The 7 Habits Of The Highly Happy

In my previous article, we looked at the 7 happiness sins. Now, let's explore what we can do to overcome those sins. Let's get started!

The 1st Habit Of The Highly Happy:-

This habit is for overcoming sin #1 (devaluing happiness). It tells us to prioritize but not to pursue happiness. Remind yourself to make happiness enhancing decisions but don't become obsessed with constant happiness as it may very reasonably be possible that we might not feel happy at every second. Constantly monitoring the happiness levels will lead to stress and ultimately leave us feeling unhappy. It's ok to not be happy at every moment in our life. Life inevitably brings challenges and that's okay. Focus on enjoying the journey, not just the destination.

The 2nd Habit Of The Highly Happy:-

This habit is for overcoming sin #2 (chasing superiority). It tells us to go with the flow or to live in the present. Flow is that state of complete absorption in a task where your skills are challenged and you lose track of time. It's the key to deep satisfaction and mastery. Here's the secret: flow happens when the challenge is slightly above your current abilities. It's said that 10000 hours of flow-like experiences leads us to attain expertise in our particular domain which is roughly about 10 years. Let me tell you how you can find your 'flow' at work-

• Identify your talents & nurture them : What are you naturally good at? Hone those skills and find opportunities to use them
• Identify what your community needs : What are your colleagues or clients struggling with? How can you use your talents to solve their problems? This creates a win-win situation, fostering connection & a sense of purpose.

By engaging in such activities, we will enjoy the moment and ultimately the need for superiority will die down by itself.

Also, practising self-compassion can be really helpful. Now, self-compassion doesn't mean the same as self-pity or self-indulgence. It means being kind to ourselves & saying to ourselves the very things that we would be saying to a friend if they were in our situation. Engaging in self-compassion helps mitigate the need for superiority. It also helps us recognize that failures & setbacks are a part-and-parcel of our lives which also helps us to connect with others better.

Practising gratitude helps us to remain grounded when things are going well. It takes us away from heuristic pride (that doesn't last long) towards love (that has the potential to last longer) which leads us to the next habit.

The 3rd Habit Of The Highly Happy:-

This habit is for overcoming sin #3 (being needy - or its opposite : being avoidant). It tells that self-compassion & gratitude help in strengthening our relationships & make us feel secure. If we are kind to others, it will be reciprocative of them to be kind to us in return. We humans are hard-wired for kindness and the need to love & give is somewhere inherent in us. Being grateful & doing good to others makes us feel competent, capable & effective which helps us to move away from both needy and avoidant behaviors. We build secure connections based on mutual respect, trust and emotional availability.

The 4th Habit Of The Highly Happy:-

This habit is for overcoming sin #4 (being overly control-seeking). It tells us to take personal responsibility for our happiness. Taking personal responsibility for our happiness gives us a greater sense of internal control and lowers our desire for external control which eventually makes us less likely to be overly controlling. Seeking the ability to regulate our emotions will make our lives a lot easier. Here are the simple strategies to regulate our emotions-

• Situation Selection : Avoid situations where unwanted negative feelings are evoked
• Labelling Emotions : It's different from discussing or analyzing an emotion-inducing event. It simply means to name the emotions & move on, for example, if we are stuck in a traffic for almost an hour it would be natural to feel frustrated but before this frustration leads to anger, say in your minds, "Ok, I'm frustrated". By labelling the emotion, we are accepting that this emotion temporarily exists and leads us to think what can we do to remove it, like, listening to our favourite song
• Attention Deployment : It means directing our attention away from the things that trigger negative thoughts & focussing on the things that trigger positive thoughts. But, it should be done without self-serving bias. Self-serving bias involves taking credit for successes & blaming others or luck for failures
• Cognitive Reappraisal : Reinterpreting situations so that we feel better about them

Regulating our emotions helps us retain the key to our happiness, develop personal mastery & gives us the ability to react more maturely to others

The 5th Habit Of The Highly Happy:-

This habit is for overcoming sin #5 (distrusting others). It tells us to practice proactive trust. By practising proactive trust, we increase the likelihood of surrounding ourselves with trustworthy people, which, in turn, would contribute to societal upliftment.

Benefits of Proactive Trust:

• Stronger Relationships: When we trust others, we open ourselves up to deeper connections and build a support network
• Enhanced Communication: Trust fosters open and honest communication, leading to better collaboration and problem-solving
• Increased Happiness: Trusting relationships create a sense of security and belonging, contributing to overall happiness

The 6th Habit Of The Highly Happy:-

This habit is for overcoming sin #6 (distrusting life). It tells us to practice the dispassionate pursuit of passion. This doesn't mean giving up on your dreams. It's about pursuing your passions while accepting that outcomes may not always be what you expect (for example, if a business project did not go well). Practising it helps us to reflect on the past negative outcomes & look for ways in which a seemingly negative event triggered a positive outcome (like, reflecting on what went wrong with the project & rectifying those mistakes in the next project).

The 7th Habit Of The Highly Happy:-

This habit is for overcoming sin #7 (ignoring the source within). It tells us to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is a powerful determinant of well-being because it:

• Makes us calmer
• Gives us the ability to react to situations in a flexible & conscious manner
• Helps us to respond to life events with emotional intelligence
• Helps us settle down into the present which makes us view ordinary things with curiosity, interest & awe

Some might believe mindfulness that makes you weak. Here's the truth:

• Mindfulness is Not About Having No Thoughts: Our minds naturally wander. Mindfulness is about observing thoughts without judgement and gently bringing our attention back to the present
• Mindfulness Breeds Strength: Emotional awareness and thoughtful responses make you more resilient and adaptable
• Mindfulness Promotes Compassion, Not Weakness: Compassion allows you to understand and care for others, fostering stronger relationships. Mindfulness promotes compassion & we mistakenly equate compassion with weakness.

It's important to remember that mindfulness is not about having no thoughts, but rather, changing our relationship with our thoughts.

Ready to reconnect with your inner compass and unlock a more mindful approach to work and life? Share your thoughts and mention the habit(s) which you would like to follow in the comments below!