7 Keys To Embracing Happiness
Sheli Bowman
Conscious Business Strategist | Leadership Strategy Author | AI & Digital Strategy Expert | Course Creation Coach | MBA | Reiki Master 27yrs | Lightworker
The pursuit of happiness might seem like the most fundamental component of human existence, but do we actually put in the effort? If asked almost everyone would say they want to be happy. So why are so many people unhappy?
Brain
First, let’s start with our brains. As marvelous as it is, the essential job of the brain is to keep us alive. It has not caught up to the fact that we will not be eaten by a Sabertooth tiger, and hunting/gathering for most has been replaced by a trip to the grocery store. Without all of our time spent surviving, our instincts focus on more current concerns, such as social acceptance in the form of likes on social media and other modern distractions that trigger outdated instincts. We’ll look at how to override or reprogram these below.
Hierarchy of Needs
Another way of looking at the foundation of happiness is via Maslow's original hierarchy of needs, which is a theory that states there are five levels of human needs that dictate an individual's motivation and behavior. From the bottom of the hierarchy upwards, the needs are as follows:
Basic needs:
Psychological needs:
Self-fulfillment needs:
While this is a model of motivation, it is also a barometer of the degree of happiness that people might have, and the drivers for that happiness. Of course, people can find happiness in moments at any level, but if you are fighting for basic survival needs, it will be fleeting. This does not in any way mean that money brings happiness. Indeed, some of the most joyful people I have been blessed with spending time with had very few material possessions. They did however have just enough to eat and be safe, but also strong social and spiritual community bonds and convictions. I’ve also known or observed a lot of very wealthy, very successful, or very idolized people who are unhappy.
Maslow's original and later more advanced hierarchy theories (which add cognitive needs, aesthetic needs, and beyond self-actualization, transcendence) are very theoretical when applied to happiness, but offer a good foundation or jumping-off point to more practical, actionable steps. So what are the keys to happiness and how to put them into practice to bring increased and ongoing joy and happiness into your life?
7 Key Components of Happiness
Many people are not happy because they are not working on at least one or more of the seven key components to happiness.?
Determine
It might sound obvious, but one of the most important keys to your personal happiness is determining that you actually really want to be happy and will prioritize that which brings you joy and work on eliminating things from your life that make you unhappy. For many people, their personal happiness is not a priority, they put the happiness of others (e.g. children, spouse, boss) before our own. While this people-pleasing tendency may bring some degree of fulfillment from seeing others happy, codependency is not a sustainable path to personal happiness. This certainly doesn't mean you should make yourself happy at the expense of others, just that your happiness should not be sacrificed to in order to make others happy. Once your determine you deserve happiness and you're committed to making it happen, then we look at other areas of our life that may need attention.
Address Your Issues
Trauma, whether suppressed or identified, is a huge block to true happiness, and everyone has some trauma from childhood. This does not necessarily mean catastrophic or dramatic situations, such as war, loss of a parent, homelessness, being bullied or parents divorcing. It can be small things which might have been for our own good as children, such as being scolded for being loud or for getting bad grades, but now cause anxiety and unhappiness as an adult. Once we have determined we would like to work toward true happiness, then it is necessary to work on these issues. Cognitive behaviour therapy is one option, but there are many alternative healing technics to deal with trauma, such as hypnosis, yoga, mediation , acupuncture, homeopathy, traditional Chinese medicine, massage therapy, herbal medicine, deep-breathing exercises, mind-body therapy, tai chi, art therapy and many others, which can be used alone or in combination.
Engage
Once you make your pursuit of happiness a priority and are ready to work on your issues, make a list of things that make you happy. Review your happiest memories, what activities make you joyful? As long as it is not harmful (e.g. drugs or alcohol), which would be counterintuitive, let’s pursue more of that! Find joy in creativity? Join a writing group or take an art class. If you're not very active, try some physical activity or sport you once loved or start a new one. Being active will release a number of neurotransmitters, including endorphins, endocannabinoids, and dopamine. Exercise also promotes neuroplasticity and increases the oxygen supply to your brain. But beware of not taking on too much, which can lead to burnout. Gyms are full of NY resolution enthusiasts in January, who disappear soon after. If it has been a bit of time, start small, like short walks before expanding to longer walks, hikes or runs. Love dancing? Try some movement classes before advancing to the salsa lessons. Enjoy gardening? Do whatever your space allows to grow some of your own food. Staying fit and eating healthy are two of the building blocks to happiness. All that is necessary is that you find a way to connect or reconnect with the things that have brought you joy and possibly find new healthy outlets for your passions.
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Access Your Environment
Have you ever walked into a room and felt either sad or happy? Whether it was the people, colors, smells, sounds, or things that had taken place in that room, the result was the energy of the room affected you. Especially if we don’t have a lot of inner peace, our environment can have a lot to do with how we feel and we can always take responsibility for changing our environment. It might be as drastic as getting a divorce to leave a negative person or as simple as buying some plants, cheerful pillows, or even a furry companion to brighten up your home. Marie Kondo’s method, which encourages living only among items that you truly cherish, may be a bit extreme for some, but you could try eliminating some of the unnecessary clutter and things that does not bring you joy. Tidy and clutter-free spaces feel less chaotic and lighter. If it is difficult to make significant changes, for financial or other reasons, then you can make a commitment to be in nature as much as possible. You can also clear your inner environment, but developing and strengthening your inner peace through meditation, but that is another topic (more on meditation here ).
Connect
Humans are social creatures and most of us benefit from having special people in our lives. Perhaps you have lost touch with family or friends that were once important to you. Reach out to them! We are blessed to live in a time when reconnecting or consistently connecting with loved ones online is relatively easy and free. Perhaps we have slipped out of the habit of having a date night with our partner or simply planning some special time with family. It is important to our own pursuit of happiness to stay connected with those we love. If you are far from loved ones, try meeting like-minded people. MeetUp and Facebook are awesome resources for finding groups that are aligned with your interests. Churches and clubs are also great places to find others that share your interests.
Volunteer
Another essential to finding true happiness is to give of ourselves. When we freely give our time and enter into service from a place of joy, it can be amazingly uplifting. Helping others in both small and large ways can help make you happier and give you a sense of fulfillment. You might even be able to combine giving and engaging in one of your ‘happiness activities’. If you love the ocean, join a beach clean-up, if enjoy gardening you could volunteer at a local community garden or if you like serving food, turn up at a Sikh temple, most of which serve meals free of charge to all. But honestly, volunteering and relieving the suffering of others or making the lives of others more pleasant in any small way will bring you fulfillment, even if the task is not your favorite thing.
Engender Gratitude
Finally, it is actually quite difficult to be unhappy when we are truly grateful. Try making a daily list of just three aspects of your life that you are grateful for and make a new and different list daily. Include all the things that make you happy and even some that you take for granted, such as having food and shelter, having functioning senses, having a relatively healthy body, etc. So many of us get down because we dwell on the negative, but there is always something about our life that we can be grateful for. Each day we wake up is a miracle. Many went to sleep and did not wake up. On a TV show, the host asked each participant if they would like USD 10,000. The two eager participants immediately said “Yes!” and got more and more excited as he incrementally raised that to USD 1,000,000. At that point they we ecstatic, then he said “Would you take the 1 million if it meant this was your last day alive?” They declined, emphasizing the point that each day we wake up is worth well more than a million dollars, yet we mostly take it for granted.
The pursuit of happiness should be a joyful journey and an exploration. It is your life and you are responsible for your own happiness. Put in the effort, because you are worth it!
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I am Sheli Bowman and I offer strategic business consulting and course creation to guide and empower conscious coaches, entrepreneurs, and wellness expert to achieve increased revenue, greater success, and more impact on the world.
One of the things that previous clients wanted help with, was course creation.?I am now offering a 12-week program that will give you EVERYTHING you need to create and launch a successful high-ticket course, without tech overwhelm or content confusion.?While this offering is my own, using my coaching and 27 years of digital marketing experience, it is based on a system that has helped thousands over a 10 year period create, launch, and market very successful courses.
If the above speaks to you, I would love to welcome you in my free?High-Ticket Mastery for Conscious Coaches ?FB group, where I consistently post valuable tip and information in lives, training videos, and posts like this.
I am Sheli Bowman, and I bridge a gap between the spiritual and the strategic. I have an MBA and decades of experience as a brand manager, creative director, and digital strategy consultant for multinationals. At the same time as a Reiki Master, an advanced Soul Realignment practitioner reading the Akashic Records, a facilitator for other modalities, and a certified life coach, I have empowered people to align and transform for many years. I now focus on guiding impact-driven coaches, Lightworkers, and wellness experts to share their unique knowledge and wisdom through course creation.
Don't hesitate to message me if you would like to share your unique knowledge and expertise with the world by creating a wisdom-led course or coaching program. My Quantum Course Creation program will provide you with the proven process, and support system needed to create and successfully launch your course.
Wishing you a journey of discovery, joy, and impact!