferences to learn new subjects. It brought me back to my early childhood, where you explore and discover something new every single day.

I believe that going to University should be about experiencing as much academically as you possibly can, but more importantly, it should be about learning how to learn and recognizing that learning is a lifelong endeavor. At 30, I can already tell those who made the commitment to keep investing in themselves from those that gave up.

5- "Fall 7 Times, Stand Up 8"

There are many instances in life where we are at a crossroad and we can either "trust our guts" or let fear take hold of our decisions. 

"You either live your dreams or live your fears."

I chose, very early on, that I would never let fear dictate my actions. I took many risks and I failed many times, but I always learned and I always got back up. Optimism and resilience are key to success. 

If you're in your 20s and contemplating whether or not you should start a new venture, start a new career, travel, DO IT! The outcome of following your intuition can only be positive. 

6- Exercising, Staying Healthy

At 27, I had gained 17 pounds in a span of a year and wasn't feeling my best physically and mentally. I went back to the gym, sweated my ass off and made healthier food choices. My upcoming wedding was the extra push to keep my focus (I wanted to look good for her in that Tuxedo).

Nowadays, I either run or hit the gym 5 days a week at 6 am. I sure don't always want to, but it's a habit I wish to keep, so I commit.

Physical activity leaves you feeling happier, more relaxed and it boosts your energy. How can we say no to that?

7- Setting Clear Goals

We all have the ability to envision in our mind what we cannot presently see with our eyes, but as the saying goes:

"Goals that are not written down are just wishes."

Early in my 20s, I settled for goals that were too lofty, vague and didn’t have quantifiable endpoints. Then, I swung like a madman at them as if I only wanted to hit home runs. You wouldn't be surprised to find out that my batting average on these goals wasn't very high.

Most meaningful goals take time, they need constant effort, and they contain many smaller steps. I now begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of my desired direction and destination and I am proactive to make things happen each step of the way. Each milestone completed should be a little celebration inside, it makes that long road an enjoyable ride.

Thank you to those who crossed my path and made me a better person along the way. Here’s to another 30 years… Giddy Up!